Relating to the Dark

The Winter Film Series at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Princeton explores the many relationships people encounter throughout life.

By: Ilene Dube
   In the spare but elegant film You Can Count on Me, a priest tries to help an orphaned brother and sister through the emotional turbulence of their adult lives. In a pivotal scene in the Sundance 2000 Grand Jury-Prize winner, the following dialogue ensues:
   "You’re not going to find what you’re looking for the way you’re looking for it," the priest
says to Terry (Mark Ruffalo), who has spent his adult life drifting from Alaska to Florida, picking up construction
jobs, instigating fights, landing in jail.
   "I’m really not here to get you to do anything or to get you to try to believe in anything,"
he tells Terry, who has made it clear he is a non-believer.

A Unitarian minister will be screening You Can Count on Me, starring Matthew Broderick and Laura Linney, Feb. 22 as part of the Winter Film Series at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Princeton.

   Terry’s sister, Sammy (Laura Linney), lives a respectable life in the home that once belonged
to their parents in a small town in upstate New York, raising her 8-year-old son, Rudy (Rory Culkin), single-handedly
and successfully. A church-goer, she has asked the priest — played by director Kenneth Lonergan —
to have this talk with Terry.
   "A lot of people come to see me with all kinds of problems… drugs, alcohol, sex, marital
problems," says the priest. "Even in this little town I really feel like what I do is very connected with the
center of people’s lives. I’m not saying I’m always effective, but I don’t feel like my life is off to the
side of what’s important. I don’t feel that my happiness and comfort is dependent on closing my eyes to trouble
in myself and other people."
   The priest is trying to help Terry feel that he, too, is important and connected. "A lot
of what you say has real appeal to me," says Terry. "But I want to believe in something because it’s true."
   The clergyman responds: "Isn’t there any way for you to believe that without calling it God
or religion or whatever term you object to?"
   This priest could be a Unitarian minister.
   Not uncoincidentally, a Unitarian minister will be screening You Can Count on Me Feb.
22 as part of the Winter Film Series at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Princeton.
   The free program is not about sitting alone in the dark poking with your pinky at the Goobers
stuck to your molars, your feet glued to the floor from dried soda. If the Lonergan dialogue sounds earnest,
it is. The theme of the film series is "relationships."
   The Rev. Paul Johnson prepares a program providing context for each film and gives an introduction
including the background of the filmmakers and what life experiences led to the making of the film. After the
movie, viewers are invited to stay for discussion.
   Henry Nelson Wieman (1884-1975), a Unitarian Universalist philosopher, espoused that "creative
interchange is the source of human good." To that end, the Rev. Johnson wants to "engender a process of creative
interaction, with people sharing their individual projections on the story. It is enriching and leads to further
understanding of each other."
   The series is open to the general public and can serve as an introduction to the Unitarian
Universalist principles: The inherent worth and dignity of every person; justice, equity and compassion in
human relations; and respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
   This is the fourth year of the film series. Past films have included Luchino Visconti’s The
Stranger, A Man for All Seasons, a Francois Truffaut film series and, last fall, a Chinese film
smorgasbord. The series on relationships includes Divided We Fall (screened Feb. 8), The Croupier
and The Decalogue IV: Honor Thy Father and Mother.

In The Croupier, London’s gambling world is the setting where aspiring writer Jack Manfred (Clive Owen, above) takes a job as a croupier to support his art.

   The Rev. Johnson selects films that many may have missed at local cinemas showing independent
and foreign films, or films he has read about that haven’t played in the area. He viewed 15 films to select
the current series.
   Divided We Fall was selected because the story, about a Czech couple who harbor a
young Jewish man during the Nazi occupation, demonstrates that human behavior cannot be reduced to a "Manichaean
struggle," says the Rev. Johnson. Manichaeism is an ancient dualist belief system based on the separation of
good and evil.
   "There are good and evil in all these personalities in ‘Divided We Fall,’ " says the Rev.
Johnson. "I thought it was a different sort of World War II/Holocaust film; it opened things up for me in terms
of people relating to each other. There are so many interesting relationships, such as that of the Czechs after
the war to those who are vanquished… these will make for an interesting discussion of religious and philosophical
themes, ethical issues, issues of meaning and faith.
   "I enjoy the conversation part of it. Getting other people’s viewpoints is enriching to me,"
he says. During the Chinese film series, for example, several attendees who understood aspects of Chinese communism
and Taoism helped elucidate those less familiar with the culture.
   "Looking at these films, you can take a slice of life and go in different directions with
it, applying meaning to your own life," says the Rev. Johnson. " ‘You Can Count on Me’ shows how people use
the power of religious authority to triangle against someone else. Sammy wanted her brother to settle down
and not be a wanderer, to challenge his violence, and she enlisted the help of a clergy person. It is interesting
how Terry was forced into dialogue against his will. Maybe in the future he’ll hark back on it. The film isn’t
wrapped up in ‘they lived happily ever after.’ It leaves open all kinds of possibilities."
   The scene is not foreign to the Rev. Johnson, who has often been asked to "triangle" in a
relationship. " ‘Can you fix my friend?’ ‘Can you change my husband/wife?’ Generally I’ll say, ‘You’re dragging
someone against their will and it’s not always helpful.’ " He recites the proverb: "A man convinced against
his will is of the same opinion still."
   "Particularly with alcohol or drug addictions, a person can be reticent to talk with someone
who will challenge their relationship with the chemical," says the Rev. Johnson. "But sometimes something may
come of it when a person is brought against his will. If I can help a family get through how this is affecting
the relationship, then I may see positive responses."
The Winter Film Series at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Princeton, 50 Cherry Hill Road,
Princeton, continues Fridays through March 1 with screenings at 9:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Feb. 15: The Croupier
— London’s gambling world is the setting for this complex thriller, where aspiring writer Jack Manfred
takes a job as a croupier to support his art. He is adamant about remaining a professional outsider, but the
temptations of the gaming world draw him in more than he could have anticipated. Feb. 22: You Can Count
on Me — This Kenneth Lonergan film tells the story of the complex relationship of a grown-up mother
and her brother as they confront their significantly different individual choices. March 1: The Decalogue
IV: Honor Thy Father and Mother — One in a 10-part series by Polish director Krzyoztof Kieslowski,
a young woman discovers a sealed envelope in her father’s room that is marked "not to be opened before my death."
Anka opens it and ushers in a complicated new relationship with her father. For information, call (609) 924-1604.