Go directly to jail, but do collect $200 (or close to it)

By Stephanie Prokop, Staff Writer
   BORDENTOWN CITY — It was an evening of curbside laughs, complete with old-fashioned powdered wigs and two prominent citizens behind bars.
   Many residents walked by and donated money, others honked their car horns and exclaimed, “Free the mayor!” as they cruised by the first Bordentown City Kangaroo Court.
   The purpose of the event held Tuesday in front of the Friends Meetinghouse on Farnsworth Avenue was to raise money for the city’s 325th anniversary committee, but the laughs that Mayor John Collom and his wife, Esther, received while they stood in front of their 4-by-4 wooden jail cells, were priceless.
   The court will be in session all week, with various couples and residents getting their chance to raise funds to help “prisoners” get out of the jail cells.
   The trial, which took place in a record 43 seconds, included state Assemblyman Joseph Malone (R-30th), wearing a Colonial-era white-powdered wig as he sentenced Mayor Collom for “failure to park too near to the curb.”
   ”I find these charges ridiculous!” exclaimed Mayor Collom, just before Mr. Malone fired back, “You’re guilty, and for that you receive one hour in jail.”
   Mrs. Collom was charged with the most heinous crime of “being too loyal to her husband.”
   ”Judge” Malone sentenced Mrs. Collom to 15 minutes in jail.
   Once they were thrown into the cell they were not allowed to sit, laugh, sleep or fall down.
   ”But they didn’t even let us explain,” cried Mayor Collom. “Please come and bail us out.” He called his sentence of one hour in jail a “travesty.”
   The scene was complete with two Keystone cops, clad in navy blue long jackets and bell-shaped hats.
   Residents Peter Ciarrocca and Robert Pecht, acting as the cops, took their roles very seriously and said they weren’t afraid to use their clubs if the prisoners got out of hand.
   At the end of the hour, the “prisoners” got pie in their faces. Mrs. Collom was not so enthusiastic about the finale.
   ”I’m not going to be scrubbing whipped cream out of that costume,” she said, while eyeing up her husband’s 18th-century traditional garb, complete with knickers and a ruffled white shirt.
   About a half-hour into the sentence, Mayor and Ms. Collom had each earned $57 in donations. All proceeds from the weeklong fundraiser will go toward 325th anniversary events, including a parade through the city on Sept. 30.