Keeping golfers honest can be ‘rough’

Playing golf isn’t a morality play — those dramas in the Middle Ages that used to pit virtue against vice — but it is a game that involves an honor system which sometimes tests the integrity of players.

By:Arnold Bornstein
   Playing golf isn’t a morality play — those dramas in the Middle Ages that used to pit virtue against vice — but it is a game that involves an honor system which sometimes tests the integrity of players.
   It doesn’t involve the pros, but the everyday golfers that you see in Monroe Township or Middlesex County or on any course wherever golf is played. It centers on keeping an accurate count of your shots and a system called handicaps.
   Unfortunately, we are all too familiar with the realities of physical and mental handicaps, but if you’re not too familiar with golf, handicaps are a way of attempting to equalize the chances of all golfers, be they good, mediocre or poor.
   Take for example, a local private or public golf course where par is 72 strokes for playing 18 holes. In other words, par is the standard for a truly good golfer to go around the 18 holes (handicaps are based on playing 18 holes) and do it in 72 strokes or swings.
   Usually, only the pros consistently shoot par, so handicaps are used. Say, as a further example, that Tiger Woods is playing locally next week (Could it be?) and shoots a 72 for par, although, in reality, he would shoot under par. Then there’s a local resident at the course who has a 16 handicap (based on his or her prior play) and he or she shoots an 88. You subtract the handicap (16) from the actual score (88) and you get the handicap-adjusted total of 72, so the local resident would be tied with Tiger.
When the pros play in tournaments, however, there are no handicaps because all the pros are expected to be capable of shooting par.
   Who determines the handicaps? At most courses, an honor system is used and each golfer is expected to keep his or her own score, which is put into a computer and the handicap is averaged out.
   "Golf Digest" magazine listed the handicaps of entertainment personalities in an article titled "Celebrity Swingers," and it’s startling how low and how good the handicaps are, although the magazine added, "it should be noted ‘verified’ handicaps are not always accurate handicaps."
   "I think all people exaggerate their handicaps," said actor Chris O’Donnell, "saying they’re lower than they really are — until they play in a tournament." It is said that nobody questions O’Donnell’s handicap of 6.6 as he is considred one of the best celebrity golfers in Hollywood. You’ll recall him as Robin in the movie, "Batman and Robin." In other words, his actual score on a par-72 course would be expected to be around 79 (72 plus 6.6) — very good for a non-pro.
   Matt Damon, who played a golfer in the relatively recent movie, "The Legend of Bagger Vance," is listed with a 20 handicap. Kevin Costner, who made a golf movie called "Tin Cup" five years a go, has a 12.6 handicap.
Comedian Bob Newhart, who has a scheduled appearance later this month at the Garden State Performing Arts Center, has an 8.2 handicap. Sylvester Stallone has a 10 and Bruce Willis 16. At the other end of the Hollywood handicap spectrum, Tom Cruise has a 23, Mel Gibson a 26.7 (which would still be "breaking a 100" — 72 plus 26.7 is about 99) and Richard Dreyfuss a 31.3.
   Michael Douglas has a 15.5 and his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, a 20, which with handicap-adjustments would make her a better golfer than Cruise and Gibson and even Arnold Schwarzenegger, who’s a 24. By the way, Cheryl Ladd of "Charlie’s Angels" television fame has a 16.4
   Other low handicaps include Samuel L. Jackson, 10.1; Jack Nicholson, 10.7; Clint Eastwood; 11, Robert Redford, 12 and Sean Connery, 15.
   I asked a friend, who’s a very good golfer, why it seemed that so many entertainment celebrities have much lower handicaps than many golfers. He suggested that they have the money, of course, to have top professional golf instructors accompany them when they play golf.
   In any case, be it at the Bel-Air Country Club (where Tom Cruise plays) or at a local course, golf is really considered an individual sport rather than a team sport. (Cruise, by the way, grew up in New Jersey.) You’re competing against others, but you’re also trying to make the lowest score or handicap that you can — in other words, trying to beat your personal best. So when you record a score that’s not accurate, you’re also fooling yourself.
   Bob Brue, a pro golfer on the Senior Tour, said jokingly: "The best thing about the senior tour is that you can’t remember your bad shots."
   Among other things, there could be a periodic tendency to forget shots if you’re not carrying a stroke counter, and there could even be "creative scorekeeping," whether they’re playing at Bel-Air or at a local course here.
   Why is this so? Is ego or peer pressure involved? In any event, it is a matter that goes far beyond the game of golf and many other games as well. It involves innumerable facets of life.
   As the wise among us have said, morality and character and ethics also involve what you do when nobody’s looking. FORE!