Funeral Consumers Alliance director will talk about dollars and sense
By: Kristin Boyd
Stephen Stripp of Pennington had attended enough funerals to know that even modest arrangements can total thousands of dollars.
Mr. Stripp didn’t have that much to spare when his 27-year-old son died unexpectedly on Dec. 17. He found ways to control costs, however, including buying a wooden casket online for $1,300 and a reliable interstate transport service to retrieve his son’s body for $765.
"You can get hosed, so to speak, and be taken advantage of financially, because you’re so emotionally vulnerable," he says, adding he was able to save $3,000 by researching all of his options.
Being a smart shopper does not mean you care any less about your deceased loved one, according to consumer-rights expert Josh Slocum, who says ignorance and grief lead many Americans to spend as much as triple what it costs to cover funeral arrangements.
"We can’t measure our love for the dead by the amount we spend on them," he says. "A $10,000 coffin isn’t going to get anyone to heaven any faster, and it’s not going to make them any less dead."
Mr. Slocum, also executive director of the National Funeral Consumers Alliance, will speak during "Thinking Outside the Box: Learn About Funerals Before You Buy One" at 2 p.m. Sunday at the Princeton Public Library, 65 Witherspoon St.
The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Princeton is sponsoring the free event, in which Mr. Slocum will discuss funeral rights and money-saving tips. He will also shatter funeral myths about embalming and cremations and present a survey comparing prices from 20 area funeral homes.
"If you never checked around, you might find out that for the past four generations, you’ve been paying three times the price on funerals," he says. "Families have more rights than they realize, but if you don’t know what they are, you’re a ripe target for a costly sendoff."
Death, much like sex, is often a taboo subject, and many Americans believe it is shameful or bad luck to talk practically about funeral planning. They’d rather remain "blissfully ignorant" than appear cheap by looking for the best deal, Mr. Slocum says.
In addition, he says, some families allow funeral-home directors to guide their funeral decisions, without questioning costs or details. Unscrupulous directors prey on this, Mr. Slocum says, and convince families to buy expensive package plans, some of which are loaded with unnecessary services or items.
"Don’t go in there naive," he says, adding that services and items can be purchased separately or in bulk. "They may be nice people, but the bottom line is, they need to pay their bills."
Many consider Mr. Slocum to be the Superman of funeral planning because he travels nationwide, busting myths and shining a light on improper mortuary practices. However, he jokes he may be one of the most-hated men in the funeral industry.
"Funeral directors hate me well, not all of them," he says, laughing. "We’re not against the funeral industry. We’re against taking advantage of the grieving. If they don’t like that, too darn bad."
Laurie Powsner, volunteer executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Princeton, echoes his sentiments. The group strives to maintain positive relations with funeral-home directors, but protecting the public is FCA’s first priority, she says.
"There are more funeral homes than the death rate can sustain," Ms. Powsner says. "While most funeral directors are honest, caring, reputable people, they are still running a business. People lose sight of that."
The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Princeton is a nonprofit, educational organization that serves Princeton and the surrounding areas. Members are dedicated to helping residents make informed decisions when planning funeral arrangements.
Ms. Powsner, a hospice social worker, often uses an example to make her point: Would you buy a car the day after your husband died, and if you did, what kind of decisions would you make?
"It’s worth shopping around," she says. "You’re at an extraordinarily vulnerable place (after a loved one’s death). If nothing else, go get the information from different funeral homes. You could learn a lot."
While education is the key to avoid being hustled, there is nothing wrong with buying a two-hour viewing, a $10,000 casket or a gold-embossed guest book, if that’s what families want and can afford, both she and Mr. Slocum say.
"Funeral directors are (like) wedding planners. They offer help and services, and they can make your life easier," Ms. Powsner says.
"But be aware and know what your options are. It’s your choice what you buy, and if you’re ignorant of your rights, that puts you at a huge disadvantage."
Mr. Stripp agrees, adding, "Only two things are certain in life: taxes and death. So it’s in your best interest to get educated now. Once you die, it’s too late."
For information about the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Princeton or for free advice and literature about funeral planning, call (609) 924-3320. On the Web: www.funerals.org.