PHASE THREE by Arnold Bornstein: The holidays: old, new, renewal

Past, present and future come together during festive time of year

By: Arnold Bornstein
   The holidays stir memories of the past, thoughts of new insight from the present and hope for renewal in the future.
   We recall times that go back to childhood, including loved ones and friends no longer with us; we try to look at some current things with a fresh perspective, and we make resolutions for the new year.
   The earliest holiday recollection that I clearly remember happened when I was 9 years old and my oldest brother was 23.
   I was walking in our living room, and my brother came up behind me and slipped something over my shoulders. I turned around and looked down, and realized it was a jacket.
   While I truly appreciated his gift, evidently he saw disappointment in my face and realized that a jacket didn’t excite a 9-year-old boy, although our mother thought it was a great gift.
   The next day, he surprised me again, this time with an airplane kit. Things like that stay with you, because even then I knew how hard he worked for his money.
   I look back at holiday dinners since marriage and see the faces of eight loved ones who have since died.
   But while memories also bring sadness, we remain thankful for the abundant joy that we shared with family and friends. And it continues, for now there are more children and grandchildren at the table.
   While gift giving and family dinners and get-togethers are traditional, I think another aspect of the holidays seems to be more reflection, regarding both the lives of those close to us and our own lives — and perhaps the desire to make more of a difference.
   I do not remember his name nor do I know his whereabouts, but it was around the holidays 55 years ago when a naval-base buddy asked me to go to church with him and pray for his wife.
   I am Jewish and he was Catholic. We went together.
   His wife was having emergency surgery and he was flying home on emergency leave that day. I later received word that his wife was okay. We soon were assigned to different ships and our paths never crossed again.
   Our lives do indeed sometimes cross "like ships passing in the night." Once in a while, I have thought about that incident in my life, and I reflect hopefully on the thought that a bond exists between all of humanity.
   Another time, around the holidays, one of my son’s best friends was having a difficult time thinking about his own life, a career, college and what to do. He obviously wanted to talk about it, and we had a long conversation. Today he is successful, quite happy and has a wonderful family.
   What I am trying to get at is that throughout the year, and it seems to become magnified at this time of the year, when a loved one, friend or acquaintance talks, we must do more than hear. We must listen. Don’t confuse hearing with listening.
   And this holiday season will conclude with the start of a new year, which for many also means attempting some New Year’s resolutions. Unfortunately, with myself included, too many of our resolutions fall by the wayside.
   But the effort can be quite admirable. I have found myself now making resolutions throughout the year in an effort to improve myself and have a better year than the previous one.
   Speaking of good years, there is a quote from Babe Ruth, when reporters told him that his new contract would pay him a higher salary than President Herbert Hoover. The Babe quipped: "I had a better year than he did."
   In any event, best wishes for Happy Holidays and a Healthy and Happy New Year!
Arnold Bornstein is a resident of Greenbriar at Whittingham in Monroe.