Stories of Spirit

Grief counselor Susan Barbara Apollon tells the stories of her patients’ encounters with deceased loved ones in a new book.

By:Susan Van Dongen
   If only Buster could talk, perhaps he could tell me what — or who — he saw today.
   Buster is my ginger tabby, a little guy who might be described as hyper-vigilant. He is always the first to know when there’s an insect or other critter in the house — even something tiny. A speck of dirt or splotch of light can also get his undivided attention.
   This morning, Buster was very, very focused on one corner of the apartment. Since the crickets have died and the spiders are sleeping for the season, it must have been something more ephemeral. Looking up, he purred and meowed, sat up on his hind legs and reached upward, then rolled on his back, as though he wanted someone to rub his belly.
   The attention was not directed toward me, though, he was focused on the ceiling. This went on for about five minutes — and it wasn’t the first time today that he went to that corner and acted weird. I would normally just think he was being a typical cat, but since I’ve read a new book by Yardley, Pa., author Susan Barbara Apollon, I wonder if there was something or "someone" there.
   I was thinking it might be the spirit of my grandmother, who passed away on this very day a few years ago. And earlier in the week I marked the second anniversary of my mother’s death. I wondered if these two ladies were trying to reach out from the other side. (Even though Grandmom thought I cooked "like an American," I’m sure she’d still want to let me know she was around.)
   Ms. Apollon, an intuitive psychologist who specializes in grief counseling, heard so many tales from stricken families and individuals who experienced this kind of connection or communication with a deceased loved one, she wanted to share their stories.
   Those anecdotes, along with Ms. Apollon’s insightful observations, are collected in the book Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul (Matters of the Soul, $19.95). That’s a hefty title, but it perfectly summarizes her heartfelt intention — to validate the experiences of those who grieve and help expedite their healing process.
   The book is available through a number of places, including Ms. Apollon’s Web site. She will be discussing and signing the book at Barnes & Noble in West Windsor Jan. 19.
   The lovely, elfin woman with snow-white hair greets visitors and patients in a suite housed in an enormous, renovated Victorian mansion in Yardley. She often works with children, and her waiting room and office are populated with stuffed animals, stacks of books, numerous angel figurines, framed paintings and posters. One that especially stands out reads "Dogs are Miracles with Paws."
   The quietly intense Ms. Apollon imparts information and observations almost as though she’s channeling the stuff. Complicated metaphysical ideas, statistics and stories flow like someone has opened a tap. One of the most striking facts she relates is about the number of "believers" out there.
   "Forty-two percent of Americans surveyed report moments of communication with those who have died," Ms. Apollon says. "But I think it’s higher."
   She says her original intention when she began writing the book more than 10 years ago was to provide comfort for those who were grieving loved ones. A cancer survivor, she also wanted to share some of the tools she utilized in her own healing. Just validating another’s experience, saying "Yes, I understand," contributes to enhanced well-being and helps the healing process.
   "Validation is a powerful, therapeutic tool," Ms. Apollon writes.
   At the center of Touched by the Extraordinary is what Ms. Apollon calls "the non-local mind," perhaps better known as the sixth sense.
   "It is through this non-local mind, that we experience post-death communications and other supernatural moments," she writes. "If you can tap into and develop this sixth sense, you can actually invite these extraordinary visits from your lost ones."
   One of Ms. Apollon’s suggestions for jump-starting one’s intuition include, not surprisingly, meditation and breath awareness. Both can open the door to the type of spiritual guidance and otherworldly phenomenon the author describes. And meditation can be as simple as practicing relaxed, regular breathing.
   "As you stay with the breath, you have a sense of quieting your being, of peace and tranquility and even of beginning to connect with your intuition, otherwise known as the wisdom of your soul or consciousness," she says.
   Other tips include keeping a "synchronicity journal," just noting meaningful coincidences that seem to happen from time to time, like thinking of a friend and having them suddenly call.
   Ms. Apollon says we should give ourselves permission to be open to extraordinary experiences — expect miracles, in other words. And we can often invite the spirits of loved ones for a "visit" simply by asking — not in an anxious or desperate way, but calmly and with a sense of joyful expectation.
   It’s an interesting time to experiment with these invitations, too, since Ms. Apollon says loved ones that have passed over often "return" around holidays and special occasions.
   "You might even set a place at the table for your family member who has passed on, or light a special candle in his honor," she writes. "Don’t be surprised if your gift is acknowledged in some way… and you’ll know it when you see it."
   When you seek out and welcome such extraordinary events, you will begin to notice more and more of them, she says.
   "You will find them incredibly comforting," Ms. Apollon says.
   Ms. Apollon, 61, has worked as a psychotherapist, psychologist and healer for almost 15 years. She treats children and adults who are traumatized, diagnosed with cancer or other life-threatening illnesses, dealing with death and dying, as well as those who are grieving. She comes from a family of physicians — her daughter Rebecca included — but Ms. Apollon adds the elements of the spiritual to her practice, with the intention to facilitate healing at the soul level.
   Married to an orthodontist, Warren, Ms. Apollon also has an adult son, David. A native of Wyncote, Pa., she attended Beaver College (now Arcadia University) in Glenside, Pa., and was a language teacher before she went into psychology. She earned a master’s in counseling and certification in school psychology from Rider University, and is licensed to practice school psychology in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. She has been in private practice in Yardley since 1991.
   Ms. Apollon strongly believes that one of the best ways to heighten your intuition and develop the non-local mind is to get a pet, and says that animals are deeply connected to humans and to the unseen world. She notes many documented cases of dogs knowing when their epileptic owners were about to have a seizure, as well as dolphins sensing pregnancy and illnesses in humans even before the people themselves were aware.
   Knowing this, then, perhaps Buster is truly tuned into the mystical, more so than I am. Maybe he was trying to tell me that I was, indeed, having a "visit" from Mom and Grandmom on the anniversary of their passings, experiencing just a little "touch of the extraordinary."
Susan Barbara Apollon will sign Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul at Barnes & Noble, 3535 Route 1 South, West Windsor, Jan. 19, 7 p.m. For information, call (609) 716-1570. On the Web: www.bn.com. Susan Barbara Apollon on the Web: www.touchedbytheextraordinary.com