Friends renewed their vows in a villa in Italy
By: Madeleine Johnson
Not many couples get to celebrate 105 years of marriage.
But on June 27, three couples Robert and JoAnn Bartoletti, of Cranbury; Michael and Marlene Lynch, of Titusville; and Michael and Carol Vedral, of Hamilton Township renewed their vows in a villa in Italy during an impromptu ceremony to honor each couples’ 35th wedding anniversaries.
"We expected we would have a wonderful time in Italy, but this really made it a special time that, for me, was memorable beyond just vacationing with some friends," Ms. Bartoletti said Wednesday.
The six friends originally planned to travel around Italy from June 19 through July 3 simply to commemorate their anniversaries.
"JoAnn and I and Marlene are of Italian ancestry, and Marlene knew of this beautiful place in Umbria that would be a great backdrop for this vacation in celebration of our 35th anniversaries," Dr. Bartoletti said.
But during their travels, the couples came across a chapel that Dr. Bartoletti suggested might make the perfect location for a vow renewal.
"We saw this beautiful chapel and, as soon as someone said they have christenings and weddings there, Bob said, ‘We should renew our vows here.’ Bob was the instigator of the whole thing," Ms. Bartoletti said. "We were very fortunate that the people who owned the property were able to take our suggestions and run with them. They decorated the altar in the chapel and had a party for us. Everyone was making a big fuss over us."
While each couple is celebrating a 35th wedding anniversary this year the Bartolettis were married in June of 1972, the Vedrals were married less than a month later and the Lynches were married in December their friendships and professional relationships go as far back as the ’60s, which is when Dr. Bartoletti, Mr. Lynch and Mr. Vedral became friends.
"I go back to knowing both Michaels since 1966-67 while we were in college. We’ve maintained a really fine friendship," Dr. Bartoletti said.
"The three of us (men) have been fairly close. (Mr. Vedral) is from my hometown, and Bob lived on my floor at school. We were together for the entire time I was there," said Mr. Lynch.
In fact, Dr. Bartoletti is the common thread among all three couples, as he introduced his two college friends to their future wives.
Dr. Bartoletti, Ms. Bartoletti and Ms. Lynch worked together as teachers in Lawrence Township, which is where they all met.
"We were chaperoning a dance at the school and, afterward, we all went out for something to eat and we were talking and I said, ‘I have a college friend who’s coming to visit in a week or so, would the two of you like to go out to a movie?’ I think my wife was a little reluctant we weren’t dating at that point so I think with some convincing on the part of Marlene, they decided to go with us," Dr. Bartoletti said.
"JoAnn was hemming and hawing. When Bob went to the bathroom, I kicked her under the table and said to her, ‘JoAnn, what do we have to lose? It’s not like we’re going to marry these guys," Ms. Lynch added.
Not long after their first blind date, the four friends became two couples, and Dr. Bartoletti put his matchmaking skills to the test once more.
"Another friend of ours taught English her name was Carol Jackson. Weeks later, I said to her, ‘I have a friend coming to visit, we should go out to dinner or whatever," he said. "She thought about it and she reluctantly said ‘I think I’ll go. It’ll be fun.’"
Nowadays, while some of them have retired from their longtime jobs, five of the six friends are still working in education: Dr. Bartoletti works as the director of The College of New Jersey’s Support for Teacher Education Programs office; Ms. Bartoletti is the executive director of the New Jersey Principals and Supervisors Association; Mr. Vedral is a sixth-grade teacher and coach at Reynolds Middle School; Ms. Vedral is an English teacher at Lawrence Middle School; Ms. Lynch works part-time at Stuart Country Day School; Mr. Lynch is a manager for Ashland Inc.
Both Dr. and Ms. Bartoletti credit their common backgrounds in education to the successes of not only the three marriages, but also the six friendships.
"With our careers being so immersed in education, all that was a common thread. And we all continued to live in the same area and continued to see each other as we pursued our careers. We have a lot in common: We all enjoy athletics and theater, and we enjoy living in the Central New Jersey area," Dr. Bartoletti said.
"Because of our backgrounds in education, we had so much in common," Ms. Bartoletti added. "All of us were initially teachers. When you talk about what you did during the day, we could relate to the disappointments and the celebrations."
Mr. Lynch agrees that finding common ground has helped to keep the bonds of their marriages and friendships strong.
"We all have a lot of common interests. We enjoy sports, we enjoy going out to restaurants, and the women we’ve hooked up with have fallen into the same patterns," he said with a laugh.
And while a common bond helps with the longevity of any relationship, it’s not the only reason why the six friends have stayed together for so long.
"You need a sense of humor," Ms. Lynch said. "Also, you’re making a commitment. There’s a lot of give and take. It’s not all good, but you have to take the good with the bad."
Mr. Vedral also has found that the concept of giving and taking is what helps two people stay together.
"Saying ‘Yes, Dear’ works for all of us," he said. "We do get mad at each other, but the big thing is you have to learn that it isn’t always going to be your way. Compatibility is very important, but you have to be able to give and take, too."
Dr. Bartoletti agrees that a little bit of compromise and respect goes a long way.
"I think, as you live together for many years, you really take on the characteristics of one another, though we really have maintained our own individualism and idiosyncrasies." he said. "All three couples, the one thing that we have is that we really like each other and respect each other and we’ve mastered the art of compromise. And, although I’m not the most patient person in the world, I learned to be more patient. I think those are the things that go into a long marriage."
Ultimately, Mr. Vedral believes that the three couples have learned a lot from their years as husbands, wives, parents and educators, and that age and experience have driven them to be closer than they’ve ever been.
"We’ve always stayed in touch, and we’re probably closer now than we were then. I think we know we’re on the backside of the ladder. We’ve over the top and we’re climbing down, and we don’t know everything now," he said. "Everyone goes in a different direction and you think you’ll be friends with people from high school and college forever, but you have those true friends where there’s that bond and you hang together."

