Editor’s Journal (04.19.07)

For Karyn and Justin, on their wedding day

By: John Dunphy
   I must confess, I really do love weddings.
   First, let’s look at pleasures of the palate: the usual bevy of foods, from the seafood crepes and calamari, to the penne vodka and Chateau Brignon. The fondue, which I would never willingly pay for, sits in a cheesy, creamy pot next to pieces of bread. The chocolate fountain, in all of its ooh and ahh glory, flows upward, waiting for you to douse a banana, strawberry or, if you’re feeling particularly saucy, another piece of chocolate.
   Then there is the camaraderie, some from seeing people you might not have seen in quite awhile. High school friends, college friends, friends you passed at a party somewhere in Jersey City five years ago.
   Perhaps it’s from the cabernet, chardonnay and some DJ you’ve never met who gives you big, ugly sunglasses, cheap, dollar store cowboy hats and the unspoken permission to "boogie down."
   I think, for me, there’s something more to a wedding, however, than food, booze and the electric slide. Perhaps it’s the pomp that goes into the day, all of the attention given to every detail, every nuance — everyone’s in a celebratory spirit on this special day that is different from all others.
   Maybe it’s the freedom of being told, sure, you’ve spent a lot of time, energy, and cash on putting this thing together. Sure, it’s going to smart a little when the bills start rolling in. Sure, everything is uncertain going forward. But, today, you can be happy, you can forget about all of that inconvenient reality. It’s not going away, but it’s taking a day off.
   I got to see an old friend I hadn’t seen a while get married on Saturday. She was a beautiful bride — her beaming face a far cry from the scowls I often received in high school when I did something or another to annoy her (there were many occasions, then and afterward). On Saturday, she and her new husband were weightless, their faces telling nothing of anxiety, of fear for the future. They were exactly where they wanted to be.
   From the simple ceremony, to when they were introduced for the first time as husband and wife (to the theme song of Benny Hill, no less), to when Karyn danced with her father and kept having to wipe away a tear, to when Justin’s father gave his own teary speech — elation elevated them, and me vicariously.
   It all sounds terribly cheesy and unrealistic a vision coming from a curmudgeony writer who often questions the concept of true love, while secretly pining for it. But, so what if it does? What’s so wrong with that?
   Thanks, Karyn and Justin, for loaning me a little of your happiness.
John Dunphy (who’s really a softie at heart) is managing editor of The Lawrence Ledger. He can be reached at [email protected].