Marie Harvey, Nostrand Road
I read with interest the letters from readers Susan Anderson and Tom Griffo in the Oct. 8 issue of the Hillsborough Beacon. Both took exception to a recent editorial that supported gay marriage, calling the column “dismissive, derisive, inane, inaccurate and insulting” for suggesting that homophobia could be at the root of opposition to gay marriage.
I’d like to pose a scenario for those who profess a desire to “protect” marriage, but before I do, I’d like to present qualifications that show I do not have a “gay agenda.” Like Ms. Anderson, I am a person of faith and good will, Catholic, to be precise. When my children were younger, I taught religious education at St. Joe’s in Hillsborough for 9½ years, ran the Pre-Cana (marriage prep) program at St. Thomas the Apostle in Bloomfield for eight years, and was part of the Archdiocese of Newark’s Engaged Encounter (also marriage prep) team community for nine years. I “get” the sacramental aspect of marriage. In answer to Mr. Griffo’s question, “Are supporters of ‘gay marriage’ harboring anti-heterosexual sentiments?” that would be a no. I am unquestionably heterosexual, having been happily married to my one and only husband for 25 years; our two children are now in college.
Now for that scenario. Your child comes to you and says, “Mom and Dad, I’ve met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. We share important values and have many common interests. We want to get married and create a family together. I’m so happy! Oh, and Mom and Dad, I’m gay.” As a staunch defender and protector of marriage, you look your child squarely in the eye and reply, “I’m sorry. You have no right.”
When it’s no longer the anonymous “us” and “them,” would that be your answer? Does “separate but equal” still sound good? Two people who wish to enter into a committed, exclusive, spiritual union have the legal right to wed and call it marriage. To deny that right to folks who happen to be gay is nothing short of discriminatory.
