Policies aside, some kids are always on the football field

My family has been involved with Pop Warner (youth football) for four years. Throughout these years I have truly respected the organization, the coaches and all of the volunteers who make Pop Warner what it is today. Recently, events have occurred that have made me question the Pop Warner organization.

Parents have been told not to speak with the coaches about lack of playing time for their child; the coaches have said this directly to parents as well as to the kids themselves. These same coaches “warn” the players not to ask for playing time during the game. When I have a question or legitimate parental concern, there is no place for me to go, no one for me to ask. If the parent cannot talk to the coach, nor can the child, then who should we be speaking with?

I am a parent who is involved in my children’s sports. I attend all of the practices and games. I honor my volunteer duties and I have always been a respectable member of the fans attending these practices and games. Through these four years I have watched my children give 110 percent every practice and every game only to console them and re-motivate them after every game because they’ve only received the required eight plays during any given game, win or lose.

In an effort to ensure more playing time, my son asks the coaches what he can do better. He does what the coaches suggest; the coaches give him “attaboys” and kudos and my child is so unbelievably motivated by just a small tap on the helmet for a job well done. He’s for sure going to play even a little more the next game, right? Not so.

Week after week I watch this unfold. Each game, win or lose, I am consoling a child who feels so defeated and useless because he spends a large portion of the game standing on the sidelines. Please know this is not a child who is upset easily. I have strong children, but nonetheless, they are just children; this is not the NFL.

Until now I have held my tongue. I have taught my children not to give up; that they will have their chance and that they must prove themselves every day to all the coaches. That being said, when a child really does have skill and exhibits the desire to succeed, it is very disconcerting that the players with the most playing time are not always the “best” players, but rather they are the coaches’ sons. I have watched this go on for too long.

In an effort to educate myself about Pop Warner policies, I visited the Freehold Pop Warner Web site only to find that the link for policies was blank.

Interesting, yet ironic being that just recently the fans and parents were asked not to comment on the ref’s calls made on the playing field. Apparently, it is OK for a coach to initiate a fight with a parent over the same issue in front of his team, coaches and parents. That is not the example I want for my son. The following is taken directly from the Freehold Pop Warner Web site: “Pop Warner exists to use football, cheerleading, dance and a respect for education to develop strong, smart, responsible, healthy young men and women. We give them experiences that build their appreciation for and understanding of leadership, teamwork and discipline.”

It doesn’t, however, teach the young men that bureaucracy is everywhere, not just in the current presidential campaigns, but in Pop Warner as well. It doesn’t teach them that no matter how hard they work or what effort they put forth, the bottom line is the coach’s kid will always be on the field and there’s nothing anyone can do or say to change that.
Donna Lloyd
Freehold Borough