TANGENTS by John Saccenti: Fear-filled messages fail to influence ‘base’ voter

Campaign calls prove to be more annoying than insightful

By: John Saccenti
   Thank you very much.
   And by "thank you very much," what I really mean to say is "the idiots who were calling me every five minutes last weekend have ruined yet another perfectly good Election Day."
   There I was, just days before mid-term elections, blissfully unaware that my vote Tuesday would determine whether or not America would continue its unprecedented economic and international success.
   I was shaken out of this ignorance-is-bliss moment last weekend when I fielded probably 30 or so calls, many left on the answering machine, telling me that if I voted wrong, the good ol’ U.S. of A would fall into the gaping maw of disease, pestilence, corruption and Democratic control. They interrupted my breakfast, my lunch, my dinner, my bathroom breaks, and even my valuable yard work and television times to tell me this.
   Every single one of these calls was placed by the Republican Party. I am apparently what the GOP refers to as "the base," and I fear that they were trying to motivate me.
   Among these calls were polite teenagers, confused adults and people working hard to get people out to vote.
   Many of the calls were innocuous. Others were designed to scare. And none of them were informative. The ones I didn’t get to took up at least 10 minutes of answering machine tape. If they wanted to annoy me to the point where I’ll vote just to shut them up, then mission accomplished.
   I even received a call from Mario Andretti, who for some reason felt compelled to "reach out" to his fellow Italian-Americans and encourage them to vote Republican. (I must admit that Mr. Andretti sounded suspiciously like the guitarist Esteban, who also has left messages on my machine thanks to a QVC purchase.)
   Two of these calls were recordings of celebrity politicians Rudy Giuliani (America’s mayor) and U.S. Sen. John (Straight Talk Express) McCain. Several included anonymous voices of doom telling me that not only were Republicans awesome, but Democrats were dangerous.
   Message received. If I wanted to show "the man" who’s boss, that I like freedom and safety, then I should vote for…"the man," Republicans.
   I guess it should have been obvious, especially since the last six years have gone so swimmingly.
   Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m actually a registered Republican, which probably explains the number of calls I received, and I had already planned on voting against my Democratic East Brunswick Township Council candidates. In the race for U.S. Senate and House of Representative, I had planned to vote Democrat, mostly because both have hit historic highs for awfulness under their current makeup. However, I don’t hold out much hope that the Democrats will be much better, in the long run at least.
   Needless, to say, the calls I received last weekend only served to reinforce my views. But, as annoying as they were, and as angry as they made me, I found some to be very educational.
   For instance, did you know that the past six years have been fantastic? Economically, we have never been better. Perhaps Sen. McCain could compare my salary this year to my salary six years ago. Record economic growth my ear.
   Did you know we have terrorists on the run, but Democrats will make nice with them, and perhaps even invite them over for a night in the Lincoln Bedroom? Why, they might even post nuclear bomb plans on government Web sites, just like the Republican administration recently did.
   Did you know that Republicans will continue steering America to prosperity? I can only assume that this will mean more outsourcing, tax breaks for companies that move "off shore" and the continuing disintegration of our manufacturing base.
   Did you know that spend-and-tax Democrats will only make government it bigger, possibly big enough to encroach on my right to privacy? I hear they may even reserve the right to suspend habeas corpus. Shudder.
   Did you know that Democrat U.S. Rep Nancy Pelosi is the Antichrist? (OK. I made that one up).
   Seriously though, if I didn’t know any better, I would think that Republicans were as delusional as they think we are. Why would they send out these impersonal, fear-filled messages that resemble veiled threats more than they do honest-to-goodness campaigning?
   I have no problem if you vote Republican. I do it myself quite often. Just as long as you know why you’re voting Republican.
   For me, I look at it this way. If the party in power can’t honestly tell me how they’ve done a good job, and make an argument for their record, then how can I expect them to do a good and honest job representing me, my family and my friends and peers?
   Thanks guys. My decision was easy, but now you’ve gotten me all riled up about it.
John Saccenti is the news editor for The Cranbury Press and the South Brunswick Post. He can be reached at [email protected].