Hand in hand

Couple reunites ‘in sickness and in health’

By: Olivia Tattory
   "All You Need is Love" is a title that resonates with many. The familiar and poignant song written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney is a clear message that love can conquer all. And that it did for Wilma and Norman Ruskin.
   After meeting at a beach club in 1957, marrying the following July and divorcing 13 years later, the couple remarried on May 5, nearly 50 years after their first wedding.
   The small, intimate wedding was attended by only 26 people, including the couple’s four children, their spouses, six of their seven grandchildren, close friends and a few relatives. Held at the Salt Creek Grille at Forrestal Village, the ceremony signified the adversity both Mr. and Ms. Ruskin have experienced and the love that has reunited them.
   "Looking back, I think we had to be apart to realize what we lost," said Ms. Ruskin. "I think we’re two completely different people now and it’s really made us stronger."
   After spending 13 years together, the couple divorced in 1981. Ms. Ruskin ended up in Monmouth Junction, while Mr. Ruskin settled in northern New Jersey. It wasn’t until some 10 years later that the darkest of circumstances brought them back together.
   In December 1992, Ms. Ruskin was diagnosed with acoustic neuroma, a non-cancerous tumor that develops on the nerve that connects the ear to the brain. She underwent surgery in early 1993. Doctors have determined that symptoms of the benign tumor started as early as 30 years before her diagnosis. Ms. Ruskin had suffered from serious balance problems, tinnitus (a ringing in the ear caused by an external stimulus) and progressive one-sided hearing loss from the age of 24. As a result, Ms. Ruskin was treated for Meniere’s disease, high blood pressure and other conditions.
   An MRI finally revealed a 2-centimeter acoustic neuroma in 1992 and she was scheduled for suboccipital surgery, which is performed below the occipital lobe of the brain.
   This diagnosis was the beginning of a difficult road Ms. Ruskin has traveled for the last 15 years — a road that has provided a fulfilling and enriching journey, however, along the way.
   "My experience with the brain tumor was one of the best things that ever happened to me," said Ms. Ruskin. "As a result I’ve had the gift of being able to give back to people."
   In 1994, two years after Ms. Ruskin’s surgery, Mr. Ruskin moved to Fort Lee to be closer to her. In 1996, Ms. Ruskin moved into the apartment on Nassau Street where the Ruskins currently reside. Ms. Ruskin describes her husband as the one person that she could always be herself around.
   "I could tell him when I was afraid," she said. "I told him when I was scared and he was always there to just listen to my concerns and worries while offering unconditional support."
   The couple has been volunteering at University Medical Center at Princeton for nearly 10 years.
   Ms. Ruskin’s surgery was followed by unilateral deafness, a spinal fluid leak, bacterial meningitis and debilitating headaches that persisted until this past December, when she suffered a minor stroke. She was unable to return to her career and for many years was limited to the confines of her home.
   After Ms. Ruskin was diagnosed in 1999 with a 1-centimeter regrowth, an MRI in 2000 determined that the tumor had doubled in size in just one year. As a result, Ms. Ruskin underwent Gamma Knife treatment, a form of radiation with a goal of stopping tumor growth. An MRI in 2005 revealed the tumor had not grown. Ms. Ruskin is scheduled for another MRI later this year.
   As if dealing with all this wasn’t enough, the Ruskins had yet another hurdle to face. Mr. Ruskin underwent surgery in November for recurring abdominal problems. He was then diagnosed with esophageal cancer in February and began five weeks of radiation on May 7, just two days after the couple’s wedding. This was then followed by two weeks of chemotherapy. Mr. Ruskin was released from the hospital more than two weeks ago.
   "We’re taking it just one day at a time," said Ms. Ruskin. "We’re hoping that he’ll start to feel better in the next few weeks so we can plan our Cape May vacation given to us by our children."
   The Ruskins have remained optimistic despite the many obstacles they’ve faced.
   When Mrs. Ruskin learned the newly formed New Jersey chapter of the Acoustic Neuroma Association was about to disband, she was determined not to let this happen. She scheduled a meeting that 24 people attended. The statewide chapter now has 200 paid members and meets two to three times a year.
   ANA/NJ is open to anyone who has been affected by AN or is interested in supporting the goals of the organization. More information can be found at www.ananj.org.
   When asked why the couple decided to remarry, Ms. Ruskin replied, "It just seemed like a good idea. I guess he was the love of my life and always was."
   Thus proving that love can conquer all.