When I think about Father’s Day, I remember what my father meant to me when I was growing up. I recall the times when dad, who worked at FortMonmouth, took my sister and me on adventures along the hills of the Navesink River. We had the fun of exploring, what was for us, uncharted terrain, which ended with a thrilling slide down a 50-foot dirt hill. I also remember my dad kissing me good night after he arrived home late, when the smell of fiberglass still clung to his clothing from his second job at a shop that sold and repaired boats. His nurturing attitude, hard work and the quality time he carved out for his children set a great example and helped me strive to become the best family man, businessman and community member I could be.
Not every boy was as fortunate as I. Too many men were not taught how to treat women with the respect they need and deserve. Sometimes, this lack of respect escalates into full-fledged physical or sexual abuse. Families suffer, especially those family members who are least able to defend themselves: women and children.
To provide an idea of how widespread this problem is, one in six women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Although more than half of these sexual attacks are not reported to the police, it is estimated that about three quarters of rape victims know their attackers. Children living in the midst of such horrors are either witnesses or victims in onethird of all domestic assaults.
Clearly, this situation is not acceptable. That is why several years ago I joined Men’s Task Force, which is part of 180 Turning Lives Around, Inc., a Monmouth County nonprofit organization dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual abuse.While 180 primarily focuses on the needs of women and children, the Men’s Task Force realizes that violence against the opposite sex is not just a “women’s problem.”We know that to truly change the way things are now, men must take a stand as role models and community leaders and send out the message that violence is never the answer.
The Men’s Task Force mission is to combat stereotypes, encourage respectful behavior toward women and girls and publicly support the prevention and education efforts of 180 Turning Lives Around. Last year, members of the Men’s Task Force teamed up with Monmouth University to create the first “Coaching Boys into Men” conference, during which we shared with some 200 athletes and a few dozen athletic directors the values that have led to success within our families, our professional lives and our communities.
An attitude of respect towards all people, not just women and girls, is a cornerstone for business success, regardless of one’s profession. Success in business paves the way for people to better provide for their families and to take active roles in their communities, which are both critical to building a society where all people feel valued and safe.
Today I am a father of two beautiful daughters, ages five and 12. When my wife, Jennifer, and I look at them, we are naturally concerned about what they will face in a world where so many women fear for their safety. I am sure that many parents have the same concerns we have when they consider the different situations that may confront their children. And even if our children are fortunate and remain unscathed by domestic violence and sexual abuse, we know that feeling safe and protected should not be a matter of luck but a right for all people.
This year, the Men’s Task Force launched a new venture and oversaw the creation of Father’s Day cards. The graphic designers generously donated their talent and New Jersey Natural Gas underwrote the printing costs, so that all proceeds directly benefited 180. Every card sold served to honor fathers and help those victimized by domestic or sexual assault.
The Men’s Task Force is always looking for new members and new ideas. Anyone interested in joining should call 180 Turning Lives Around at 732-264-9114. TheMen’s Task Force is open to men from all walks of life. All that is needed is the desire to make our community one in which everyone is treated with the respect he or she needs to live in dignity, without fear of harm.
Raymond Eckhoff
Chair of the Men’s Task Force
180 Turning Lives Around Inc.
Hazlet