SPEAKING OF COMMUNICATIONSusan Young
During the past century, women have made tremendous strides in fighting for equality and a level playing field with men.
Alice Paul, who fought for a woman’s right to vote, was from New Jersey. In the years spanning the time between Alice Paul’s work in the 1890s to Christie Whitman becoming the state’s first female governor in the 1990s, women have accomplished a great deal. Clearly, there is still work to be done.
Many of our successes can be attributed to our communications. Successful women have learned to walk with authority and grace (despite high heels), to demand answers and not settle for stonewalling, and to balance compassion with firmness.
When Christie Whitman was elected our 50th governor, she was like a breath of fresh air. I met our former female governor in 1984, when I was starting my radio news career as a reporter at the now defunct WBRW in Somerville. At the time, Ms. Whitman was a Somerset County freeholder.
For more than 10 years, I had the pleasure to interview Ms. Whitman many, many times. I was fortunate to spend nearly every day with her when I served as deputy director of the Governor’s Office of Radio and Television at the State House.
While not everyone agreed with her ideas and policies, Ms. Whitman won praise for her communication style. Her predecessor, Jim Florio, was criticized for not welcoming public comment as he pushed his income tax hike through the legislature. Voters may have been willing to deal with the tax but they didn’t like being ignored.
Ms. Whitman listened to people’s opinions. She may not have heeded all the advice, but people liked having their voices heard.
Listening is a critical skill not only in politics but in business. I was with Gov. Whitman and the press corps almost daily. Regardless of the tone of a press conference, whether planned or on the spur of the moment, she never interrupted a question and she never belittled anyone. When she knew the answer, she gave it. When she didn’t know, she admitted it and offered to find out. Then she followed up. She was, and still is, the epitome of a good listener.
Ms. Whitman was tough when she was pushed but she was fair. Whether it was communications hardball with Donald Trump or the horrific sadness of Megan Kanka’s mother, Christie Whitman was a model communicator. I learned by watching and listening to her, how women can be outstanding communicators. When I look back now, I realize I had one of the best mentors.
In addition to finding your own communications mentor, here are some tips for women who want to improve their communications in the workforce:
Avoid weak words.
Many women use expressions like "I feel" and "I wish." Use factual and declarative statements and not emotional language.
Give a firm handshake.
A firm handshake accompanied by eye contact and a smile says, "Let’s talk business. I’m ready." Make that important first impression.
Stop over-apologizing.
You are not responsible for the rainstorm, the bad waitress service, or the Jets’ loss in overtime. Limit your apologies. Over-apologizing seems to be a female thing.
Leave your personal life outside the office door.
Small talk about a family trip, hobby or birthday party is fine but spewing ugly details for more than 30 seconds can be too much.
Women bring unique styles, mindsets and communication skills to business. Alice Paul would be proud, but clearly, there is still work to be done.
Susan Young is the president of Susan Young Media Relations Inc. and Get in Front Communications. The companies provide public relations, mass media and interpersonal communications services to businesses, nonprofits and professional associations. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and is a frequent presenter at professional meetings and conferences. Call (732) 613-4790 or visit www.sueyoungmedia.com.

