Arrests at PNC center: stupid is as stupid does

Greg Bean Coda

Greg Bean
Coda

Last week, when I was writing about coyotes, I noted that people trying to trap them only catch the dumb ones. The smart ones get away, because they’re too savvy to be caught in such an obvious fashion.

That principle also applies to some teenagers and young adults, at least the hundred or more who have been popped for underage drinking so far this summer at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel.

If you’ve been paying attention, you know that the issue of underage drinking at the arts center has been moved to the front burner by politicians and cops this season as a result of a May 18 Gwen Stefani concert. During that event, about 15 underage drinkers were taken to area hospitals for alcohol-related illnesses. The dunderheads had consumed so much booze while tailgating before the concert that they actually needed medical treatment to cure them of the effects of their idiotic behavior.

Needless to say, 15 kids showing up drunk, incoherent and violently ill at hospitals got the attention of people in authority, most notably Assemblywoman Amy Handlin (R-Monmouth and Middle-sex) and Holmdel Mayor Serena DiMaso, who decided drastic action was needed.

At first, Handlin talked about pulling the liquor license from the arts center and called on the state Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control to do just that.

That demand didn’t gain a lot of traction, however, so she went to Plan B. She called on Live Nation, the concert promotion company that leases the facility, to provide more security and surveillance before and during events. She also called on the state police to increase the number of officers patrolling the parking lot before concerts and to beef up their enforcement of underage drinking laws. She said she’d attend the next concert herself to make sure the cops were on the ball.

The issue had been in the news so much that anyone who attended the Fall Out Boy concert at the arts center in early June should have known that underage drinking there would be a mite riskier than usual. A smart kid or young adult would have said to him- or herself, “You know, it probably isn’t such a good idea to be flaunting our beer bongs at the tailgate party before this particular concert. Maybe we ought to stick to Cokes.”

They didn’t pay attention though, at least not enough of them. Not only were Handlin and DiMaso roaming around the parking lot before that concert, a squadron of state cops were also there. They made 53 arrests that day, 49 of them for underage drinking. And each of them, upon conviction, will come with at least a $500 fine. Some of those kids even got their pictures in the newspaper. That ought to make their parents proud.

If those kids and young adults aren’t dummies, I don’t know how else you’d describe it.

We had a reporter at that event – Dan Newman, who works for Greater Media Newspapers’ publication the Independent – and when he came back to the office and started telling us what young people had told him on the record, we couldn’t believe what we were hearing. Not only were these young lawbreakers not contrite or ashamed of themselves, they saw themselves as victims and blamed the authorities for spoiling their good time.

One 20-year-old woman groused that “These parking lots used to be so hopping prior to the shows, and now tonight, you can see that things have changed, and it sucks. The adults are ruining this for us.”

Ruining what? The opportunity to visit the emergency room for alcohol poisoning and to get your stomach pumped? The opportunity to get so drunk you crash your car on the way home and kill a bunch of people whose only crime was being on the road at the same time?

Another 20-year-old woman was so disgusted by the presence of so many cops, she wanted to sell her ticket at a loss. “I’ve got to blame the cops and the Holmdel mayor (DiMaso),” she said. “She needs to relax and take it easy and let people have fun.”

Yipes! You just can’t make this stuff up.

In spite of their whining, you’d think these young people might have gotten the hint, especially since the authorities had promised to be out in force at all the rest of the 10 concerts this summer that will draw younger audiences. You’d have thought they might not continue breaking the law in such a flagrant manner. You’d have thought they might have avoided behavior that was absolutely begging to get them arrested and marched out in handcuffs. You’d have thought wrong. We’re talking dummies here, not rocket scientists.

At The Fray concert June 25, the state police made about 50 more arrests for underage drinking. Of those, 12 people were under 18 (the youngest, according to local newspapers, was 14).

At this rate, by the time the last concert of the summer rolls around, the state police will have arrested so many people for underage drinking and the courts will have collected so many fines that the state will be able to erase its budget deficit and won’t have to lease the turnpike.

I say, bring it on. Any kid or young adult dumb enough to continue drinking in public at the PNC Bank Arts Center parking lot when he or she knows there’s a whole passel of cops looking to make arrests for that particular violation deserves whatever happens to them.

As a matter of fact, I think the judges should tack on an additional $500 fine for the crime of public stupidity. And if the reprobates are older than 18, we ought to put their names in the paper, so that everyone will know just how incredibly dim they are.

In the long run, that might be doing them a favor – if they learn from their mistakes and misfortunes and change their behavior in future.

From what I’ve heard from some of these chowderheads so far, however, we probably shouldn’t hold our breath. In the words of that great American, Forrest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

That applies whether you’re trapping dumb coyotes or arresting dumb kids. And it probably ain’t gonna change.

Gregory Bean is executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers. You can reach him at [email protected].