Although I hate to admit it and would just as soon deny it, it would seem that it’s time to face the music. It’s in the air, just around the corner, and we’re about to be plummeted smack dab into the thick of things.
It’s the holidays, and although I can’t believe it, they’re approaching at warp speed.
I just don’t know where the time went. It just seems like yesterday that I was mowing the lawn and washing beach towels. One minute the children were running through sprinklers and slathering on the sunscreen, and the next thing that I knew I was smacked upside the head with a set of jingle bells.
The arrival of the holidays started subtly enough at first. A catalog here, a Christmas movie there. But they seem to be picking up steam. In fact, I just noticed that sleigh bells are playing loudly in the background of every commercial whether it is for gift wrapping or STP motor oil.
Suddenly glitz has started appearing in the stores, Christmas songs are filling the air, and I’ll be danged if I didn’t just round a corner to see one of our little elves making up a wish list.
While I’m sure that the efficient are already addressing cards and preparing to send out tidings of wonder and joy, I’m still sitting on a foyer that’s decorated for the Fourth of July!
Worse yet, the shopping has officially begun, and we women can’t help but rise to the occasion and get caught up in the movement. The sales are abundant and the early birds are being rewarded. Halfprice here and price-slashers there. Department stores are offering discounts to those who can be there before sunrise, and the Chia Pets are coming out in full force.
Women place great importance on coupons, blue light specials, and customer appreciation days. We know just how crucial it is to purchase something at half price with another 15-percent-off coupon, and to be excited about it whether we need it or not.
While I’m still trying to convince myself that Christmas is just around the corner and that I’ll soon need to be making merry, the boys have already begun to test my loyalty to Santa.
“Hey, Mom,” one of them exclaimed as he walked through the office a moment ago, “guess what I’m asking Santa for this year.”
Knowing full good and well that the days are gone when the kid simply asked for a football, I felt a pit forming in my stomach.
Yet, I’m nothing if not resilient, and I reassured myself that it was going to take more than a 15-year-old kid with expensive tastes to get the better of me. “What?” I asked him as I braced for the answer.
“Well, you’ll be happy to know that I’m not going to be selfish this time. No sir, what I’m about to propose will benefit our family, our guests, and I have to admit that I’m thinking about you, my own dear mother.”
If the child didn’t have a reputation for being a swindler, I would have been touched. I would have teared up at his unselfishness and prepared for an act of kindness. But I’ve seen his kind before, dealt with his tactics firsthand and been the victim of his deceiving ways.
“Are you planning to give me a night off from the dishes?” I asked, although I doubted it was so.
“Oh no, Mother, I’m going to do better than that. I, Huey Clinch, am going to get into the Christmas spirit and the season of giving by asking Santa for a big-screen TV.”
“And how do you suppose that Santa will fit that in the back of his sleigh along with the toys for all the good boys and girls?”
“You’ve been telling us for years that the man lays a finger aside of his nose and rises up a chimney that we don’t have. I’ll bet he can figure it out.”
I must say that I’m not yet ready to debate the limitations of Santa, nor for the hustle and bustle of the holidays
I wonder if it would seem irrational to others if I put on some mosquito spray and went out to lie on the lawn chair with a tall glass of lemonade?
Lori Clinch is the mother of four sons
and the author of the book “Are We
There Yet?” You can reach her at