Interfaith Hospitality Network stitches up the safety net for homeless families.
By: Dennis O’Neill
When Nancy lost her apartment last month after an argument with her roommate, the 27-year-old mother of two prayed for help.
"I got very sad when my son asked me, ‘Mommy, when are we going to get a house,’" she said.
Herbie, her 8-year-old son a straight A student in second grade had given her a crayon drawing from school.
"He drew a picture of a pretty house with me, and him, and a little dog in front of it," she said.
Although Nancy worked full time, her wages were low and she was able to afford only subsidized housing. Like many low-income families, she lives paycheck to paycheck, and finds it difficult to save for a security deposit on a new apartment.
"I checked the newspapers every day, but the prices were outrageous, and the waiting list for subsidized housing was six months to a year," she said. After exhausting all other resources, and facing the possibility of being turned out into the street, Nancy placed a call for help to Laurie Langbein, the executive director of Interfaith Hospitality Network of Mercer County (IHNMC).
"We’re often the last stop for these families," said Ms. Langbein, a clinical therapist who holds a master’s degree in counseling services from Rider University. "Our goal is not only to help them with the immediate crisis of finding housing, but to also address the issues that caused the problem, and try to break the cycle of homelessness."
Since it began operating in April of 1998, IHNMC has coordinated the efforts of more than 40 religious congregations to serve the needs of 90 homeless families with minor children in Mercer County.
"We’ve served over 325 adults and children since we started, with a 95 percent success rate of moving families into permanent housing," said Ms. Langbein.
Currently IHNMC uses nine area churches for temporary housing including Nassau Presbyterian Church and Trinity Episcopal Church in Princeton. These nine churches rotate responsibility as "hosting sites" for one-week stints, four to five times during the year. They convert Sunday school rooms and meeting halls into hospitality centers where up to five families (no more than 14 adults and children at a time) can sleep, eat, shower, play and feel safe until they find new homes.
Volunteers from more than 30 support churches and synagogues and service organizations such as the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts provide meals, transportation, laundry services, and sympathetic ears, and even shoulders to cry on.
"If it wasn’t for our volunteers, we would have no program. They are crucial to our network," Ms. Langbein said. "This is basically people helping other people in need, and trying to help them get back on track."
Princeton native Loretta Wells is a member of Nassau Presbyterian Church who joined IHNMC five years ago.
"I saw an announcement in the bulletin and thought it sounded interesting. I went to a training session at Trinity Episcopal Church and started there as a volunteer," she recounted. IHNMC staff continually trains and briefs volunteers, with reviews before a hosting week.
When her own church needed a new coordinator for the program, Ms. Wells took the position. Soon after, she proposed to the church’s governing board that Nassau Presbyterian Church also become a host site. The proposal passed unanimously.
In mid-May the church finished its first year in the rotation as a hosting site. Ms. Wells said the program has been great and underscored the reasons for its effectiveness.
"It gives these families a sense that someone cares for them," she said. "This is not a handout. It gives them a chance to get back on their feet through their own devices by providing a safe environment where they also learn important skills."
Not only do volunteers offer comfort and support during a family’s time of need, but volunteers often make lasting impressions especially on the children.
Ms. Wells fondly recalled the children of the first families that came to stay in the church last summer.
"We took them for a walk down to Lake Carnegie to watch the fireworks. Some of the kids had never seen fireworks before, and they were amazed," she said. "On the way back, it began to rain. But the rain and the long walk back didn’t bother them because they were so excited."
Hopewell resident Jim Brown is a member of St. Paul’s Roman Catholic Church in Princeton. He has worked as a commodity trader since 1981 and volunteers with IHNMC at the Hopewell Presbyterian Church. He began in 1998 as a weekend volunteer, but now serves as the church’s co-coordinator not only to help others in need, but also because he says it keeps him grounded.
"We are probably living in one of the wealthiest areas of the world and yet 20 minutes down the road is incredibly disheartening poverty," he said. "You can’t ignore it, or neglect it."
As a volunteer who sometimes helps families move into a new home, Mr. Brown was struck by the tenacity of some families trying to overcome the obstacles in their way to a better life.
"You meet a lot of people who just work their butts off, but they’re living paycheck to paycheck with low-paying jobs," he said. "If they get sick, or a child gets sick, and they miss work a day or two, it causes a lot of problems. It becomes part of a vicious cycle that is not easily overcome."
He lauded the program’s high success rate in placing families in permanent housing, but stressed that the program did as much for the volunteers as for the people they served.
"I get the opportunity to meet and help out some really good people," he said. "I feel good about myself for doing it and it helps me be thankful for what I have."
Plainsboro resident Mandy Heron, a member of the First Presbyterian Church of Dutch Neck in Princeton Junction, added that the program also helps strengthen the community because it breaks the sad cycle of homelessness for families who want to succeed.
Her church is scheduled as a host site for the first time in July. She said the congregation was looking to participate in a local mission and that IHNMC was the perfect fit.
"I love it because it is ‘hands on,’ concrete aid, and not just giving money," Ms. Heron said. "The families get lots of support and counseling besides the financial aid they need for housing."
On a visit to a host site to learn more about the program, IHNMC staff and volunteers impressed her with how respectful they were with their guests.
"They respected their privacy and also their wants even asking what they would like for lunch," she said. "If you treat people like that and show them faith and compassion, they’ll pass it on down the road."
She also was able to meet some of the guests and their children. One young boy asked her what her church was like.
"I told him we had a basketball and volleyball court and a play area. ‘When are we going there,’ he said. But another boy yelled to him, ‘You won’t be going, because you just got a house!’" Ms. Heron said with a chuckle.
First Presbyterian Church of Dutch Neck is able to host guests only in the summer because the church runs a preschool and nursery during the school year. Ms. Heron said this was her church’s way of giving another host site a break in the summer.
Many congregations participate with IHNMC as "support" churches or synagogues instead of host sites. They send volunteers, meals, bedding and financial support. Like First Presbyterian Church of Dutch Neck, available space is already being used for other ministries. In other congregations, the facilities are too small, or there are not enough members to support the program as a host site.
The Reverend Sonja Pancoast, pastor of St. Bartholomew Lutheran Church in Trenton, said that nine Lutheran churches in the Mercer County Mission Cluster have banded together to join IHNMC.
"One of our congregations used to participate in the program, but found it too overwhelming for them to do it alone," Rev. Pancoast said. "We found a way to join together and instead of one church taking it all on, we’re all sharing in the ministry."
She added that while St. Bartholomew would be the host site, each of the other churches was taking responsibility for one day of the hosting week.
"We wanted to find a way to help those in need in our community, and found that the problem of finding affordable housing in our county particularly in Trenton was an issue all of our churches could come together around," she said.
Laurie Langbein has been the executive director of IHNMC since it began in 1998. She is IHNMC’s only full-time paid employee and works tirelessly to see it succeed. She said that growing up in West Windsor gives her work added meaning.
"It’s a great way to help bring healing to the community and area I grew up in," she said. "It’s a truly amazing program to see the love and support that volunteers give to these families helping them to reach their goals."
As for Nancy, she has a plan. Her first goal is to save enough money for a two-bedroom apartment with enough room for both her sons, Herbie and 4 ½-year-old Austin, who currently lives with his father.
She says the volunteers at IHNMC are "very nice people" who have been her angels and answer to prayer.
She hopes to earn her GED so that she can go on to college and study communications. She wants to start her own business, or maybe even work on Wall Street.
But most of all, she wants to own her own home like the one drawn by her son.
"I’m so proud of him. Even with all of these problems, he’s a straight A student," she said. "Every night I help him with his homework and pray with him. I tell him everyday, ‘Do your best, and try your best.’"
For more information about the Interfaith Hospitality Network of Mercer County, visit www.IHNMC.org.

