The most important communication is with yourself

Susan Young’s December SPEAKING OF COMMUNICATION column

   The words that you speak, write and communicate to family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and yes even the waitress at the local diner and the check-out clerk at Wegman’s are all important. The most important communication you will have though is the inner dialogue that you have with yourself.
   We all use self-talk throughout each day. Most of us listen to these noisy soundtracks that play incessantly in our heads that typically speak negative words, criticisms and judgments.
   ”Oh no, I have to go to Philadelphia, I always get lost in Philly, I’m so bad at driving in other states.”
   ”Don’t mention that mistake in the report, you’ll get blamed for it and will lose your job. You messed up again.”
   ”I look horrible in red. Why didn’t I wear the other outfit for the holiday party?”
   ”I wonder why the others didn’t invite me to lunch this week. We always go to lunch together. They all must hate me. I wonder what I did wrong.”
   The droning can be unrelenting and unforgiving.
   Learning and practicing the art of positive self-talk can significantly improve your life, mental outlook and attitude. I know it because I am living proof. I teach this business and life strategy to professionals across the country in my workshops, training and coaching sessions. It may sound goofy, but it works. In fact, virtually all successful business leaders, politicians and athletes use positive self-talk and affirmations daily.
   Let 2008 be your year of positive self-talk. Replace the negative soundtrack in your head with words of encouragement, happiness and support. Become your own loudest cheerleader. Here are some quick tips to get started:
    Be aware.
   Start noticing every time negative thoughts and words pop into your mind. Quickly push them out of your head and replace them with something positive.
    Use affirmations to change your soundtrack.
   Affirmations and positive self-talk will remind you of your new path. When in the shower, driving to work or taking a walk, state out loud with conviction and emotion specifically what you want. For example, if you want to be more confident, organized and productive during your day, tell yourself “I am a confident and organized professional who spends my days being productive and successful.”
    Understand that our communication is based on our attitudes, and our attitudes determine our results.
   If your head is filled with poisonous words that drag you down, your attitude will be negative as well. You will be leaking toxic garbage to everyone you encounter. When you improve your internal communication, your relationships will improve as well.
    The key is to be patient with yourself.
   Practice positive self talk and affirmations for 21 days. That’s how long it takes for our subconscious minds to form a new habit. This can be the best holiday gift that you will receive. It’s certainly the best holiday gift that you can give to yourself.
    Finally, there is one last end-of-the-year tip I’d like to share with you.
   The media is busy making “Top 10 Lists” on everything from movies, cars and baby names to celebrity break-ups, the fattest American cities and vacation spots. Take a few minutes to write down your own Top 10 list of successes in 2007. When you communicate and remind yourself of the good things and successes that you have accomplished these past twelve months, you will be filled with gratitude.
   Don’t forget to take time to celebrate your successes. Then use some positive self-talk to tell yourself what a great job you’ve done!
   I wish each of you a healthy, happy and successful 2008!
    Susan Young is the president of Susan Young Media Relations, Inc. and Get in Front Communications. The companies provide training programs, keynotes and seminars on public relations and interpersonal communications services to businesses, non-profits and professional associations. Ms. Young is a member of the National Speakers Association and is a certified practitioner in Neurolinguistic Programming. She is a frequent presenter at professional meetings and conferences. Call (732) 613-4790 or visit www.sueyoungmedia.com. Send an email to [email protected].