More Than a Game

James Mastrich hopes his book will help coaches and parents instill a sense of integrity and honor in their sons.

By: Jim Boyle

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   On May 1, following Boston’s 110-90 series- clinching victory
over Indiana, news cameras captured Pacer Ron Artest as he walked back to the
locker room, pushing people out of his way and yelling at them. The outburst capped
off a tumultuous season for the 6-foot-7 forward, including thrown television
monitors, multiple ejections and brawls on and off the court.
   On April 28, moments before Game 4 of the Portland-Dallas playoff
series, 13-year-old Natalie Gilbert started to sing the national anthem. Unfortunately,
she froze on national television and forgot the words in front of a sold-out crowd.
The embarrassing moment instantly became a memorable one when Trail Blazer coach
and former Philadelphia 76er Maurice Cheeks walked up, put his arm around Natalie
and proceeded to sing along with her, despite the fact he is obviously not a vocalist.
   There are countless examples in all levels of sports of players
and coaches displaying good and bad behavior. With his book Really Winning
(St. Martin’s Press, $23.95), James Mastrich hopes that more coaches will
display the qualities of Mr. Cheeks and help prevent players from developing a
personality like Mr. Artest’s.
   "There seems to be a lack of integrity in most athletes," says
Mr. Mastrich. "As athletes progress in the system, with every level their skills
increase, but there’s also a decreasing sense of responsibility."
   Born in Connecticut, the Lambertville resident has lived in
New Jersey since his school days, earning his master’s at The College of New Jersey
(then Trenton State College) and doctorate at Rutgers University. His initial
specialty was drug and alcohol abuse counseling, but he later shifted to sports
and optimal performance psychology. However, only about 30 percent of the patients
he sees at his Kingston practice are athletes.
   "That’s a happy percentage," he says. "Any more and it would
be too many. The principals I talk about are applicable everywhere, not just sports.
   "I got into it years ago because I was amazed how irresponsible
and disrespectful some male athletes have become. I started to do some research
for the book, and within two weeks of flipping through ‘The New York Times’ and
‘The Star-Ledger,’ I had an astounding compilation of stories about what some
jerk athlete did."
   The focus of his book rests squarely on the development of boys.
Despite the concentration on the male gender, Mr. Mastrich wants to make one thing
abundantly clear. He doesn’t have anything against women. He’s grateful for the
progress that’s been made, such as the creation of Title IX, a resolution passed
in 1972 that banned sexual discrimination in schools for both athletics and academics.
   "I don’t have a problem with girls," he says. "I like girls.
I married a girl. I wanted to focus on helping our boys. We’ve spent years on
helping our girls along. With things like Title IX, we’ve freed up a lot of constraints
on girls. Now we need to do the same for the boys."
   In a world of multi-million-dollar contracts and shoe endorsements,
it may initially seem unbelievable that there is anything holding back male athletes.
Mr. Mastrich uses his own patients (names changed, of course) to show that simply
isn’t the case.
   John, for instance, was a hard-working high school wrestler.
He had the skills, techniques and work ethic to be successful, but his performances,
at best, were mediocre. The same phenomenon carried over in his academic and personal
life. Through conversations with John, Mr. Mastrich discovered John was working
hard to please everybody’s expectations, instead of working to satisfy his own
goals.
   "He was a wreck at first," says Mr. Mastrich. "But we worked
through it and he began to perform solidly. He even made the dean’s list a couple
times, a concept that was inconceivable to him."
   He goes on to list a few other examples of boys and men struggling
to prove themselves. There’s the high school football player who thinks he’s better
than the rest of the team, so he doesn’t have to practice as much or work as hard;
the 55-year-old who is too passive aggressive to confront his troubled marriage
and instead sleeps around; and there’s the 8-year-old wrestler whose father overworks
him to the point of starvation so he’ll stay in a certain weight class.
   The solutions to situations like these may seem obvious to some,
yet many parents and coaches struggle for the right methods to deal with them.
Mr. Mastrich takes a common-sense approach to the development of a boy’s psyche.
He advises parents to do things like make sure it’s the child’s choice to participate
in sports, attend practices and practice the sport at home and give the proper
balance of humility and encouragement. For coaches, he suggests that they give
the younger players equal playing time, emphasize striving to win over just winning
and follow through with commitments made to the players.
   "Youth sports is a great avenue for kids to be part of a team,"
he says. "Some are naturally gifted, while others are late bloomers. If a coach
is hostile and verbally abusive to a kid not doing as well, he’s going to turn
him off to sports before he has a chance to bloom."
   Overall, Mr. Mastrich wants everybody to set a good example.
He tries to employ the values and lessons he professes in his own role as a father
and coach for his sons Zachary, 8, and Devin, 5.
   "Two years ago I was coaching my son’s soccer team," Mr. Mastrich
says. "It was obvious our team was better, and by halftime the score was 3-1.
I knew if I let the horses loose, it would have been embarrassing for the other
team. Instead, I told our team that only one of our players was allowed to shoot
the ball. Everybody else could only pass. The kids loved it. It became a game
within a game. We were able to work on our passing skills, I avoided teaching
them to be complacent or passive, and we didn’t demoralize the other team."
Really Winning by James Mastrich is available at bookstores. His office
is located at 4475 Route 27, Kingston. For information, call (609) 921-3665. On
the Web: www.drjimmastrich.com.