A political discussion between Red State conservative Dave Simpson – a former reporter, editor, publisher and columnist – and Greg Bean, Blue Stater and executive editor of GreaterMedia Newspapers. Let us know what you think.
Dear Greg:
After more than a year of campaigning, the presidential candidates have finally given us something to sink our teeth into, some direction for deep thinkers such as ourselves, who do that “gravitas” deal on a daily basis.
Up until now, it was all kissing babies and judging pies at the Iowa State Fair. But now the candidates have given us the keys to success in ’08:
“Change,” and to a lesser degree, “hope.”
You remember that friend of mine from Chicago, the guy who came up with the “hot wives” method of selecting presidential favorites (front runners, Fred Thompson, Dennis Kucinich, Chuck Norris)? He says you can get this whole campaign down to those two words.
To wit: We want change, and we have hope, and with enough hope, we can have change, hopefully. We hope not to be disappointed in our hope for change, like all the other times, but if we have to, we hope that the changed change we hope for will still be based on change and hope.
See? I hope you do.
Forget that boring policy wonk stuff about taxes and health care and the need to nationalize the oil companies so they’ll produce a lot more oil at half the price. That’s getting bogged down in details. All we need to do is hope for change, and everything will change, and, we hope, will be, well, you know, better.
I sure hope so.
I guess it says a lot about the failures of “No Child Left Behind” that we need to get a whole presidential campaign down to just one or two words so everyone can remember and understand. (We didn’t spend enough money on schools, I guess.)
We’re old enough to remember when Gerald Ford came up with the slogan “Whip Inflation Now,” which, as you’ll recall, ended inflation and assured Ford’s re-election in 1976. That was three words long, but school was tougher in those days, and kids could remember three words without going to summer school.
“Read my lips, no new taxes” worked swell at first for George the Elder, but didn’t work so well after those lips said, “new taxes.”A fib trumps a cool slogan, I guess.
So, Greg, maybe you can help a poor, gravitas-challenged Red State guy by explaining what kind of change we’re hoping for this year.
Do we want everything changed, or is a little change on a lot of fronts good enough? Do we want to throw out that whole, outdated free enterprise system, or just put the greedy CEOs in prison for, oh, say, 10 years each? Is it enough change to put George the Younger in prison, or do we need to put Dick Cheney there as well?
Can I keep two-thirds of what I make at work, or only half?
To get it down to the fewest words, which is important, I guess my main question about “change” is this:
Where’s the beef?
Sincerely, Red State Dave
Dear Dave:
If you keep throwing me these marshmallows, our readers are going to think you’ve gotten soft.
I know I’m making a sweeping generalization here, but whether you’re a Republican or Democrat, I think that for most Americans the answer to your question can be boiled down to threewords:Anybody But George.
The guy has screwed up on so many fronts that he’s not a trustworthy “decider,” he’s an equal-opportunity, serial “disappointer.” You said yourself that there are plenty of Red Staters who are angry at the way he’s handled the country’s finances, and the majority of Red and Blue staters think he’smishandled the war. But what is it that we Blue Staters particularly hope will change?Well, at the risk of oversimplifying, and admitting I don’t speak for everyone, we hope our next president won’t:
• Repeatedly violate the Constitution.
• Treat the right of habeas corpus like it’s optional or only a “guideline.”
• Drag us into costly military engagements based on faulty intelligence or outright lies.
• Treat international lawas if it is something that only suckers and countries without themost powerful military in the world have to obey.
• Lie to their own people on such a consistent basis that the only thing thatmight cure them of their compulsive psychosis is an intervention by Dr. Phil (although he sort of swung and missed with Britney Spears).
• Torture and imprison fellow human beings without recourse to the canon of laws, rights and conventions that we, as American citizens, believe are the heart and soul of our democracy (or our republic, if you’re of that mind).
• Create a climate of fear to prey on our insecurities and justify all of the abovementioned bad behavior.
• Allow Dick Cheney within a mile of a shotgun.
Those are the big ones, Dave, the ones that a lot of folks believe should have gotten Shrub and Lord Cheney impeached, and prosecuted. After that, we’ve all got different ideas about issues like schools, taxes, the separation of church and state, health care, guns and choice. But as far as I’mconcerned, all those issues are small potatoes.
They’re details, although important ones. When I say I’m ready for change, what I’mreally saying is I’mready forAnybody But George. That’s all the change I truly demand, although I hope we can elect someone I trust and admire, the Anti- George as it were.
That would obviously change (there’s that word again) if Fred Thompson or Dennis Kucinich is elected, of course. If one of them gets elected, I hope I can get an appointment with my eye doctor and have him change my prescription for glasses.
I want to make sure all the magazine and newspaper photos of their hot wives are sharp and in focus.
Yours in hope for change,
Blue State Greg
You can reachGreg Bean at gbean @gmnews.
com. Dave Simpson can be reached at