Adele Young
Bloopers
We like to start the new year by looking back at the typographical and grammatical errors that almost made it into one of Greater Media Newspapers’ 12 publications during the previous year.
We’re grateful that these items did not make it into print, especially the ones we like to call …
Things you shouldn’t print
in a family newspaper
For a caption, one of our photographers wrote this description: “The South Brunswick marching band is pictured practicing with stimulated [simulated] instruments.”
In a similar titillating vein, we received a press release about someone who was to present a special Mother’s Day mime program. His theatrical credits included a role in “The Loin [Lion] King.”
We had a story about a couple turning over 41 cats to the Humane Society, which in turn was looking for adoptive homes:
“The shelter had set up emergency caging for the cats and put them in a storage room. ‘We turned it into a makesh*t [makeshift] cat room,’ the shelter manager explained.” Truer words were never spoken.
Speaking of critters, this might make an interesting wallpaper pattern for animal lovers: “Animal Lifesavers continues to look for people who have a home or other facility in which to border [board] the cats until the group can find good homes for them.”
We also tried to make animals an element of time: “People whose identities have been stolen can spend moths [months] or years … cleaning up the mess the thieves have made of their good names and credit record.”
Close but no cigar
In an editorial about the proposed Route 92 in South Brunswick, we almost published the following:
“In fall 1998, the EPA determined that Route 522 could serve enough east-west traffic. That sediment [sentiment] was echoed Tuesday night by the mayor.”
After all, you can never have too much sedimentality!
An e-mail about a PTA winter carnival noted that refreshments would include “homemade chili and lentil soap [soup].”
In a story about AARP’s 55 Alive driving course for seniors, we quoted one participant as saying: “I’m a conscious [conscientious, perhaps?] … driver … but this might help me to keep alert.” Thank goodness, because we have enough unconscious drivers in New Jersey.
Emperor’s new clothes
This would be some sight on New Year’s Day and way beyond the job description of any municipal worker: “Newcomers Stephen Alexander and Sal Diecidue were worn [sworn] in to their first terms” on the Township Committee.
Did you hear the one about the homophones?
“The driver was taking bends at a high rate of speed without breaking [braking] .” Some people aren’t so lucky. They do indeed break.
“It was a pretty difficult course. It was inside a racetrack and there were man-made hills. It was like European cross country. It had bails [bales] of hay to jump over and cliffs to run down.” Bails of hay … wouldn’t that be every criminal’s dream.
Beware the
missing word
It’s commonly known that a car chase can have disastrous results, but whoever thought one could destroy a town, as we almost said in a police story:
“A car chase put two area men in police custody that originated in Newark and ended Middletown.” (The misplaced modifier is another issue …)
Misplaced modifiers
strike again
“Two Middlesex County men were held in connection with a dispute over a parking space that turned violent last week.” And most of us thought it was people who got road rage.
The Department
of Oxymoron
In a photo caption, we almost printed that during Safety Day at a Woodbridge firehouse, firefighters allowed youngsters to shoot the firehouse [hose].
Spell check can be your best friend or your worst enemy. In a sports story a writer inadvertently changed the phrase lofty expectations to lofty excretions.
What a difference
a letter makes …
In a 50th wedding anniversary announcement, we described the “Mrs.” as a homemaker who enjoyed gold [golf].
In light of the fact that it was the couple’s golden anniversary, perhaps such a blooper was not too far off the mark.
One news article described a “stork [stroke] of luck.” That might describe getting a baby boy after three girls in a row.
Here’s a refreshing response to the steroid scandals:
“ ‘The moral [morale] of the team is high, and we look to keep it up,’ the coach said.”
In the Police Beat column for Tinton Falls, one item described the discovery of “four glassine bags of heron [heroin] .”
Powdered bird, the new street drug of choice?
One of our sports listings made this very considerate announcement: “The cots [costs] are $35 for the Peanuts Division (3 and 4 years old).” These lucky little ones apparently get to take naps during practice or a game.
The ABCs of acronyms
In a world where there are far too many acronyms and initialisms, where CD means one thing (compact disc) to a 20-year-old and something completely different (certificate of deposit) to a 70-year-old, it’s no wonder we get confused, as illustrated by the following excerpt:
“In a 4-2 vote on Aug. 2, Township Council members rezoned the 70-acre parcel of land off Route 130 from R1, which provides for the construction of single-family homes, to PAC (political action committee), which provides for the development of a housing community for active adults over the age of 55.”
What we meant to say was planned adult community. However, a political-action-committee community might be a concept whose time has come. Perhaps it would be a zone where we could confine all politicians permanently and watch the sparks fly.
If only it were true …
In a back-to-school graphic we almost published, we had a kindergarten session running from 12:32 p.m. to 3:20 a.m.
You can just picture a lot of very tired parents rushing to sign up for that session.
In a letter to the editor, one reader offered this interesting tidbit: “It is with great distress that I find that the New Jersey Education Association (NJEA) and its members are diluting [deluding] the taxpayers with the intention of teaching the children of this state to the best of their ability.”
What exactly is the formula for diluted taxpayers? 2 parts broke, 1 part fed up?
Calling all doctors
In a story about a nurse who worked in Haiti years ago, we called the facility where she worked the Alert [Albert] Schweitzer Hospital.
We almost published a front-page caption about a WOMB tournament, which was actually a basketball tourney sponsored by WOBM-FM in Ocean County. But a much more amusing image might be triplets jockeying into position for first-born bragging rights.
At this point, it’s time to emphasize that all the above-mentioned gaffes did not get in the paper. However, in the spirit of full disclosure and journalistic integrity, we have to admit that many mistakes did get into print. But it’s important to keep things in perspective and realize that mistakes keep us humble and often bring a smile when one is needed most. Take these examples:
A Democratic council candidate said he only heard criticism from Republicans.
“ ‘It’s just constant knit-picking [nit-picking] on minor issues,’ he said.”
Just call us naive, but we didn’t think about any other connotation except sports when we wrote the phrase Future baller above a photo of a young girl playing basketball. However, we got a phone call from someone who read something very different into the words.
In a sports story about football phenom Knowshon Moreno of Middletown High School South, we wrote: “Knowshon Moreno is more than just a spectacular football player — he’s a coach’s dream. And you can bet there are quite a few Division I coaches that have him at the top of their lists for potential recruits.
“Just tell them to wait for him in the end zone. His arrival is usually eminent [imminent].”
But if you think about this amazingly talented young man, maybe we weren’t so wrong after all.
Adele Young is the news editor of Greater Media Newspapers, which publishes weekly newspapers in Middlesex, Monmouth and Ocean counties.