HEALTH MATTERS
By: Amy Levine
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"Caregivers may find that they tend to ignore their own needs in order to attend to the needs of others." Amy Levine, MSW, LCSW Program Coordinator, Senior Link Program Princeton House The Medical Center at Princeton |
No matter what your stage of life, the impact of taking care of a loved one, whether a parent, child or sibling, is enormous. For the vast majority of caregivers, this is not an easy position to be in, even when you are fully committed to making it work.
The relationship with this person may be altered significantly. As a result of such changes, you may be mourning the loss of certain aspects of that relationship. This loss may be accompanied by feelings of depression, anxiety, guilt, anger and/or resentment.
For both parties, there can be stress associated with the role change that has occurred and changing expectations that follow. This change may result in stress associated with simply spending more time together than you ever had before.
In short: Taking care of a loved can result in caregiver stress.
Isolation and the withdrawal from friends and activities can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. Often these feelings can result in the decreased desire to contact friends or engage in activities. Caregivers may find that they tend to ignore their own needs in order to attend to the needs of others.
The question then becomes, "Who is caring for the caregiver?" As caregiver, you have probably become adept at anticipating and meeting the needs of the person you are caring for. It may be difficult to identify your needs, but it is an important step in decreasing caregiver stress. Are your needs social, physical, emotional, spiritual or a combination? Once you identify your needs, take the next step: Learn to ask for help. Begin with identifying people in your life who can help.
Here are some suggestions:
Social needs are often the first thing that caregivers ignore.
If you feel that leaving the house is difficult, invite friends into the house. Ask a friend or family member to remain in the house for an hour or more to provide you some time alone or to participate in an activity outside the house. Time spent apart can give both you and your loved one a much-needed break. Identify activities that you and your loved one can do together. such as watching a favorite television show or movie or listening to music.
Physical needs include, but go beyond, the general state of your health. In addition to keeping your own medical appointments and maintaining good diet, sleep, and exercise regimens, write down a list of the additional physical demands on you. Are you responsible for shopping, errands, meal preparation, housekeeping, and yard maintenance? Do you find that you seem not to have the energy or time to handle it all?
Consider several people that can help with some of these responsibilities. For example, ask a friend or family member to assist with trips to the pharmacy or grocery store on a weekly basis. If mealtimes are difficult, invite a friend over for a few hours and prepare several meals that will take you through the week. If you need help with house or yard work, hire a local teenager or lawn service.
Emotional needs for some can be difficult to identify and acknowledge. Talk about your feelings. Identify a friend or a support group that you can meet with and talk to on a regular basis. If this does not relieve some of your stressful feelings, consider seeking professional help.
Your spiritual needs are unique to you. If you have lost sight of this area of your life, regardless of your beliefs and practices, consider reconnecting with a spiritual practice or developing a new one.
When faced with short- and long-term planning, include family members, friends, or professionals in the decision-making process. In short, use all your resources. Don’t do it alone.
There are local support groups and hospital community education programs that can help you meet your needs. For more information in Mercer County, you can contact the Mercer County Office on Aging at (609) 989-6661 or The Medical Center at Princeton’s Community Education Program at (609) 497-4480.
Combat caregiver stress by caring for yourself. You can begin by attending a free five-part series that addresses how to care for yourself while caring for a loved one.
Caring for You, Caring for Me
Date: June 4, 9, 12, 17, 19
Time: 10 a.m. to noon
Location: MCP Fitness & Wellness Center, Princeton North Shopping Center, Montgomery.
While you attend the program, your loved one can meet with other care recipients in an adjacent meeting room. This program is presented by The Senior Well Being Program of Greater Trenton Behavioral Health and sponsored by Princeton House.
Next week: The concept of respite.
Amy Levine, MSW, LCSW, is the program coordinator of the Senior Link Program at Princeton House, the behavioral health division of The Medical Center at Princeton. This article was prepared in collaboration with Lorraine Seabrook.

