Domestic abuse brought to light

Lambertville is among the Hunterdon communities that will join in the national Communities of Light: Peace Begins at Home campaign Dec. 19.

By: Linda Seida
   On the outside, Anna S. looks a lot like you and your neighbors.
   She resides in affluent Hunterdon County with her family. She and her husband, a white-collar professional, live in a nice house with a couple of handsome children. They drive reliable cars and wear fashionable clothes. The children attend good schools.
   The picture made by Anna and her family might even cause a spurt of envy if you didn’t know about the deep shadows behind the nice picture.
   No one in Anna’s house is going hungry, at least for food. But Anna S. is starving for freedom and dignity.
   Anna — not her real name — might as well be living in chains. Her husband counts the miles she puts on the car, keeping track of where she goes. He demands to see an itemized grocery bill. He watches the minutes Anna uses on the phone the same way he watches each penny she spends.
   "That’s not living," said Bridget Rincon of Women’s Crisis Services of Hunterdon County. "It’s slavery."
   For Anna, there have been no physical bruises so far, only emotional ones and fear. But for other women just like Anna in Hunterdon County, beatings and bruises have become frequent companions.
   To dispel the darkness for survivors and bring awareness to the problem of domestic violence, Women’s Crisis Services is sponsoring the Communities of Light: Peace Begins at Home campaign Sunday.
   The campaign hopes to raise awareness of the issue of domestic violence and to raise funds for the programs and services Women’s Crisis Services provides.
   Sunday night, the agency and members of the community will light thousands of luminaries throughout the county and across several bridges, including Lambertville’s Main Street and across the New Hope-Lambertville bridge, as a display of support for survivors of domestic violence.
   Other domestic violence agencies in other counties also will participate. The goal is to light up the county with 22,000 luminaries, according to Ms. Rincon.
   "Why doesn’t she just leave?"
   That’s a question Ms. Rincon said people wonder all the time about victims like Anna and others who are beaten to the point of submission.
   "The biggest obstacle is making people aware that it does exist," Ms. Rincon said of domestic violence.
   It affects women from all backgrounds.
   "Across the board," Ms. Rincon said.
   According to the agency’s Web site, "Domestic violence knows no socio-economic barriers. It is not predicated on race or religion. It doesn’t understand the geographic boundaries between urban and suburban settings."
   When women have no money of their own and no place to go, leaving is difficult. Add into the mix a man’s threat to hurt his wife or children if they leave him, and the situation gets downright and immediately dangerous when she takes that first step.
   After living with her abuser for years, a woman like Anna often has been belittled to the point where she has no self-confidence in her ability to make it on her own or to support her children, according to Ms. Rincon.
   "There’s so much involved in that first step," she said.
   Sometimes, they turn for help with that first step to agencies like the Women’s Crisis Center. In 2004, 53 women plus 57 children sought shelter at the agency’s safe house.
   During that same period, volunteers answered 6,427 calls on a 24-hour, toll-free hotline, and 4,152 individual counseling sessions were conducted.
   The agency also provides legal advocacy for its clients. In 2003, legal advocacy was provided to more than 840 clients.
   Luminaria kits cost $10 and include nine candles and white luminary bags. The proceeds will be used to provide confidential services such as crisis counseling, safe and secure housing and children’s programs at no charge to women and children who are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.
   The kits may be purchased at ShopRite in Clinton and Flemington; the Country Emporium, the Garden Gate, Hunterdon Lock and Safe, 1 Stop Photo and the Shaker Café in Flemington; Solaris Gallery in Califon; and Willow Creek Nursery in Ringoes.
   Victims of domestic violence in Hunterdon County may call the shelter’s toll-free number at (888) 988-4033. For women living outside Hunterdon County, the same toll-free number will provide the phone number to a hotline in their area. The statewide domestic violence hotline number is (800) 572-7233.