A year later

World Trade Center victims

By sue m. morgan
Staff Writer

World Trade Center victims’ families speak out
Special occasions like
birthdays and holidays
are especially difficult to face
By sue m. morgan
Staff Writer


Chuck CostelloChuck Costello

As she sits on her Old Bridge home’s nearly completed covered front porch, Mary Costello knows in her heart that her late husband, Chuck, would like the newest improvement.

A covered front porch is an oddity on any home in Sayre Woods South, Mary explained. Yet, that did not stop Chuck from wanting to construct one.

"This is his porch," Mary said.

Although it is almost a year since Chuck, 46, died as a result of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, Mary believes that in spirit, he is on that porch with her.


Bobby HughesBobby Hughes

"He’s here. He’s around and keeps me going," she said.

An American flag that previously flew over the Capitol in Washington, D.C., graces the new porch. Mary knows that Chuck would like that. Carrying out his wishes helps to ease her pain, she said.

"Those are the little things I do that keep me sane," she said.

Day to day though, it hasn’t been easy.

"It doesn’t seem real yet," she said.

Mary hopes she and the four Costello children, Amanda, 20; Theresa, 17; Mary Kate, 11; and Charlie, 7, will get through the month of September emotionally.

"Everything is different," Mary said.

Thankfully, the children got through the previous school year successfully and looked forward to returning to classes. Theresa is a senior at Old Bridge High School; Mary Kate is a sixth-grader at Salk Middle School; and Charlie is in second grade at Shepard School, Mary said.

Meanwhile, Amanda, who moved home temporarily after her father’s death, is a junior at Marymount Manhattan College. She recently moved into an apartment in Queens, N.Y., Mary noted.

On business in lower Manhattan that horrific Tuesday morning, Costello, an elevator technician, and a co-worker happened to be passing by the burning twin towers. Apparently believing that he might be able to assist with rescue efforts, Costello ran inside of his own free will. His co-worker reportedly last saw him alive as he disappeared into the flaming south tower.

When Chuck’s birthday, Feb. 24, rolled around, Charlie urged Mary to recognize the day just the same.

"The little one said, ‘You have to do something special,’ " Mary recalled.

The family hiked through Cheesequake Park that day, an activity Chuck would have enjoyed.

"It’s hard because [he’s] not here," Mary said.

Chuck sang in the folk group and taught religious education at nearby St. Ambrose Church. An ardent member of the Friendly Sons of the Shillelagh, he also coached girls’ soccer.

One of two soccer fields on Higgins Road was named in Chuck’s honor this past spring.

The other soccer field was named for Mark Shulman, another soccer coach, who also died in the attacks.

While Shulman might not have been physically present at older daughter Melissa’s high school graduation or for younger daughter Jamie’s bat mitzvah, his widow, Lori, believes that in a spiritual way, he was at both events and shares her pride in the girls’ accomplishments.

"I feel his presence," Lori said.

Anniversaries, birthdays and other rites of passage have tested Lori’s strength. However, she has persevered.

"You just get through it," Lori said.

This year, Dec. 24 would have been Mark and Lori’s 25th wedding anniversary. Last year, Mark’s remains were found at Ground Zero on that day.

Shulman, 47, was a vice president of risk consulting at Marsh & McLennan on the 100th floor of the north tower. However, coaching girls’ soccer was his passion, his associates have said.

Lori admires Jamie’s resolve in continuing to play soccer all year, especially this past summer. Yet even though she enjoys watching Jamie play, she sometimes finds it difficult to be on the fields where Mark once coached.

"I have trouble being there," Lori said. "Maybe she [Jamie] feels him there."

Soon after Mark’s death, Melissa was named valedictorian of the Old Bridge High School class of 2002. She also earned early acceptance to Princeton University, fulfilling two of her dreams.

"Those were the most significant milestones," Lori said.

Melissa left for Princeton over the Labor Day weekend, her mother said. Beyond that, Lori is not planning beyond the foreseeable future.

"I take it day by day. I try not to think long range," Lori said.

Having heard of Old Bridge’s plans for an evening memorial service to be held on the Laurence Harbor beachfront, Lori expressed an interest in attending. A service in her home community might be more healing than those planned in lower Manhattan or at Liberty State Park in Jersey City. Simply put, she would prefer a quieter, less-crowded ceremony.

"I’m not going into the city," Lori said. "I just want it quiet."

Two Sayreville mothers, who lost promising young adult children in the attacks, continue to wonder what those children could have become. Empty chairs that sit at the tables of those families’ gatherings symbolize the emptiness and incredible loss both mothers feel.

"Every occasion that is supposed to be happy isn’t," said Louise Hughes. Her son, Robert Jr., 23, an aspiring stockbroker, worked as a margins clerk for the Bank of America on the 84th floor of One World Trade Center.

"He wasn’t sick. He was perfectly healthy," Louise said describing her shock.

Robert, better known as "Bobby," was a December 2000 graduate of Montclair State University. Just starting his professional career, Bobby enjoyed working at the World Trade Center, and his family was proud.

Now the Hughes family remains angered, frustrated and saddened by the circumstances surrounding Robert’s death as well as the attacks themselves.

"He didn’t deserve it. The people responsible for this [the attacks] need to be punished," Louise said.

"There’s not a thing anybody can do to make me feel better," Louise said. "I just want him back."

Louise and Bobby’s father, Robert Sr., have three daughters: Shanin, 22; Leigha, 21; and Lyndsey, 15. Support groups and counseling geared toward surviving family members of attack victims are a way of life now.

Still, many people just do not understand the pain of losing your child, Louise said.

"It’s your flesh and blood," she said.

Most appalling, Louise notes, are the comments made by some, implying that she and her family should have recovered and "moved on" by this point.

Other people have even asked Louise if she will receive any financial compensation in connection to Bobby’s death.

"I can’t believe people have had the nerve to ask, ‘Are you going to get any money out of this?’ " she said.

"I don’t want anything," Louise said firmly. "I just want my son to walk through that door."

What some people do not understand is that the pain never goes away, Louise pointed out.

"Everyone’s life is moving on," Louise said, "(but) not ours."

Funeral director Carmen Spezzi of Sayreville’s Parlin section, who arranged Bobby’s funeral, has remained in continuous contact with the family, Louise said. Over 2,000 persons attended the funeral for the former baseball and soccer player at Sayreville War Memorial High School.

Councilman Thomas Marcinczyk has remained in touch with the Hughes family, continually offering support and understanding, Louise said.

Several Bank of America employees have told Louise that as the company was evacuating the burning north tower, Bobby and a co-worker stopped to assist a woman who had become disoriented. Despite the risk, Bobby would not have left anyone behind, his mother said.

"He was such a good kid," Louise said.

As the anniversary approached, Louise Hughes said she hopes that others, though not suffering the same loss, will at least try to understand and not neglect her.

"I’m very angry," she said. "I think I speak for a lot of people."

Like Bobby, Judy Fernandez, 27, was also a Sayreville War Memorial high school graduate.

After coming to the United States from the Philippines with her family in 1976, Judy grew up in Sayreville and ran cross country and track while in high school.

She later went on to attend Rutgers University in New Brunswick.

In a sad twist of fate, Judy had reportedly gone into work that day against her mother’s advice to finish up some paperwork before leaving for a business trip later that day.

As with the Hughes family, Cora Fernandez, Judy’s mother, says her family cannot just forget their loss and move on. "The emotional impact is still there," Cora said. "We just can’t forget the whole thing."

Equally affected are Judy’s older siblings, Richard, 36, of Harleysville, Pa., and Emma, 34, of Philadelphia, Cora said.

In fact, Richard has told his mother he still misses his daily conversations with his younger sister.

"There was never a day that they didn’t talk," Cora said.

Other relatives have helped the family by visiting as well. On Aug. 11, the family held a memorial at the home. Cora said that talking about their feelings of loss with other relatives provides an outlet.

"It’s very emotional," she said.

"On Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, we looked at the empty chair," said Cora.

"[We] saw her sitting there when we opened our gifts," Cora recalled.

"It’s hard to think about the loss of a young life," she said.

Judy would have turned 28 on Jan. 6. Once again, an empty chair sat at the table.

"It’s hard to believe she’s gone," Cora said.

Many times since Sept. 11, the home occupied by Cora and her husband Cy, Judy’s father, has been filled with flowers. Cora appreciates all the gifts that friends, neighbors and members of the community have bestowed on them. The family has been honored by the borough and by a local chapter of the Knights of Columbus.

Most of all she appreciates their thoughts and prayers.

"We hope that people continue to pray for us," she said.