‘Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?’

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By: Stuart Duncan
   Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up? sounds suspiciously like one of those bouncy little playlets found in the back of the Samuel French school catalog, suitable for junior grades. In truth, it is a mature venture on the memory lane of Catholic schooling, with stops at various grades that leave the audience in helpless laughter.
   Add huge globs of young talent, energy and surprising polish, and you come close to what Actors’ NET of Bucks County is offering at its Heritage Center Playhouse in Morrisville, Pa. For the full treatment, you’ll have to experience it in person and let the company’s charm wash all over you.
   First, the premise. We meet eight youngsters in the second grade of St. Bastion’s Elementary School, late 1970s. Each is just beginning to show personality traits that will become more obvious later. BitMary (BiAnne Sudia) already is the class nerd and general goody-two-shoes, always raising her hand, always getting picked for the important projects. Felix (Scott Lutz) is already showing early signs of active sexual thinking. The nuns (Nancy Oblea and Emily Van Praag) already are suggesting sin is an awkward way to heaven.
   We next drop in on our octet in the fifth grade and things are heating up. The group is making agonizing visits to the confessional booth. One pair, Eddie (John Zimmerman, who grows with each production) and Becky (Denise Policastro), are finding that "best friends" can overcome personal loneliness. She worries whether or not God can love "fat girls."
   By now, Sister Lee (Cheryl Mazzarini) has become a real terror, and Father O’Reilly (Steve Decker) is beginning to doubt the wisdom of his avocation. By the time Act I ends, the kids have finished eighth grade and now head for separate schooling, without the distractions of gender. Virginia (Emma Chong) and Nancy (Bryn Taylor) remain at St. Bastion’s, along with the rest of the girls. But Mike (Larry Guest) and Louis (Ryan Dethy), along with Eddie and Felix, advance to St. Patrick High School for Boys.
   Of course, there are occasional dance "mixers," but in general, Felix sums it up well when he announces that Catholic girls are like "wiffle balls. They just don’t go very far."
   Eddie watches with an aching loss as Becky decides to enter a convent; the young hormones are sublimated to more adult pleasures and concerns. The show takes on shadings of the heart, along with all the laughs.
   The entire company can sing, and all can dance with gusto. When you notice the kids are singing eight-part harmony in a few of the numbers, you realize this is no ordinary bit of fluff. Director Joy Doyle and musical directors Jim and Susan Barto have worked hard and been greatly rewarded. Danielle Tucci-Juraga has provided some sensational choreography. Patent Leather Shoes not only hits the memory veins, it whacks the heart pretty good, too.
Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up? plays at The Heritage Center, 635 N. Delmorr Ave., Morrisville, Pa., through July 1. Performances: Fri.-Sat. 8 p.m.; Sun. 6 p.m. For information, call (215) 295-3694. On the Web: hometown.aol.com/actorsnet