Back-to-school tips for parents
By: Joan Ruddiman
As the kids start school this week parents gear up for a new round of running to team practices, music lessons, scouts and other kid related activities. September is particularly busy for parents as schools host back-to-school nights, often on several different nights for children who are in different grades or attending different schools. With everything else going on in the family, these extra nights out can be exhausting.
Here’s a pitch to make the effort. Back-to-school nights can get your student and you off to a good start.
Relate the new school year to starting a new job. The first few days at a new job are nerve-wracking as you size up the protocols of the place like what to wear and if the hour lunch actually is taken in half that time. You figure out the "office politics," like who really has the answers. Those first days on a new job can be exhausting, but are critical for moving into the new routine.
Consider how our kids confront this every September. They have a new "boss" (or several bosses!) who has his or her own "protocols," meaning the classroom rules and expectations. They have to negotiate the "politics" of how to fit in and get along with new classmates. Now, layer on the real business of learning new material. Amazing, isn’t it, how kids adapt each year?
Back-to-school nights are designed to provide an overview of the protocols and politics for parents so they can help their children more successfully move into this new "job." Teachers provide the same information to parents that they shared with students in the first days of school, such as what supplies are needed, what the homework policy is, what students will be studying throughout the year. But how many kids actually convey that information to parents when asked, "So what did the teacher say?" as they come in the door the first day of school?
A back-to-school night is the parents’ shot at getting all this information and more.
Parents can listen for underlying messages that kids might miss like what the teacher particularly values (neatness, timeliness, participation, organization, enthusiasm for reading, science or theater.)
Teachers put a lot of effort into setting up their classrooms. Parents can read the posters, see what is displayed on bulletin boards and observe the set-up of classroom furniture to get an idea of the teacher’s management style. B
Back-to-school nights are jammed packed with activities and information and really are not designed to accommodate individual conferences. However, teachers appreciate questions from parents during the classroom visit that allow for clarification or additional information for the benefit of all. Parents can chat with their kids about school in general and have a sense of what they may need to ask when they come to Back to School Night.
A good offense is the best defense. Throughout the year, keep chatting with your child. The parent-teacher conferences held in the fall and spring provide time for individual concerns to be addressed. Go to the conference with your questions. Don’t hesitate to call teachers who respond with phone conversations or even better, by e-mail.
The Department of Education has collected a load of evidence that says when kids are successful students, and when schools are successful educators, parents are active partners. By the definition of the word "partner," this means working with your children, not doing their work.
But parents are not expected to be the teacher-at-home. Parents provide the atmosphere that fosters learning. They do read-alouds for fun. They watch TV or videos with their kids (or listen in nearby) to provide guidance on what is watched as well as how it is watched. Parent reactions to misbehavior by a TV character go a long way in sending a message about values. In today’s world, the computer is the medium that needs close monitoring. Keeping the home computer in a central location is strongly advised by police who work with Internet crime.
Since parents are the keepers of the calendar and day-planners, they can help structure the at-home schedule. Homework and at-home reading time needs to take precedent over recreation time social visits, phone time, computer and television use. Yet, homework should not consume the child’s entire afternoon or evening. Set up the homework hour that works best in your household. You may consider flipping the "free" time to after school, when kids can play outside, or play on the computer as they unwind from the school day. Then the homework hour can be during the time when parents want to check the mail, read the paper, catch up on the e-mail, and, therefore, are close-by to monitor and support homework.
Kids and teachers, too, can use all the help they can get towards having a successful school year. Parents as partners in this process are much appreciated.
So mark your calendars; back-to-school-nights are coming up. Here’s to a good start to another school year.
Joan Ruddiman is a teacher and friend of the Allentown Public Library.

