Rabbi Annie Tucker, The Jewish Center
To the editor:
Over the past few months, count-down fever to the royal wedding has overtaken America! While I was not amongst those who woke at 4 a.m. this morning to enjoy tea and scones in my tiara while waiting to catch a first glimpse of Kate Middleton’s dress, I will admit that I’ve gotten as swept up in the festivities as anyone the nostalgia for Princess Diana’s wedding 30 years ago, the hope and promise of a lovely young couple about to begin their life together, the welcome respite from overwhelmingly bleak news coverage to instead follow a story of romance and joy. Weddings – be they royal or more pedestrian tend to inspire strong feelings of emotion because they represent new beginnings and continuity at the same time; they capture a particular moment of optimism and love. I wish Prince William and Kate the very best for a long and happy life together!
While I love weddings as much as anyone, I will tell you that what I have come to find even more moving over the last few years is anniversaries particularly those of couples married many years. Over my time at The Jewish Center I have been privileged to witness spouses marking 40, 50, or even 60 years together and, while these celebrations may be less lavish than their original counterparts, I think that they represent something even more significant not the promise of partnership and commitment but rather evidence of its strength and endurance. Weddings are magical and beautiful and filled with possibility. How much more romantic, however, are the wizened faces of a bride and groom who have experienced a lifetime of joy and sorrow together and remain very much in love!
At this moment on the Jewish calendar we also find ourselves in a season of counting, a period known as Sefirat HaOmer (Counting of the Omer). This interval, which begins the second night of Passover and continues through Shavuot, is named for the new grain harvest which was brought to the ancient Temple in Jerusalem on the 16th of Nissan (the second night of Pesach) and is counted nightly in fulfillment of the command from Leviticus, “You shall count until seven full weeks have elapsed; you shall count fifty days until the day after the seventh week.” One of the many things that is unique about the Omer is that we do not “count down” as we do towards so many exciting events in life four more months until vacation, three more weeks until the wedding, six more days until my due date. Rather, we “count up” during the Omer, marking the days and weeks that have already passed since Pesach (“Today is forty days which is five weeks and five days of the Omer”) rather than the number of days that are left until Shavuoth.
What is the difference between counting down and counting up? I think it is the difference between a wedding and an anniversary, the difference between seeing achievement as captured in a discrete moment versus seeing it as a process that deepens and evolves over time. As much as we look forward to Shavuot and its celebration of the 10 Commandments, what we truly mark during the period of the Omer is not only the day itself but also the process that brings us there our first seven weeks as a free people! We count up, treasuring each and every moment of our autonomy while also looking forward to the event that will make it complete the receiving of Torah. Like so many other things that we count up in life our age, the number of years we have practiced our profession or lived in our home, the length of our marriage see beauty in longevity and not only in newness.
I look forward to a day in the future when Prince William and Kate will mark their 30th and 40th and, God willing, 50th anniversary together. Counting down the days to their nuptials has been exciting, but watching their relationship develop and intensify over time will truly be a thing to behold!
Rabbi Annie Tucker
The Jewish Center
Princeton

