Reunions bring back the past
By: Arnold Bornstein
Thomas Wolfe’s classic American novel is titled "You Can’t Go Home Again," but we evidently proved him partially wrong by journeying to his home state of North Carolina for a gathering of four couples who lived on the same Long Island block several decades ago.
Wolfe’s book suggests that you can’t go home again because home no longer exists as you knew it. However, our reunion rekindled memories of the Farnum Street that still exists in our minds.
Our friends who live in New Jersey also have a vacation home in Sunset Beach, N.C., which is where we all gathered for a few days, while the other two couples now live in Charlotte and Greensboro, N.C.
We didn’t seem to focus that much on reminiscing about the past, as so much has happened to us, our children and grandchildren since we all left the old block. But the street where we lived as our kids grew up always remains in our minds, as it does for nearly everybody.
One day while we were sitting on Sunset Beach, which is on the Atlantic Ocean shoreline, my wife asked: "What does this remind you of ?"
"Hewlett Point" was the immediate response, which is an inlet on Long Island and part of the same Atlantic shoreline, just 600 miles to the north.
We used to sit together periodically on weekends at the Hewlett Point beach. And as time goes by at both the Long Island and the North Carolina beaches, perhaps only the water and the sand and the memories remain constant.
Three days after driving home from North Carolina, we were on the road again, this time toward Linwood for the bar mitzvah of Ian, who is the son of our daughter-in-law’s sister.
The ceremony and celebration involve a Jewish boy’s passage into adulthood. During the celebration at a country club last Saturday evening, we sat at a table with friends from the so-called adult community where we all live. And the atmosphere was obviously very festive.
While sitting in the synagogue during the ceremony that Saturday morning, I thought back to my own bar mitzvah at 13 years of age. My father had died three years earlier after a lengthy illness and my two brothers were in the Army, fighting in World War II. My mother and my sister were there; her husband was serving in the Navy.
I also briefly reviewed my life last Saturday morning. It appeared to resemble the fast-forwarding of a video or one of those newsreels they used to show in movie theaters that presented current events, before the advent of television. As with all lives, it included happiness and sadness, ups and downs, fulfillment and disappointment. And it prompted me to try something I never expected to do: attempt to give some advice to those approaching adulthood, from a life that’s far from being a role model.
What follows is an open letter to Ian, but I believe it applies to all boys and girls on the verge of becoming young adults:
An Open Letter to Ian Kimmel
Dear Ian,
Congratulations on your bar mitzvah, and may you have a long, happy and healthy life. This was one of the most important days of your life so far, and there will be many more.
You brought back so many good memories of my own bar mitzvah and of my own life that followed. Do not think of what I am about to say as gloomy or depressing, as it affirms the Hebrew saying and toast, l’chaim, which literally means, to life.
In the two times I thought I may leave this planet prematurely once in a near-miss car accident, and once in the Navy I recall my instant reaction not only of fear, but also of anger at all that I would miss. For of all the gifts we receive, perhaps nothing is more precious than the gift of life itself.
As you go forward in your own life, Ian, may you live it fully and with countless fulfillment. Always remember that your dreams are goals delayed. Always attempt to pursue what you truly believe you want.
May you bring great joy to yourself and to all those who love you.
So as Adam Sandler indicated to you during the video montage at your celebration: get off your manly rear end and go for it!
Mazel tov!
Very sincerely,
Arnold and Linda Bornstein
Arnold Bornstein is a resident of Greenbriar at Whittingham in Monroe.

