East Windsor resident David Shore recently published a book stressing the importance of parental involvement in a child’s life.
By: Scott Morgan
Picture this: Your 9-year-old daughter has just logged off from the Internet and she happily mentions she’s found a new friend. Is there cause for concern?
Maybe, maybe not. But according to family and educational psychologist and local author, Kenneth Shore, the solution is simple: ask questions.
For Dr. Shore, a resident of East Windsor, there is no substitute for parental involvement in a child’s life. The key to keeping children out of harm’s way, he said, rely on parents’ knowledge of what to look for and what to do regarding their children’s interaction with the world around them.
"Parents need to assume primary responsibility for protecting their children. Safeguarding children is not best left to others," Dr. Shore said.
Dr. Shore’s desire to help parents safeguard their children was a major reason behind his latest book, "Keeping Kids Safe." The book, the fourth for Dr. Shore, is designed to allow parents to find information to help their children through problems in a more organized way.
"This book is not intended to be read all at once," Dr. Shore said. Rather, it is designed to be referred to on an as-needed basis. The book’s 11 chapters are broken into quick reference sectionsa series of elaborated lists, as Dr. Shore referred to themgeared toward helping parents deal with situations ranging from finding secure child care to preventing teen suicide as they arise.
But rather than being a reactionary tone, Dr. Shore said "Keeping Kids Safe" is more an ounce of prevention. The aim is to provide help to parents before they really need it.
Dr. Shore maintains the world is not an especially dangerous place. But those who believe there is no cause for precaution are missing the point.
"Certainly there are risks children face and issues parents need to be aware of," he said, but added there is no real reason to believe in the world as "a terrifying place."
"Keeping Kids Safe" does examine the more extreme end of parental worries, such as suicide or gun violence, but Dr. Shore insists that though most parents do not face these issues, every parent should be aware that it could happen. Burying your head in the sand, he said, is not the way to protect your children.
Most of the book, however, deals with everyday issues parents and children face, such as bullies or talking to strangers on-line. In fact, Dr. Shore said on-line safety was the most interesting and pertinent part of his research, given the size and scope of the Internet. And though he defends the Internet as a wonderful tool for learning and knowledge, he also offers a caveat: predators.
Sexual predators are notoriously adept at using the Internet to find their prey, Dr. Shore said. The problem is that parents and children often do not know what to do when they receive unsolicited messages from strangers on-line.
According to his book, one in four children receive some sort of sexual advance on-line, and, too often, they grow scared and suspicious of the Internet and the world in general.
Dr. Shore’s advice to parents: know all about what and who their kids encounter while on the Internet. "Parents need to teach their children not to provide personal information on-line," Dr. Shore said.
Dr. Shore said parents should exercise some controls over what their children are exposed to. There are plenty of family-oriented web sites and family-friendly Internet service providers, as well as a host of filters to keep children away from inappropriate material, he said.
Despite what Dr. Shore refers to as the "scary stuff," he maintains the best medicine is the involved kind. And while he understands the difficult juggling act that is parentinghe has two grown daughtershe steadfastly believes there is no substitute.
"Parents are in the best position for protecting children," he said. "They are their kids’ most important influence."

