BY BRIAN DONAHUE
Staff Writer
Carlos Morales JAMESBURG – Francine Morales couldn’t go more than a few minutes on the phone this week without another call clicking in or her cell phone ringing.
Everyone wanted to know details of the good news that Francine’s husband, Carlos, was finally coming home after a tour of combat with the U.S. Air Force in Baghdad.
“Everyone found out he’s coming home, and everyone is calling,” Francine said with a voice that’s clearly been made hoarse from happily spreading the word and planning for Carlos’ return home after more than four months away.
It is indeed a joyous time for the couple and their children, Devin, 16, and Myriah, 9, though Francine said Tuesday that she wouldn’t be totally at ease until she sees Carlos set foot on U.S. soil. He was to arrive after press time last night at Philadelphia International Airport and would then spend his first night at home in Jamesburg since early September.
Carlos, a borough councilman since 2002, is also a veteran of Operation Desert Storm. He served 16 years with the Army before transferring to the Air Force nearly three years ago. He has been on active duty with the Air Force and National Guard since May 2004.
Despite his past military involvement, Carlos’ time in Iraq has been a life-changing experience, Francine said. Though he has not been permitted to share many of his experiences with his wife due to military restrictions, he has told her enough to make it clear his life will never be the same.
“Carlos has always been a very outgoing person … and he’s been different,” Francine said. “He’s seen a lot. He has told me that what we see on TV is absolutely nothing compared to what he’s lived over the past four months. He wishes he could erase it all.”
Carlos has worked 16- to 18-hour days, she said, six days a week, with Sundays off.
She knows he’s been involved in combat fighting, but Francine knows little in the way of details. She has spoken to him on the phone “maybe once a week,” but the calls are short.
“You only get 10 minutes of phone time, and it takes three minutes to even get connected,” she said, so it boils down to a seven-minute call that is monitored by the military.
The phone calls and nightly e-mails are in fact heavily censored to limit information coming from the war zone; the calls are interrupted by long bleeps, and the e-mails cut in entire sections, Francine noted.
Carlos has expressed to her the realization of just how much people back home take life for granted. In addition to what he’s witnessed in combat, his time in Iraq has been an unpleasant adjustment in terms of his daily living conditions – cold, 5-minute showers; sleeping on a cot that you can’t even roll over in; no civilian clothes, even on days off; and dealing with the portable toilets.
“He said the worst smell in the whole world is walking into a port-o-john on a 120-degree day,” Francine recalled.
Carlos was perhaps able to find some comfort in living vicariously through those back home.
“There’s no alcohol there, so he would say, ‘crack open a beer for me,’ take a six-minute shower with hot water, call out of work, or just sit back and relax, look out the window and realize life as we know it, how good we have it,” Francine said.
For Francine and the children, daily life “has been a struggle.” To keep spirits from dampening further, Francine established a rule – no watching the news, no turning on CNN. Hearing reports of another bombing in Baghdad or a downed helicopter, she said, would drive her crazy.
“Your mind starts playing tricks on you,” she said, “especially because you’re not speaking to him every day. You don’t sleep in a deep sleep at night because unfortunately you’re waiting for that knock on the door in the middle of the night. All the time you see on the front page of a newspaper, ‘More bloodshed in Baghdad,’ or ‘Worst day yet in Iraq … .’ You think to yourself, ‘Carlos, pick up the phone.’ “
It’s been a period of adjustment for the children, who will turn 17 and 10 in March and April.
“My son had to take on the role of being a typical 16-year-old, but also play the role of man of the house,” Francine noted.
The whole family, Carlos included, will now undergo counseling, as is required by the military, she said.
In the meantime, all four – and their many friends, relatives and colleagues – couldn’t be happier about Carlos’ return, something the family only learned of last week. Carlos was taken via Blackhawk helicopter to another mideast country, the name of which could not be disclosed to Francine, for several days of debriefing before embarking on the 18-hour journey home.
“Obviously he’s very excited,” Francine said of Carlos. “But he knows life will not be the same because of what he’s experienced. He said he looks at life completely differently now.”
Carlos, a native of Elizabeth, will return to his role as councilman in the borough where his wife is a lifelong resident. After 30 days of winding down, he will also return to his former day job as a Middlesex County Hazmat employee.
Most importantly, he will finally be back home with his wife and kids, who can’t wait to make up for the lost time.
“We’re going to celebrate Halloween, Christmas, New Year’s …, everything he missed,” Francine said. “We’ll celebrate them all as a family.”