J. Aden Lewis METUCHEN MUSINGS Before I share my main concern about this year’s Metuchen Winter Festival Parade, let me celebrate the parade’s highlights.
As always, the crowd was festive. The weather was perfect. There was soup and pretzels and cotton candy. Our Metuchen firefighters, especially one good-natured fellow with reddish-blond hair, waved with vigor and enthusiasm. Our ambulances looked polished and modern. And the red-cloaked Suzanne Nann, flanked by two United States Marines, offered insightful float-by-float commentary.
The parade also demonstrated the unwritten Metuchen law that every female under the age of 18 belongs to either a Girl Scout or dance troupe. Jack the Horse looked fabulous as he towed the Metuchen Savings Bank carriage (although one of his passengers, ironically, wearing a black cloak and top hat, was strangely reminiscent of the evil banker Mr. Potter in the film "It’s a Wonderful Life.")
Moreover, despite being surrounded by the peaceful towns of Edison and Woodbridge, our American Legion — proudly firing their rifles into the air — seemed ready to protect us from invasion. Both kids and adults wrestled over candy canes being thrown from floats.
Classic cars revved up their engines and our hearts. Our Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts walked tall. The Pee Wee footballers looked happy and healthy. With the exception of the spiritless Metuchen High School cheerleaders, who looked like they were marching to the dentist’s office, almost everybody seemed content to spend a sunny Sunday afternoon on Main Street.
Yet there are many ingredients in the melting pot that is Metuchen, and as Miss Merry Christmas 2003 drove by, a female friend of mine with whom I was watching the parade looked sad to me.
"What’s wrong?" I asked her.
"I could never be Miss Merry Christmas," she said.
"No kidding," I replied, "You’re a little too old."
"No," she said, "I could never have been Miss Merry Christmas."
"I don’t get it," I said.
"We don’t celebrate Christmas in my house."
Having never dreamed of becoming Miss Merry Christmas myself, I never considered how many of Metuchen’s youthful maidens might feel similar to my friend. I wondered: How many little Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, and agnostic Metuchen girls have yearned, in vain, to wear a winter crown and ride down Main Street in a convertible?
As a Metuchenite, I say one spurned girl is too many.
Thus, in honor of all that is great about Metuchen and in the spirit of the Winter Festival, I propose the elimination of the title Miss Merry Christmas. Instead, to celebrate the diversity of modern Metuchen, I suggest four possible renamings for this title: 1) Miss Happy Holidays, 2) Winter Princess, 3) Miss Metuchen Mistletoe, or 4) The Metuchen Snow Queen.
Despite my friend’s sad feelings, we agreed that when it comes to Metuchen’s Winter Festival Parade, the glass is nearly full.
Yet we also agreed that if our town would acknowledge that the Miss Merry Christmas title excludes too many Metuchenites, the glass could be filled to the brim.
J. Aden Lewis is a resident of Metuchen