Trinity Counseling marks an anniversary that began with a sweet romance, French style
By: Christian Kirkpatrick
Trinity Counseling Service celebrated a silver anniversary on Saturday. Twenty-five years ago, TCS held its first Bastille Day Ball.
According to gala co-chair and Princeton resident Victoria Irmen, "the ball was founded out of love."
Here’s the back story: In 1948 Sally Sword, this year’s honorary chair, received a proposal of marriage from her late husband, Bill, on Bastille Day in Paris. The two were visiting "the city of light" with a group of young people.
On a dare, Mr. Sword asked her to marry him, but she turned him down because they had met only 10 days before. Later, she reconsidered, and they were wed.
Afterward, Mr. and Mrs. Sword regularly threw a party on July 14 to celebrate their union. Every year the party got larger.
By the early 1980s, when TCS was looking for a fundraiser to help support its expanding services, the Swords happily suggested that the agency take over their annual bash.
Since then the event has grown steadily. The first ball earned $7,000; last year it netted $115,000, said the Rev. Peter K. Stimpson, executive director of the organization. The ball’s success is important because it is the organization’s only fundraiser.
But just as important as its financial success is the appropriateness of this benefit, the Rev. Stimpson pointed out. TCS is pleased to host a gala born of a happy marriage because it works daily to strengthen marriages.
Over the years the Bastille Day Ball has had many themes, including various French artists and Left Bank writers.
Anne Elise Matthews, outgoing president of the TCS board, recalled a ball she chaired several years Ago, when she and a friend commandeered her garage to make Matisse-like cutouts.
"The car stayed outside for months," she said with a chuckle.
"I expected Peter (Rev. Stimpson) to give me a free car wash!" quipped her husband, Greg Matthews.
This year’s gala was titled "To Paris with Love." Held at Drumthwacket, it featured food by Main Street Catering and music by the Lester Lanin Orchestra.
The entertainment also included 10 mini-raffles, or tricky tray auctions, of items that would please any Francophile. They were set out on tables behind the house, turning the backyard into a mini Champs-Élysées.
As co-chair Christina Henderson of Princeton had promised, the evening held "tons of surprises," including the identity of the winner of a trip to Paris valued at $6,000.
Nearly 400 guests attended. Heading the list of corporate sponsors were Bristol-Meyers Squibb Corp., Sierra Foundation and Henderson Sotheby’s International Realty.
"Trinity is generously supported by the community," said Dr. Jennifer Kearney, who works for the agency as an adult and pediatric psychiatrist. "Very few places have something like this."
Through this organization, Dr. Kearney treats clients without regard to their ability to pay. The agency cares for people on a sliding scale that can slip all the way to zero. Almost as important, she and the other clinicians never know how much people spend to see them.
Dr. Kearney said she values the camaraderie she finds at Trinity. "It feels like we’re a family," she said. Because they work in the same building, the agency’s 21 social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists can easily collaborate on cases. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that staff stays so long an average of 11 years, according to the Rev. Stimpson.
Trinity Counseling Service was created in 1968 as part of Princeton’s Trinity Episcopal Church. Its founder, the Rev. E. Rugby Auer, wanted to make the best of counseling available to everyone, not just Episcopalians or Christians, said the Rev. Stimpson.
In 1974, the agency moved out of the church and into a house at 22 Stockton St., where it is located today. In 1977, TCS incorporated and became an entity separate from Trinity Church.
Each week the staff treats more than 400 people from the greater Princeton community. Although TCS employs clergy of various denominations, TCS itself is nonsectarian. Clients don’t have to be members of any faith. "Religion is not talked about unless a client brings it up," said the Rev. Stimpson.
Although it is well known for treating the needy, TCS works with clients of all means and understands the strains that busy, affluent people are subject to.
"Our level of expertise is very high," said Rev. Stimpson. Trinity’s clinicians have worked an average of 22 years in their field.
Psychiatrists, marriage therapists and child psychologists are all on staff because TCS seeks to serve the whole family. The agency offers both marriage counseling and programs to build strong families. TCS workshops help people prepare for or enrich their marriages.
Because the agency employs Ph.D. psychologists, it also offers a range of specialized testing, including personality, cognitive and behavioral assessments; vocational and academic testing, and psychological evaluations of candidates for the ministry.
One TCS program, the Childhood Intervention Project, helps prevent problems from developing in local youngsters. Clinicians with the project observe children at the Princeton Nursery School. When they notice behavioral or emotional issues emerging in a student, they talk with the child’s teachers and parents, suggesting strategies for addressing the problem. If more help is needed, children and their parents, if necessary come to the agency for therapy.
Child study teams in the Princeton Regional Schools also refer children to TCS. And children come from outside Princeton, as well.
At Trinity, caring is key, said the Rev. Stimpson. "Therapy works best if someone truly cares for you."
To help clients feel this care, the building that houses TCS is decorated as a home. "The rooms feel like living rooms," said Rev. Stimpson. When clients arrive, clinicians take their coats and offer them a beverage. "Here a client isn’t just appointment number four," he said. "They are treated with respect and caring."
On the Web: www.trinitycounseling.org.

