Grocery chain overreacts to Internet video

MOST THINGS CONSIDERED

By:Minx McCloud
   OK, I realize that I recently wrote a column about my local SuperDuper Mart, but that one was funny (I hope). This story is just sad and stupid.
   Are the people at A&P corporate headquarters crazier than outhouse rats or what? They are suing two kids over a video they made called "Produce Paradise." It’s a parody of the music genre known as "gangsta rap" and they filmed it at the A&P store in Califon.
   Apparently, they did it after their shift was over, so it wasn’t exactly theft of time. It was part of a college film-making project.
   Well, I figured this must be a really disgusting tape for A&P to react so radically. I mean, OK, fire them if necessary, but suing them for "at least $1 million for defamation"? Ouch. The store will lose their so-called "valued customers," because they have no sense of humor, but especially because they are coming across as bullies.
   To judge fairly, I had to get a copy of the video, which was pretty easy; it’s all over the Internet. I am a 57-year-old woman, and even I found parts of it funny.
   OK, there were a couple of bad words and some toilet humor, but no worse than I see on many of the primetime sit-coms. The worst thing they did was hang bananas out of their zippers and pretend to urinate on some vegetables.
   OK, lewd and crude, but not exactly a reason to sue two college boys.
   The corporate attorney said she had not even seen the video, but that she had been "debriefed."
   Wow, working for A&P must be fun .. . like working for the CIA. Somebody is a little bit blown up with self-importance, aren’t they? A smart attorney would have said, "Hey guys, the kids were just pranking around. If you bring a lot of attention to this, it’s going to make you look bad. Just fire them and let it go."
   These kids, with their silly little video, are more talented than most of the slack-jawed teenagers these grocery stores employ. The cashiers I encounter snap their bubble gum, wipe their noses with their hands and then handle my groceries, and otherwise offend my sensibilities.
   They yell across aisles at each other and use much more foul language (more frequently) than is contained in this video.
   OK, their judgment was a bit impaired. They probably should have known that someone would find it objectionable.
   So, they learned a lesson. It’s part of being a kid. A reprimand from A&P would have sufficed.
   To fire them and sue them makes A&P look greedy and very small-minded.
   Also, a few points about the video:
   1. If you listen closely and completely to the lyrics (which I’m sure they did not), the song ridicules produce, not A&P. The whole song was about produce, not the work environment at A&P.
   2. A&P says one of the boys is wearing an A&P cap, but I could not read the logo on the cap and was unaware that it was even an A&P before they made such a stink about it.
   3. "At least one customer boycotted the store," a corporate spokesman stated to the media.
   Gee, one customer, huh? I predict that the way they are treating these youngsters will lose you a lot more customers than you know. If they put that much concern into the complaint of one customer, where were they when we complained about one A&P, which was dirty and sold outdated meat? It has closed, thankfully (We’re not talking about Manville’s A&P, which is a very nice store. I’ll miss shopping there).
   And you know what? I don’t even believe a customer boycotted the store. I think this video somehow came to corporate’s attention and the only way they can justify their actions is to make up a disgruntled customer.
   Sane people do not boycott stores because two kids made a video. If a customer really boycotted the store because of this "disgusting" video, corporate should ignore them and concentrate on their sane customers, who think they’ve gone waaaayyy overboard on this.
   An appropriate punishment would have been a slap on the hand for wasting company time playing instead of working, a reprimand on their record, and perhaps a few days suspension.
   Oh, but wait, we know now that they did it after their shift.
   "Producing a video that intentionally and unjustly depicts our company in a negative light, and utilizing company facilities without management knowledge of the specific content involved, is obviously a blatant violation of our policy," A&P spokesman Richard De Santa said in a prepared statement.
   Oh, you are so right, Mr. De Santa. Your company has been depicted in a negative light, but not by these kids. Your reputation has been hurt, but by your own doing. Had you just let this go, hardly anyone would have known about it.
   Now your reputation is in the garbage can. Nobody likes a corporate bully.
   This little joke on YouTube.com originally only got a few thousand hits. Now, millions have located it and watched it, and have laughed at it and the A&P corporation. Nobody would ever have known it was A&P if A&P hadn’t brought it to the media’s attention.
   I address the following directly to A&P corporate headquarters:
   I will not shop at any of your stores. I hope others will feel the same way. These kids did nothing horrendous. Where do you think they or their parents will get money for legal fees and damages, if awarded?
   You are trying to ruin this family, and I will have nothing to do with a corporation that indulges in that sort of bullying. I understand that their father, the produce manager, still works there. Frankly, I’m surprised that you have not fired him and destroyed their lives completely.
   Develop a sense of humor, please. It’s the only thing that helps us to survive life without our heads exploding.
Minx McCloud is a freelance writer who writes about life in New Jersey. She can be reached at [email protected]