Once again, my readers have come through. When I ask them to respond to a column, they respond. Man, do they respond.
A few weeks ago, after writing a column about how I thought the American auto industry could save itself by reintroducing the cars that made it famous — like the ’67 Firebird, the ’56 Chevy Bel Air, any GTO from the 1960s, and the Dodge Charger in the movie “Bullitt” — I asked readers to send me a brief email telling me which cars they’d most like to see built again. I also asked them to include a brief memory of why a particular make of auto made them weak-kneed with nostalgia, and said I’d print some of the best messages in the paper.
As always, I try to keep my promises, but I was surprised by the responses. You’d have thought most car nuts would want classic muscle cars back on the market, but that wasn’t always the case.
We’ll start today with a reader I’ll only identify as Mr. X. The reason for anonymity is obvious.
“The 1957 Nash Rambler Wagon,” Mr. X wrote, “because I lost my virginity in that car! :)”
My first thought was that image was wrong on so many levels it made my brainpan ache, but then I reconsidered. When I was about 17, my Firebird was in the shop for a couple of weeks and my mother let me drive her 1963 Rambler Classic. I remember being impressed by the fact that even though the Rambler was as ugly as a redbone hound with mange, it had reclining seats. I never put that particular feature to use, because it’s hard to get dates when you’re driving a ’63 Rambler, but it was good to know they were there should an opportunity arise.
C.K. said he’d vote for the Ford Ranchero, specifically the version based on the Ford Falcon, which was produced from 1960 through 1966.
“The Falcon Ranchero was a car-based small pickup. As such, you think you’re driving a small car, but you’ve got a nice utility bed for hauling stuff you wouldn’t want to put in your trunk. And how many of us haul the whole family every time we go to the garden center or the grocery? As for my memories, my grandfather had one (a 1962 model, as I recall), which was part of the reason I bought a 1965 Falcon Ranchero in 2002. It’s still my favorite car of all time, and it has over 500,000 miles on it.”
You know, the 1965 Falcon was a pretty good-looking car, especially the red hardtops, but for my money, basing a truck on one is fairly strange. What you get is a T’aint. T’aint a car. T’aint a truck. It’s a caruck. But as always, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you can’t argue with 500,000 miles. Sounds to me like planned obsolescence was a myth in this case.
Chuck said he’d really like to see them start building the ’77 Pontiac Trans Am again, “like the one featured in the movie ‘Smokey and the Bandit.’ It should be complete with the gold eagle on the hood, shaker hood and scoop, and honeycomb wheels like the original. Every time I happen to catch that movie on cable, I dream of owning that car. If they made it look exactly the same as the original, I would definitely buy one.”
Like Chuck, I loved the movie, because it’s my opinion that Burt Reynolds is a comic genius. Every time I think of his line to Bernadette Peters, who sported a beehive hairdo in “The Longest Yard,” it cracks me up. “My, you have lovely hair — ever find any spiders in it?” Now, that’s comedy! And you have to appreciate a movie where the characters have names like Big Enos Burdette, Cletus Snow, Buford T. Justice, and Sally Field as “Frog” because she’s always hopping around.
I think Chuck is on to something here.
A few of my readers made it plain they didn’t read my original column closely when I said I realized that if the automakers started producing these classics again, they’d have to put modern engines, and steering systems, and drive trains and transmissions on the inside. I said they only had to look exactly like the originals on the outside. Some readers missed that.
Alan, for example, said I was off my rocker.
“I had the original 1965 Mustang 2+2 with 289 V-8,” he wrote. “Beautiful car! I was 18 years old, my first car! I absolutely loved it. Until I drove it. I had been raised in baby carriages that handled better than the Mustang. Whenever you cornered sharply, you ran the risk of scratching the outside door handles, it leaned over so far. You do know it was built on the Ford Fairlane chassis, not particularly a sporty car. Workmanship was strictly a theoretical concept to Ford. Half of the screws that attached the trim strips that held up the roof liner were missing. It had a 4-speed, closeratio manual transmission that jumped out of gear in fourth into neutral whenever I’d hit a tar strip in the road at 60 mph. I could go on about the wonderfulness of this vehicle, but I think you may be getting the picture.
“Greg, it was a gorgeous piece of junk. Do NOT build THAT car again. It handled poorly, accelerated like a Fairlane, braked like Fred Flintstone was dragging his feet to slow down and had the reliability of a $2 Rolex. The cars that are at auction for $100,000 are NOT the same cars. They have been carefully taken apart, cleaned, adjusted, improved, painted, chromed or whatevered to get the package to work. They look great and NOW they work, uh, OK. Brakes still stink and handling is lousy (if original).
“I’m afraid our memories of loved ones greatly improve with age, and the classic muscle cars are no exception. I now drive a Subaru STI that is twice as fast off the line, all-wheel drive, tremendous brakes, 6-speed bulletproof transmission, corners on rails, gets better gas mileage and is dead reliable. Bringing back wounded-duck Detroit iron will not resurrect the U.S. auto industry.”
Well, you’re very erudite, and you are probably right, Alan. But thanks for stepping on my daydream and squashing it flat as highway road kill. You probably don’t believe in Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, either.
Gregory Bean is the former executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers. You can reach him at [email protected].