GUEST OPINION, Feb. 28
By: Dawn Cariello
The Princeton Borough Council recently approved a resolution urging President Bush and the Congress to exhaust all diplomatic means before initiating military efforts to disarm Iraq. Some residents are upset that the council is delving into areas that don’t affect the day-to-day management of the borough. Others counter that war concerns everyone and is within the council’s authority to hold this vote. The bigger issue is: If Princeton Borough can go macro, what happens if the international community goes micro?
Washington, D.C.: President Bush announced that the Princeton parking garage project will proceed, regardless of widespread opposition to the plan. Dismissing anti-garage protests, Bush said, "I’m not going to decide policy based upon a focus group. A leader needs to lead." Bush later added, "With or without UN approval, that parking garage will be built. You’re either with us or against us."
Baghdad: Speaking during an Iraqi television interview, Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz claimed that President Bush’s decision to build the parking garage is motivated by a personal vendetta. Aziz charged that this issue is the result of a long-held grudge that Bush has against Princeton. During Bush’s senior year in college, he was reportedly detained by Princeton police after leading an attempt to remove the football goal posts at Princeton following a Yale victory.
London: Prime Minister Tony Blair reiterated his support for President Bush and his desire to forge ahead with construction of the Princeton parking garage. Polls show that the British people are overwhelming against the garage and Blair’s alliance with Bush in this matter has resulted in his popularity plummeting. Blair has remained steadfast in his belief that parking appeasement will not work. According to the Prime Minister, "Building the garage has its risks but not building it has even greater risks."
Princeton: Actor Sean Penn arrived in Princeton today to learn firsthand about the parking garage situation.
Paris: Jacques Chirac announced that France would veto any resolution by the United Nations that authorizes the construction of a new parking garage in Princeton. Chirac stated that the current parking situation is working and should be given more time. Construction should be used only as a last resort. He was joined by German Chancellor Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, who won re-election on an anti-Princeton Parking Garage platform.
Additionally, Chirac, in an apparent attempt to re-establish France’s leadership role in the international community, proposed that the temporary public library facilities at the Princeton Shopping center should be made permanent.
Washington D.C.: At a press conference today, Donald Rumsfeld categorized those who oppose the parking garage as "Old Princeton."
Ankara: The Turkish Government announced that, in exchange for receiving a $15 billion grant/loan package, residents of Princeton could park anywhere they want in Turkey.
United Nations: In a document submitted to members of the Security Council, Hans Blix reported that a team of UN inspectors attempted to enter Princeton to research the garage situation. After circling the area for almost hour, the visit was called off when the inspectors were unable to find a parking spot.

