My son plays in the Manalapan Pop Warner football league on a Junior Pee Wee team. Recently his coach held both its practices on the Jewish High Holy Day of Yom Kippur (Oct. 8-9). I was surprised that the coach would hold practice, given that our public schools were closed for the observance.
Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people. The holiday started at sundown Oct. 8 and ended the following evening, Oct. 9. We spend that time in deep reflection, praying and fasting, as atonement for our sins. Out of respect for their Jewish teammates, many area teams rescheduled or skipped practice on those days.
My husband wrote to the coach in advance to let him know that our son would not able to attend practice on Yom Kippur. We did not ask him to cancel practice. We are fully aware that most of the other players are not Jewish and are therefore free to do as they please.
When my son returned to practice on Saturday morning, he was told that he would not be allowed to play in Sunday’s game because he missed two practices, Oct. 8 and Oct. 9. I immediately e-mailed the coach, explaining the importance of the holiday. His answer was, and still is, “a rule is a rule.”
While I can appreciate the need for team rules, sometimes you have to look at rules in a larger context, consider the implications of enforcing a rule that was clearly intended for kids who skip practice for a dental appointment or a visit to grandma’s. It’s unimaginable that a coach would use his “rule” to punish a 10-year-old boy for observing his religion.
I need to make the distinction between religious education (Hebrew school or CCD) and a High Holy Day like Yom Kippur. Like many parents, I have, against my better judgment, pulled my son out of religious education class early for football practice. Yom Kippur does not fall in the same category by any stretch of the imagination. Hank Greenberg, Sandy Koufax and Shawn Green have all missed major league baseball games, including playoffs, in observance of Yom Kippur. Major League Baseball did not punish them.
The coach’s decision to keep my son out of the game was supported by the president of the Manalapan Pop Warner Board, Glenn Essner.
Mr. Essner wrote:
“(The coach) has been a coach in our league for a number of years. He has enforced the rule (two missed practices – player does not play in the game) with his teams, fairly and consistently, regardless of the player’s ability. I have spoken to parents from previous years who also felt that their child had a valid reason for missing practice. As a parent I could understand where they were coming from and that they needed to make the right decision for their child.
“As a coach and president of the league though, I understand (his) rule, and completely support it, especially because he is so consistent in enforcing it. I understand your decision to observe the religious holiday, and I am sorry that you feel your son is being punished for those beliefs.
“Rather than looking at it as a punishment, I would look at it as a sacrifice made by you for religious reasons, which I find admirable. I stand behind (his) decision, and hope that you would have your son come to the game to cheer on his fellow teammates …”
Mr. Essner has since apologized for supporting a rule and a coach who is clearly intolerant of other people’s religions, yet has refused to take any action to remove the coach from the program. The Board of Manalapan Pop Warner feels it is more important to keep a coach who spreads intolerance than to take a stand for every child’s right to observe his or her religion, free from persecution.
Through his words and his actions, the coach has proven he is more concerned about how he is viewed as a coach than he is about our kids. It is paramount that we enact rules and regulations to protect our children from the institutionalized racism condoned by Manalapan Pop Warner. Coaches who violate those rules must be removed from their positions.
We may not be able to erase the smallminded prejudice of our generation, but we can certainly teach our children to think differently.
Sheryl Cintron is a resident of Manalapan.

