More Than a Game

James Mastrich hopes his book will help coaches and parents instill a sense of integrity and honor in their sons.

By: Jim Boyle
   On May 1, following Boston’s 110-90 series- clinching victory over Indiana, news cameras captured Pacer Ron Artest as he walked back to the locker room, pushing people out of his way and yelling at them. The outburst capped off a tumultuous season for the 6-foot-7 forward, including thrown television monitors, multiple ejections and brawls on and off the court.
   On April 28, moments before Game 4 of the Portland-Dallas playoff series, 13-year-old Natalie Gilbert started to sing the national anthem. Unfortunately, she froze on national television and forgot the words in front of a sold-out crowd. The embarrassing moment instantly became a memorable one when Trail Blazer coach and former Philadelphia 76er Maurice Cheeks walked up, put his arm around Natalie and proceeded to sing along with her, despite the fact he is obviously not a vocalist.
   There are countless examples in all levels of sports of players and coaches displaying good and bad behavior. With his book Really Winning (St. Martin’s Press, $23.95), James Mastrich hopes that more coaches will display the qualities of Mr. Cheeks and help prevent players from developing a personality like Mr. Artest’s.
   "There seems to be a lack of integrity in most athletes," says Mr. Mastrich. "As athletes progress in the system, with every level their skills increase, but there’s also a decreasing sense of responsibility."
   Born in Connecticut, the Lambertville resident has lived in New Jersey since his school days, earning his master’s at The College of New Jersey (then Trenton State College) and doctorate at Rutgers University. His initial specialty was drug and alcohol abuse counseling, but he later shifted to sports and optimal performance psychology. However, only about 30 percent of the patients he sees at his Kingston practice are athletes.
   "That’s a happy percentage," he says. "Any more and it would be too many. The principals I talk about are applicable everywhere, not just sports.
   "I got into it years ago because I was amazed how irresponsible and disrespectful some male athletes have become. I started to do some research for the book, and within two weeks of flipping through ‘The New York Times’ and ‘The Star-Ledger,’ I had an astounding compilation of stories about what some jerk athlete did."
   The focus of his book rests squarely on the development of boys. Despite the concentration on the male gender, Mr. Mastrich wants to make one thing abundantly clear. He doesn’t have anything against women. He’s grateful for the progress that’s been made, such as the creation of Title IX, a resolution passed in 1972 that banned sexual discrimination in schools for both athletics and academics.
   "I don’t have a problem with girls," he says. "I like girls. I married a girl. I wanted to focus on helping our boys. We’ve spent years on helping our girls along. With things like Title IX, we’ve freed up a lot of constraints on girls. Now we need to do the same for the boys."
   In a world of multi-million-dollar contracts and shoe endorsements, it may initially seem unbelievable that there is anything holding back male athletes. Mr. Mastrich uses his own patients (names changed, of course) to show that simply isn’t the case.
   John, for instance, was a hard-working high school wrestler. He had the skills, techniques and work ethic to be successful, but his performances, at best, were mediocre. The same phenomenon carried over in his academic and personal life. Through conversations with John, Mr. Mastrich discovered John was working hard to please everybody’s expectations, instead of working to satisfy his own goals.
   "He was a wreck at first," says Mr. Mastrich. "But we worked through it and he began to perform solidly. He even made the dean’s list a couple times, a concept that was inconceivable to him."
   He goes on to list a few other examples of boys and men struggling to prove themselves. There’s the high school football player who thinks he’s better than the rest of the team, so he doesn’t have to practice as much or work as hard; the 55-year-old who is too passive aggressive to confront his troubled marriage and instead sleeps around; and there’s the 8-year-old wrestler whose father overworks him to the point of starvation so he’ll stay in a certain weight class.
   The solutions to situations like these may seem obvious to some, yet many parents and coaches struggle for the right methods to deal with them. Mr. Mastrich takes a common-sense approach to the development of a boy’s psyche. He advises parents to do things like make sure it’s the child’s choice to participate in sports, attend practices and practice the sport at home and give the proper balance of humility and encouragement. For coaches, he suggests that they give the younger players equal playing time, emphasize striving to win over just winning and follow through with commitments made to the players.
   "Youth sports is a great avenue for kids to be part of a team," he says. "Some are naturally gifted, while others are late bloomers. If a coach is hostile and verbally abusive to a kid not doing as well, he’s going to turn him off to sports before he has a chance to bloom."
   Overall, Mr. Mastrich wants everybody to set a good example. He tries to employ the values and lessons he professes in his own role as a father and coach for his sons Zachary, 8, and Devin, 5.
   "Two years ago I was coaching my son’s soccer team," Mr. Mastrich says. "It was obvious our team was better, and by halftime the score was 3-1. I knew if I let the horses loose, it would have been embarrassing for the other team. Instead, I told our team that only one of our players was allowed to shoot the ball. Everybody else could only pass. The kids loved it. It became a game within a game. We were able to work on our passing skills, I avoided teaching them to be complacent or passive, and we didn’t demoralize the other team."
Really Winning by James Mastrich is available at bookstores. His office is located at 4475 Route 27, Kingston. For information, call (609) 921-3665. On the Web: www.drjimmastrich.com