Taking aim at a new herd of trouble

GUEST OPINION, May 20

By: Michael Hamilton
   PRINCETON TOWNSHIP — The firm hired to reduce the number of deer here will begin a squirrel harvest this weekend, according to Mayor Phyllis Marchand. This is the first community in New Jersey to use the new method — baiting squirrels with acorns and then racing after them with butterfly nets.
   Princeton Township is the only community in New Jersey that pays professional squirrel-chasers with butterfly nets to catch squirrels by night and day. The township hired Connecticut-based White Buffalo to thin the squirrel herd, estimated to be between 1 to 3 billion.
   White Buffalo President Tony DeNicola said he is pleased to be back in Princeton for another kill.
   "We’re running out of deer but they (the township) still have more money left so we have moved on to squirrels," he said. "This is a much better business, they are more difficult to catch and count, and we feel that we could be here milking the township for maybe another eight to 10 years. Quite frankly, we’re making a killing here."
   Mr. DeNicola estimated that 200,000 to 300,000 squirrels could be netted per year in the township.
   "Ecologically speaking, squirrels are responsible for many accidents and they annoy the poodles in town," he said. "They breed bacteria that is particularly harmful to expensive hedges and ornamental shrubbery. They have ‘acorn breath’ and are a very aggressive species. It is a good thing that we are here with our squirrel-chasing professionals."
   Local food banks, however, have drawn the line at accepting even more questionable meat from the township. According to Joe Queasy from the local food bank, "We still have 6 tons of venison left in our freezer and squirrel loaf has proven to be even less popular to our patrons. Why can’t they donate money like most people?"
   Officials say the squirrel hunt is necessary because squirrels are the only other ground-dwelling species left in the township and homeowners would like to see the town sterilized. Finance Administrator John Clawson said, "We considered having a squirrel shoot but White Buffalo said it would be too expensive since squirrels are hard to shoot and bolt. This time we were wise and contracted with them on a per-squirrel basis of $1 for each animal netted."
   When confronted with the estimated squirrel-thinning bill of between $1 billion to $3 billion over 10 years, Mr. Clawson responded, "We aren’t experts at estimating, I guess."
   Foes of the squirrel-management plan — mostly squirrel-welfare advocates led by the Mercer Squirrel Alliance — have vowed to fight the new squirrel-management program in court on the ground that it is just plain dumb.
   "Their case has very little meat to it," said Township Attorney Ed Schmierer. "The squirrel hunt is carried out under police supervision and with state approval. It is safe and effective and we are not dumb. In fact, our firm logged 2,800 billable hours with the deer hunt over the last two years and we feel that the squirrel hunt has the potential to be even more lucrative for our partners."
Michael Hamilton filed this report, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, from his Roosevelt home.