as refuge for working moms
Group serves
as refuge for working moms
BY BRYAN SABELLA
Staff Writer
MIGUEL JUAREZ staff Metuchen mom Heather Jensen, the founder of Our Place, a group for young working mothers, kisses son Christopher, 9 months, when he wakes from his nap.
The American dream doesn’t come with a handbook. Sure, you can get married, have kids and buy a house. But if you’re young, how do you reconcile family life with the existence you knew that seems like only moments ago? How do you deal with the adjustment from footloose and fancy-free, to mortgages, day care and play dates?
Heather Jensen, like millions of other 20-something moms, deals on a daily basis with the issues of modern life that can run one ragged. And sometimes a sympathetic ear can do a world of good.
The 26-year-old Metuchen resident and full-time senior processor for ITT Avionics in Clifton saw a void and decided to fill it.
Our Place is a support group for young, working mothers — a chance to get together, socialize and empathize.
Jensen was moved to start the group not long ago. The mother of a 9-month-old, she found herself in the same position many young mothers do.
"I was 25," she said, "and most of my friends are single. I had nobody to socialize with."
And so she began looking for a peer group with which to share her experiences.
All she found, however, were groups for stay-at-home moms, groups that would meet in the afternoon on a weekday — no help if you’re in the workforce. Where was the place for someone like her?
So she took matters into her own hands.
Step one involved posting on message boards and Web sites for young moms.
The response was there, and roughly five months ago Our Place was born, a haven for young, working moms, and an outlet for the concerns and issues they face.
A godsend in many ways.
"We get together as mothers," Jensen said, "and discuss what we deal with."
The group currently has 11 members, and they meet biweekly, rotating between members’ homes.
There’s no fee, Jensen said, "but we do ask that whoever hosts provide food and beverage."
And while the moms get a chance to let their hair down and share their experiences, the children get to have their fun as well. Our Place also serves as a play group for the children.
When asked what some of the most common issues for working moms are, Jensen pointed to two.
"I think, the differences you have as a mother who’s working versus a father who’s working. We take on the bulk of the stuff; we work, and then come home and cook and clean," she said.
Also at issue is the loss of independence.
"The lack of freedom, the availability to go out. You have to deal with daycare and baby-sitting," Jensen said.
Our Place isn’t necessarily a gender-specific endeavor, however.
"It’s not a male-bashing group," Jensen said, adding, "We do also try to incorporate the whole family at times, because that’s important. This week, we’re having a family dinner."
Her husband, David, has been supportive.
"At first, he was a little skeptical," she said, "especially about meeting people on the Internet. And a lot of other husbands were too. They were dropping off their wives at the meetings at first."
For group member Michelle Coelho, 29, Our Place is unique in that it caters to younger mothers. She also found that many people her age aren’t married with children, and support groups for mothers tend to skew older. Connecting with one’s own age group can be rare.
"You lose that," she said, "and many women in other groups are 35-40 and older."
Jensen said the average age of the group members is between 25 and 30 years old, and most of the children are no older than four.
Coelho said the group has facilitated new friendships in more ways than one.
"We’re finding that a lot of people in the group are new to the area as well," she said.
And the group has a life outside the bi-weekly meetings.
"We’re always corresponding via e-mail and instant messaging," Jensen said.
If you’re a young mother in the area and interested in Our Place, you can contact Jensen at [email protected].