Whether couples go traditional or trendy, their wedding day should be about celebrating their love with friends and family
By Kristin Boyd
NOWADAYS, many brides and grooms are declaring more than their love for each other during their wedding ceremonies.
With exotic fishbowl favors, eco-friendly gowns and creative cake designs, they’re also letting family members, friends and guests know: This is definitely not your mother’s wedding.
”The dynamic has changed of who’s running the show,” says Mary Harrison, a longtime professional wedding planner and owner of Mary Harrison Weddings and Special Events in Princeton. “It’s not the Elizabeth Taylor days when the mothers planned it all, and that was it.”
Unafraid to divorce tradition, a growing number of couples are saying goodbye to some conventional customs and twisting others to reflect their tastes, hobbies, interests or love story.
That means anything goes.
Cakes no longer come in only tall, round and bridal white. Wedding locales have moved far beyond the altar. Stylish bridesmaids’ dresses might include a little Sex and the City sass, and photos push beyond the simple stand-together-and-say-cheese shots.
”It’s a new generation,” says Erik Kent, a Belle Mead resident and co-owner of NJwedding.com, a Web site that provides wedding planning resources. “And, in general, traditions kind of go out the window.”
Mr. Kent attributes this, in part, to the increase in multicultural and interfaith weddings, as well as television and the Internet, which provide unlimited access to information. Couples can watch weddings from around the world and scoop up ideas for their own personalized bash.
”(Couples) want something that makes them stand out,” he says. “Everyone is such a unique person, and their wedding is a great opportunity to display that. They want to find something special that incorporates their love for each other, and they want to have their own memories of the wedding.”
WEDDING CAKES
Tradition: Round tiers, maybe dotted with a few pink or white icing flowers, adorned with a bride-and-groom wedding topper
Trend: Often a focal point at receptions, wedding cakes are no longer mere desserts; they’re also works of art, according to Marie Danielle Vil-Young, a newlywed and owner of À Votre Event Services in Franklin Township.
Depending on a couple’s tastes, cake options are limitless — from five square tiers (all different flavors) layered with fresh roses (in the wedding colors, of course) to replicas of a college mascot, pumpkin patch or even Times Square.
”Wedding cakes have become infused with personality — from the innovative cupcake tower, composed of hundreds of individual bite-size cakes, to towering edible structures that are as tall as the bride and groom,” she says.
THE WEDDING DANCE
Tradition: Newlyweds slow danced to romantic tunes as guests watched on.
Trend: Couples want to wow the crowd with fancy footwork. Popular choices include an ultra-sophisticated ballroom dance or a hard-to-forget hip-hop routine to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.”
Even parents are getting into the act, if YouTube videos are any indication. Recent postings have included brides and their fathers (or entire wedding parties) busting a move to Flo-Rida’s “Low,” Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” and Sugar Hill Gang’s “Apache.”
THE RECEPTION
Tradition: Bouquet and garter tossing, some dancing, cake cutting
Trend: Anything goes, from cocktail hours and food-sampling tables to belly dancers, famous singers, fireworks, slideshows and after-reception parties.
”Sometimes I have to even remember some of the traditional questions — Are you throwing your bouquet? Are you wearing a garter? Almost never do my brides want to do the traditional,” Ms. Harrison says. “They want to enjoy the party because they know it’s going to go by so quickly. They stay from the beginning to the very end.”
And party they do. Couples pull out all of the stops to grab their guests’ attention and entertain them throughout the evening. Ideas include interactive games, cigar rolling, brandy tasting and playing home movies during dinner, Ms. Vil-Young says.
If couples do select music as their main form of entertainment, they often choose more than one type — maybe hiring a vocalist or jazz trio for the beginning of the reception and bringing in a live band or DJ for after-dinner dancing, Ms. Harrison says.
WEDDING PLANNER
Tradition: Moms, aunts and grandmothers served as wedding planners.
Trend: The wedding planning industry is booming as couples hand over their wedding details to professionals, who can help eliminate stressful situations.
”The planner can breathe life into the couples’ ideas and pursue the best vendors in all categories — from the photography to entertainment, cuisine and décor,” Ms. Vil-Young says. “The coordinator can also act as a sounding board for the inevitable concerns that arise during the planning of a wedding, such as where to sit Aunt Edna and how to tell your friends that children can not be accommodated at this adult affair.”
ECO-FRIENDLY ELEMENT
Tradition: Unless the couple was committed to the environment, it was rarely taken into consideration.
Trend: Incorporating eco-friendly elements has a permanent place on many couples’ wedding checklist.
From using recycled paper for seating cards, giving plant seeds as favors and making sure the banquet hall does not use Styrofoam products, eco-friendly weddings have actually gone beyond being a trend. For many, it’s a way of life.
”People are moving toward eco-friendly personalization because it’s part of who they are,” Mr. Kent says. “This generation grew up with Earth Day, and they grew up with recycling and understanding the benefits of that. It’s changing the process of how wedding planning works.”
INVITATIONS
Tradition: Plain white four-fold card with script handwriting
Trend: Technology and color are two of the elements being now infused in invitations.
E-vites — invitations sent via the Internet — are growing in popularity, and while white was once the dominant invitation color, earth tones and bright shades are catching up.
”We sent out traditional invitations. You wouldn’t have it any other way, and that’s how we were supposed to do it,” Mr. Kent says. “But know, if you’re going to send grandma an e-vite, she might to be horrified.”
Another trend, adds Ms. Harrison, is packaging invitations — sort of like a DVD box-set edition, in which directions, accommodations and save-the-date cards are all included. “It’s very practical, and it looks really cool,” she says, adding that the boxes can be tied with a ribbon or adhered with an embossed sticker. “It looks like a custom-designed piece.”
FAVORS
Tradition: Candy mints, which later gave way to picture frames and CDs of the couple’s favorite songs
Trend: Again, anything goes, including individual cakes, heart-shaped calculators, pen sets, mini-lanterns, tea spoons and candy apples. Some couples are also forgoing favors and instead using the money to make a donation to their favorite charity.
”Mints are out,” says Paula Spielvogel, who owns Favor-It Shop in East Brunswick and was married on New Year’s Eve 2008. “But chocolates will always be a favorite. Even if it’s inexpensive, once you’re done with the packaging, it looks expensive.”
Another trendy idea? Wine stoppers with personalized small champagne bottles, says Ms. Spielvogel, who has prepared personalized playing cards for a couple who wed in Las Vegas, and small pails with seashells for a couple who wed in a beach ceremony.
BRIDAL GOWNS
Tradition: Big white puffy dresses with lace, cathedral trains, gloves, heavy headpieces with layered veils
Trend: Simple silhouettes, silk fabrics, colors, beading and crystals, headbands and tiaras with thin veils
Today’s sleek wedding dresses prove simple styles can also be fashionable, says Steve Cintron, owner of A Perfect Dress in Lawrenceville. “Customers want a little bit of fashion in their wedding gowns,” he says. “A lot of the fabrics they use today, and the styling and the color, make it more glamorous.”
That means white and puffy dresses no longer corner the market. Oyster, rose, ivory blush and spun gold are among the most popular colors, and, with fabrics, silk is gaining on taffeta, says Mr. Cintron.
”White has been around since they invented the wedding gown,” he says. “Now designers are experimenting a little bit with the colors, and more customers are willing to try that.”
PHOTOGRAPHY
Tradition: Group shots at the altar, couples looking straight into the camera
Trend: Black-and-white photos with hand coloring, candid shots, couples interacting, wedding albums that resemble scrapbooks
Couples are becoming more adventurous and artistic with their shots, especially since there are no limits to the number of shots photographers can take with digital cameras, says Matt Altaro, a longtime photographer and owner of Divided Eye Studios in East Windsor.
”You definitely have seen people move from just up at the altar to all over the place — parks, college campuses. I’ve even done stuff in urban areas,” he says, adding he recently photographed a wedding couple posed with old, broken-down buildings. “People are thinking more edgy.”
The most popular trend is artistic shots, particularly black-and-white photos with hand coloring. “Everybody wants it,” he says. “It has an old feel with a touch of color.”
No matter where couples take photos, however, “It’s most important to let the bride and groom be themselves on their wedding day,” he adds.
Mr. Kent agrees. Whether couples go traditional, trendy or combine the two, their wedding day is all about the celebration of love that they shared with their friends and family.
”With weddings, you remember if the food was good, if the music was good and if the couple showed their love for each other,” he says. “That makes for a great event. And there are so many ways for a couple to do that.”

