Magical Season

Brace yourself for another British invasion as Harry Potter takes over the megaplexes this fall.

By: Kam Williams
   Although the end-of-summer vacation might mean it’s back-to-school time, it’s important to remember that all work and no play makes Harry a dull boy. I hope all you "Muggles" allow your offspring to sample some of this fall’s assortment of cinema offerings. If you’re scratching your head and asking, "What’s a Muggle?" and "Who’s Harry?," you must not have any youngsters around the house.
   Otherwise, you’d know Muggles are ordinary people — we parents and other non-wizards. At least, that’s so in the magical world of Harry Potter, a kiddie-captivating phenomenon created by British author J.K. Rowling. The big-screen adaptation of the first of her four best-selling novels is the most eagerly anticipated children’s movie in years.
   Titled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, the movie is directed by cinematic explorer Christopher Columbus, best known for such tyke-friendly features as Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire and Bicentennial Man. Daniel Radcliffe, a bright, bespectacled, 12-year-old Brit with only one prior film credit to his name (The Tailor of Panama), will star in the title role as Harry.
   Don’t let the Harry Potter buzz between now and its Nov. 16 opening overshadow an interesting slate of autumnal selections. Among movies of note are Glitter, troubled diva Mariah Carey’s first film, and K-Pax, Kevin Spacey’s science-fiction endeavor. Usual suspects Arnold, Denzel and Keanu have films this fall, too. Yes, Muggles, there are some entertaining alternatives to the over-hyped hysteria of Hogwarts, Hermione and Harry.
The Musketeer (Sept. 7) — En garde! Fleet-footed fourth Musketeer D’Artagnan gets his 11th action-adventure flick set in 17th century France. Based on the Alexander Dumas novel, but adapted by Police Academy 3 & 4 scriptwriter Gene Quintano.
Rock Star (Sept. 7) — Mark Wahlberg goes ape in a rock ‘n’ roll comedy as a wannabe who makes the most of a chance to fill in for the lead singer of the heavy metal group he adores. Based on true story of traveling salesman-turned-Judas Priest frontman Tim "Ripper” Owens. Sex, drugs and Fuller brushes.
Two Can Play That Game (Sept. 7) — Vivica A. Fox turns the tables on cheating player Morris Chestnut in a battle-of-the-sexes romantic comedy. Gap-toothed Anthony Anderson advises his buddy about playettes, including Gabrielle Union and Tamala Jones. It is whether you win or lose.
The Glass House (Sept. 14) — Spooky, stone-throwing chiller with Leelee Sobieski and Trevor Morgan as orphans who suspect the skeletons in their adoptive parents’ closets might be their real-life mother and father.
Deuces Wild (Sept. 14) — Follow the Queen. Fickle Fairuza Balk stars as the lustful leader of an all-girl gang who goes gaga over a guy from a gang across the tracks. Late 1950s Brooklyn is the setting for bloody warfare between the Vipers and the Deuces.
Hardball (Sept. 14) — White Shadow Keanu (not Ken) Reeves stars as an alcoholic gambler who learns a big lesson about life by guiding ghetto little-leaguers. This is an adaptation of an inspirational Daniel Coyle book based on a true story that took place in Chicago’s infamous Cabrini Green housing projects.
Soul Survivors (Sept. 14) — A teen screamer about a cute college co-ed caught in hallucinatory limbo between here and the hereafter following the car crash that kills her boyfriend, Casey Affleck (Ben’s little brother).
Big Trouble (Sept. 21) — A dubious adaptation of syndicated journalist Dave Barry’s novel with Tim Allen, Janeane Garofalo, Stanley Tucci, Omar Epps, Heavy D and Rene Russo. Yetta nudder Mafia comedy about a middle-class family that gets mixed up with the mob and the FBI.
Glitter (Sept. 21) — Mariah Carey’s eagerly anticipated, twice-delayed big-screen debut. The quasi-autobiography follows the up-from-nothing rise of a N.Y.C. slum girl who sings her way out of the projects. The cast includes warbler Eric Benét, rapper Da Brat and Terrence Howard.
Training Day (Sept. 21) — Denzel Washington plays a corrupt cop showing the ropes to rookie Ethan Hawke on his first day on the job in this action-oriented crime drama.
Don’t Say a Word (Sept. 28) — A psychological thriller with Michael Douglas and Famke Janssen, adapted from the Andrew Klavan novel, about a couple in a frantic search for their kidnapped daughter. With Jennifer Esposito, Oliver Platt and Guy Torry.
Hearts in Atlantis (Sept. 28) — Scary Anthony Hopkins stars in this scary Stephen King story, set in Connecticut in the 1960s, about a fatherless boy bothered by bullies who is befriended by the town weirdo.
Zoolander (Sept. 28) — An Austin Powers-ish farce written, directed and starring Ben Stiller as a shallow male supermodel who gets recruited by the CIA. The expanded cast includes Owen Wilson, Jerry Stiller, Oscar-winners Jon Voight and Cuba Gooding, rock singers David Bowie and Lenny Kravitz, Vince Vaughn and, unfortunately, kiss-of-death Will Ferrell.
The Wash (Oct. 3) — An ostensible remake of Car Wash with rappers Snoop Doggy Dogg, Eminem, Dr. Dre and comedian George Wallace as the affable owner. Simonize yesterday! Simonize today! Simonize forever!
Collateral Damage (Oct. 5) — Arnold Schwarzenegger is back as a firefighter-turned-streetfighter out to avenge the accidental murder of his wife and kid by Colombian terrorists who blew up a motorcade.
Joy Ride (Oct. 5) — Leelee Sobieski stars in a road horror flick about a trio of teens on the run from Rusty Nail, a psycho trucker with a curious CB radio handle.
Max Keeble’s Big Move (Oct. 5) — Revenge of the geek. Disney kiddie comedy about a nerdy seventh-grader who decides to get even with his tormentors the week before his family relocates to Chicago. Best-laid plans change and Max’s trauma intensifies.
Serendipity (Oct. 5) — Lightning strikes twice for John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale in romantic comedy as long-lost lovers having another go at it a decade later.
Bandits (Oct. 12) — Money is the root of evil and love. Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton in a true tale about amorous, avaricious bank robbers who both fall in love with Cate Blanchett, the woman they’ve kidnapped.
Corky Romano (Oct. 12) — A Mafia comedy with SNL’s Chris Kattan in title role as a prodigal cretin who infiltrates the FBI for his mob-boss father.
The Last Castle (Oct. 12) — Robert Redford stars as an unfairly court-martialed general who leads an uprising of a thousand inmates in a military prison. Let my people bivouac!
The Count of Monte Cristo (Oct. 19) — The 12th big-screen adaptation of the classic Alexander Dumas Napoleonic novel about a falsely accused sailor who escapes from an island prison to find a buried treasure and take revenge on the jealous creeps who framed him.
From Hell (Oct. 19) — Menace II Society, too. Hughes Brothers’ version of oft-told saga of Jack the Ripper, London’s late 19th century serial killer. Johnny Depp stars as a clairvoyant cop with Heather Graham as a feminist organizing damsels in distress.
On the Line (Oct. 19) — Soulmate stalker. *NSync’s Lance Bass and Joey Fatone crossover to feature films in a love-at-first-sight comedy about a guy desperately trying to track down the sexy stranger he met only once, briefly on the subway.
Riding in Cars with Boys (Oct. 19) — An inspirational true story with Drew Barrymore starring as a 15-year-old unwed mother who goes from welfare to college to pursue her writing dreams.
Bones (Oct. 24) — Ghost ‘N’ the Hood. A horror flick with rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg as a disemboweled gunshot victim who returns to the ghetto 20 years later as an avenging disembodied spirit. With Pam Grier as a psychic girlfriend.
Heist (Oct. 26) — David Mamet directs Gene Hackman in the umpteenth "last big heist" crime drama allotted to an aging star. With Delroy Lindo, Danny DeVito and Patti LuPone.
K-Pax (Oct. 26) — Crackpot from another planet. Sci-fi saga with Kevin Spacey as a misunderstood mental patient who insists he’s from another galaxy.
13 Ghosts (Oct. 26) — Remake of the 1960 William Castle classic with Shannon Elizabeth and Tony Shalhoub as heirs to a hopelessly haunted house with a hidden fortune.
Monsters, Inc. (Nov. 2) — A Disney animated comedy featuring the voices of Billy Crystal and John Goodman as a couple of cute, cuddly creatures, a purplish people-eater and a Cyclops who scares kids.
The One (Nov. 2) — Jet Li stars in Matrix-esque sci-fi flick about an intergalactic traveler who harnesses more powers by visiting parallel universes and killing himself in each one. Stop me before I reincarnate again.
Life as a House (Nov. 9) — Maudlin melodrama with Kevin Kline as a terminally ill man who takes custody of his prostitute teen-age son and reconciles with his ex-wife to build the dream house they’ve never had.
Shallow Hal (Nov. 9) — A Farrelly Brothers gross-out comedy with manic Jack Black as a rich playboy reformed by a hypnotizing Tony Robbins into appreciating the inner beauty of an overweight woman played by twiggy Gwyneth Paltrow.
Windtalkers (Nov. 9) — Geronimo Gibberish. Nicholas Cage and Christian Slater head the ensemble cast in a John Woo historical saga about Navajo soldiers whose secret language befuddled Japanese code-breakers during WWII. Big bomb headed for Hiroshima, Kemosabe.
The New Guy (Nov. 16) — The only film with the guts to open on the same day as Harry Potter, a teen comedy about an uncool zero in need of a new image, who switches to a cross-town high school for a new lease on social life.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Nov. 16) — An action-adventure adaptation of the J.K. Rowling best-seller about an orphan who, with the help of a giant named Hagrid, escapes his evil abusive aunt and uncle by boarding at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The review-proof runaway hit of the fall.