BOOK NOTES

Adversity becomes advantage

By: Joan Ruddiman
   Teena Cahill has a wealth of practical and professional experience to share with those who face tough challenges.
   In a recent animated conversation, she first establishes that she does not see adverse moments as challenges, but as "opportunities to grow and learn." During her life, she has had many such opportunities.
   Ms. Cahill was raised by hardworking folks who did not understand her drive for higher education — which she pursued in part from a scholarship won at a county fair. She persevered through a doctoral program in psychology and established a successful practice as a cognitive behaviorist — all while raising three children.
   She was happily enjoying the fruits of all these "opportunities" when life took an unexpected and newly wonderful turn. She met Brooks, a retired Marine who was working as a captain for a large international airline. In her late 30s, she had found the love of her life.
   Over the next seven years, Ms. Cahill and Brooks crammed their days with professional and personal challenges of the best sort. Brooks was flying and Ms. Cahill was working both in her practice and as an adjunct professor. Both were supportive parents of their kids, who ranged from "late adolescence to early adulthood," and loving caregivers to their own aging parents.
   They traveled widely, pursued their passions for tennis (Ms. Cahill) and skiing (Brooks) and lived life to the fullest. Then, on a cold December night, their idyllic, world came to a screeching halt. Brooks was rushed to the hospital with a cerebral hemorrhage.
   In a proverbial flash, everything changed. Forget being in control, giving orders and having the answers. A strong man — physically, emotionally and mentally powerful — was flattened by damage to his brain and body. The strong woman had to dig deeply into her knowledge and experience in what she calls "resilient living."
   Ms. Cahill recently released "The Cahill Factor: Turing Adversity into Advantage" (SterlingHouse, 2007). It premiered at the BookExpo America in early June — quite a coup for a first book, even more so given that the book does not fit easily into expected genres.
   "It is a Boomer love story," Ms. Cahill chuckles as she attempts to classify what is a mix of a very human story with advice for those who face health crises.
   Given the number of aging Boomers and the increase in debilitating illnesses, it is not surprising that Ms. Cahill’s book would hit a publishing nerve. But she intends for the book to serve more than just caregivers.
   "We live in an unpredictable and demanding world. We all have to learn to take care of ourselves," she says, noting, "It is not selfish to practice self-care."
   She says, "We do not live in a culture that says it is ‘the good wife’ who takes care of herself first. Yet in taking care of ourselves we are also taking care of those who rely on us … There is harmony to the dance of humankind!"
   Ms. Cahill passionately maintains her belief that "we were born tough" and that "knowing we are born with innate resilience" allows her to reach out with the book "to teach how to enhance it."
   Ms. Cahill’s term for the book is "instructional memoir" that reflects her purposeful teaching of science through art. The book frames psychological theory in chapters that tell of her life, love, marriage and intense struggle not to lose Brooks — first to death and then to major disability.
   Ms. Cahill and her extended family came to understand that the stroke was just the first salvo in a long battle; a spinal cord injury left Brooks unable to walk. Both Brooks and Ms. Cahill have mastered mobility (and world travel) with a wheelchair.
   At every point in this journey, the family faced the "what ifs." What if the high altitude in the mountains triggers another stroke? What if skiing snaps the fragile spine? What if Brooks doesn’t accept that he will never fly again?
   They faced down every "what if" with "then so what!" The title of her book is her mantra — "turning adversity into advantage."
   Local readers may recognize Ms. Cahill’s name and dynamic approach to life from columns in a local paper. She has also spoken at many local events and served as Master of Ceremony at the Princeton Memorial Day parade this year.
   They may also appreciate her references to the unnamed but recognizable people and places that continue to sustain her and her family. For example, the role of the university in their lives is endearing, such as the strolls on campus that provided physical and emotional healing.
   In what was one of the most moving parts of the story for me, Brooks is literally saved by a noted historian who is an expert on the Civil War. Ms. Cahill, when she realizes that her training on the brain’s resiliency is dated and that Brooks’ brain is not doomed to stagnate, decides his intellect needs as much exercise as his limbs. Though she never does meet the man, Ms. Cahill telephones the famous professor to request that Brooks be approved to audit his class.
   "The history professor had given Brooks what no medicine could provide, what no therapist could create, what no wife could instill," she writes. "This learned man, who understood both history and life, gave Brooks a precious gift, a gift that all of us need if we are to flourish. The gift was opportunity: a chance to use his strengths, to follow a passion, to make mistakes in a protected setting, to share his newfound knowledge with others, to rebuild his self-esteem, and to have a purpose worth getting up for each day."
   The study of the Civil War led to an extended study of the Lewis and Clark expedition, complete with trips to historic sites and extended collections of books and artifacts, along with a renewed enthusiasm for life.
   Ms. Cahill draws on a lifetime of personal and professional expertise to educate readers on how to draw on "our biological hardwiring" that allows us to "bounce back from adversity."
   She believes that we are, by nature, resilient. We "benefit from challenges" — the human mind thrives on achieving. And "responsibility and expectations force us to dig deeply until we find our strengths." The secret to unleashing this power is to find our "authentic leadership" in order to go forward.
   Ms. Cahill’s message is wonderfully optimistic and practically realistic. Yes, the book reads more like a story ("it is a love story!") than a self-help book, but all the elements for support are included.
   "The Cahill Factor" is a valuable gift for anyone who fills the role of caregiver and for people of all ages as an inspiration that life may change, but can still be lived well.
   A meet-the-author and book-signing event is planned for Wednesday, July 18, at the Nassau Club. Ms. Cahill hopes that, with her encouragement and guidance, women in attendance will become active leaders in philanthropic organizations. She says, "Women are great givers, but need to become leaders in non-profit activities."
   For more information on the event, call Charlotte Hague at (609) 637.4900.
Joan Ruddiman, Ed.D., is a teacher and friend of the Allentown Public Library.