Local minister says to be honest with feelings and draw on spiritual resources.
By: Mark Moffa
As millions of Americans try to cope with the tragic events of last week, many are choosing to turn to spiritual or mental health advisors for help.
The Rev. Stephen Heinzel-Nelson of the Allentown Presbyterian Church spoke Friday of ways people can deal with the grief.
He said it is important for people to be open and honest with their feelings, to draw on spiritual resources, to find a tangible way to help, and to join with others in expressing sorrow.
"Everybody is talking about it all the time and that’s good, that’s healthy," he said. "It kind of strikes at this deep, spiritual place in our heart."
The Rev. Heinzel-Nelson said one of the best places for spiritual help is the book of Psalms.
"I personally find great comfort in reading those great, ancient Psalms," he said. "They are incredible places to find help."
He said a feeling of helplessness has gripped many people unnecessarily.
"You may not be able to go up there to sift through rubble but there are things you can do," he said.
The Rev. Heinzel-Nelson said people have collected supplies, given blood, or donated money.
The minister offered his answer to the oft-asked question of how God could allow something like this to happen: "I don’t know."
"There is something about evil that is mysterious and elusive and simply defies explanation," he said. "Anyone who says they have an answer to that question I don’t think is being totally honest."
He added, though, that God’s work is visible in the efforts of the millions of people worldwide who have offered assistance.
"You can see the presence of God in people helping and coming together," he said.
The minister then explained how spiritual people could reconcile their need for peace with their want for retaliation. He said people should not seek retaliation, but should strive for justice.
"If there is no justice there can be no real peace," he said. "The call for justice for people who have demonstrated evil certainly is a very important part of moving toward a true peace."
Lastly, the Rev. Heinzel-Nelson said parents trying to figure out how to address the issue with their children should devote extra time to talking with their kids, without smothering them.
A child’s basic need is for security and safety, he said. "Even small children know that something terrible has happened.
"Be attentive to your children. Hold them. Tell them you love them," he said.
For adults trying to contend with the disaster, Dr. Christopher Dooley of Millstone is offering his services regardless of ability to pay.
Dr. Dooley is a psychologist, psycho-spiritual counselor and director of The Holistic Life Center on Route 130 South in East Windsor.
He said many people are dealing with their deepest fears right now: a loss of control and a feeling of helplessness.
"They need to get with people they trust, people they know they can express their feelings to," he said. "We’re all angry. We’re all grieving. We’re all upset. It’s just been a horrific, horrific event.
"It’s going to be a long grieving process," he added. "It’s going to be days and weeks before people give up any hope (of finding loved ones alive)."
The Holistic Life Center offers counseling or therapy for anyone, including friends or family of the deceased or survivors of the tragedy. Dr. Dooley said his center has services such as yoga, tai chi, massage therapy, and spiritual counseling.
The center also is accepting donations of items for the relief effort in New York City. For more information on the items needed, call (609) 448-7727.

