Bummer alert: If you need one more reason to feel old, there’s nothing better than a commercial selling Medicare supplement insurance to the tune of Steppenwolf’s 1968 rock anthem, “Born to Be Wild.” By now, you’ve probably seen the commercial, and if you come from the generation for whom that song was considered life advice, it plumb skeeves you out.
In the unsettling 30-second spot (a 60- second version provides added context and doubles the torture quotient), a grandpa is hanging around listening to his granddaughter’s all-girl band butcher “Born to Be Wild” in another room.
He stalks down the hall, barges into band practice, tells the granddaughter to “Give it to me,” and proceeds to rock the two-chord intro like he’s John Kay, the band’s rhythm guitarist. The girls are really impressed, and their antics as gramps works those two chords are the stuff of nightmares.
After that, you discover that this is all part of an Anthem Blue Cross effort to sell Medicare supplement insurance. The name of the campaign is a finger in the eye of every person who listened to that song and imagined themselves “lookin’ for adventure, and whatever comes our way.”
Are they trying to be cute? Ironic? Deliberately confrontational? And what’s next? Will Metallica do a commercial for car insurance?
Then, the other night, about two minutes after that b2bwild monstrosity played for the second time in 30 minutes, there was a story on the news that Graham Nash and David Crosby had turned up at Zuccotti Park to show their support for the Occupy Wall Streeters. Nash looked fairly dapper, but Crosby looked like he’d been at Port Authority, panhandling quarters just before the gig. Among other things, the geriatric duo played their protest anthems, “Teach Your Children Well” and “Long Time Coming.”
It is interesting to note that none of the protesters interviewed for the news story actually knew who the two old dudes with guitars were, although one admitted he might have heard the songs at his grandmother’s.
This sort of thing has been going on for a long time, and it probably shouldn’t bother me anymore, but it continues to aggravate. I have a negative physical reaction. I can’t help it.
And while I’m sure Nash and Crosby might have wanted to make a statement of political support, it’s a sad fact that their music has been used to sell things on more than one occasion, and the Zuccotti Park sing-in won’t do much to rehabilitate their image as crass capitalists. And then again, it might. Consider the cases of former gangsta rappers who are now safe for Sunday school.
You remember Ice-T, who created all that controversy after his song “@#$% the Police!” hit the charts and he appeared in Rolling Stone, wearing a police uniform and carrying a nightstick? These days you can see him almost every night playing a detective in reruns of “Law and Order.” Then there was Ice Cube, whose band N.W.A. (you know what it stands for), came straight out of Compton, Calif., with lyrics like “I grabbed my sawed off, and bodies got hauled off.” These days, he’s acting in family movies.
Snoop Dogg, who once faced murder charges, is now the coach of his son’s Pee- Wee football team, and funds nearly the whole league. So maybe there is redemption for individuals.
But for the people who keep making me feel old and miserable with ads like the “Born to Be Wild” travesty? I hope they spend an extra eon or so in the seventh level of you know where.
File this one under: Forty lashes with typewriter ribbon. Afew weeks ago, I had a throwaway line in a column about songs that get stuck in my brain, and mentioned the song,
“Yummy, Yummy,
Yummy, I’ve Got Love inMy Tummy,” by the
Archies. I knew the song was recorded and made popular by the
1910 Fruitgum Company (the Ohio Express was mixed up in the whole thing somehow, as well), but for years I’ve seen the Archies credited with performing, or even writing, the song on many guitar tab websites (that’s my excuse, at least).
I could share those if you want, but I really would like to let this whole controversy die. Within a day or so after the column ran, I started getting emails from people who wanted to correct my blunder. I got as much email about this as anything I wrote this year, in fact. People were even calling the office to rat me out.
Most of the messages were friendly, and a couple were representative. Mickey, for example, said, “I am a longtime fan of you, and your column. In this article where you mention songs that are stuck in your head, you mention “Yummy Yummy Yummy” by the ARCHIES. The song is by THE OHIO EXPRESS, who were just a studio band who also recorded under other names including THE 1910 FRUIT GUM COMPANY.”
Jo-Ann said, “Hi Greg — Re: your column in the November 3, Suburban. The Archies sang ‘Sugar, Sugar,’ and I believe it was the 1910 Fruitgum Company that sang ‘Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.’ I could be wrong, but I loved bubblegum music as much as I loved The Stones, so … Have a great day. Rock on.”
I’ll also point out that one of the editors at Greater Media Newspapers was the first to call me out the day after the column ran.
So I give! I told a joke without doing enough research! And now, for punishment, I’ve got that stupid song stuck in my head again (the scientific term is “ear worm”) and it’s been driving me insane all week. If I promise never to do something this irresponsible again, will one of you nice readers come over and pry it out of my head? I’m sure you’ll have to use a crowbar. Maybe plastic explosives.
Gregory Bean is the former executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers. You can reach him at [email protected].