I n a world where technological advancements are changing faster than the eye can blink, it’s important to keep up with the latest advancements or risk falling behind the eight ball and being stuck in the Dark Ages with the old fogies.
Since I’m not ready to be counted out of the game yet, I carry my smart phone everywhere I go and check it constantly for messages from friends, family members or work as it beeps, boops, plays songs and even rings on occasion as I get emails, texts and sometimes even phone calls. I need to be in control of everything going on out there in the cyberspace that surrounds me at all times, but my smart phone never lets me forget who is really in control.
Sometimes I put my smart phone in my pocket and forget to lock it. That’s when it starts to take on a personality of its own and I lose control of my dialing habits as my smart phone takes on a life of its own and seizes the moment.
During a recent dinner in my house, my family had a blast comparing notes about the strange messages they have received from me by mistake and the stories I’ve told them about the strange calls my phone has made without me. I took notes during their conversation so I could share my exploits with you.
They have all been called many times by mistake, at all hours of the day and night, but then again, they have done the same to me, so we’re even on that ground. They even have a name for it — “butt dialing.”
My phone picks the worst times to dial people I haven’t spoken to in ages. It constantly dials people randomly, and I hope I hang up before it rings on their end. I don’t know how it decides who to call.
One night at 11:30 p.m. I was wiping down the inside of my oven and had my phone in my robe pocket. All of a sudden I heard someone saying, “Hello, hello?”
I got a little spooked hearing voices coming from my oven, especially because it sounded like my cousin Ellen. When I realized that my phone was in my pocket and had dialed her when I leaned on it, I took it out and apologized to Ellen, who was a little frightened to be getting a call so late, but was very understanding once I explained.
I remember the days when phony phone calls from kids were a problem, but phony texts? That’s a new one. My smart phone must have the soul of a child in it because it makes lots of prank calls and texts, since it’s so “smart.”
It often texts people a crazy series of letters and symbols without my knowledge. It even sent someone a message with a smiley
face at the end and they responded,
“Huh?”
One day when I liked the way I did my hair, I decided to take a photo of myself with my phone to show my hairdresser how I like it to look. I took a few shots and then went to work. A few minutes later my husband called to say he liked the photos I sent to him. I was so relieved they went to my husband by mistake and no one else. I feared they went to all my contacts. That would have been really embarrassing!
I love texting, and it comes in handy when I want to keep in touch with people. I recently had a birthday and everyone who usually calls me texted me. Even my mother texted me. And my friend who usually calls me to sing “Happy Birthday” every year texted me the words to the song. Cell phones are taking over my life!
The other night I texted my 22-year-old son that it was his turn to take out the trash. He didn’t respond. I texted him and texted him “WHERE ARE YOU?” for several hours, thinking that something had happened to him on his way home.
I finally went upstairs to ask my husband if he had seen him and realized my son was sleeping in his own bed. He hadn’t gone out that night at all and I didn’t realize it. He thought I was nuts (again) when he woke up and saw my messages.
Not too long ago I was on the landline phone in my house talking to one of my sons and I got a call-waiting beep. I had them wait a minute while I retrieved the other call.
There was no one there, but I heard myself saying hello and realized that I had been running my fingers over the keys on my cell phone during the conversation. When I looked at the cell phone’s display screen, I saw that I had called myself at home. I thought that was kind of funny, yet kind of scary.
The best one was when I had to drop off my car at the service station next to my office to have some work done. I phoned the mechanic prior to my arrival and then placed my cell phone in my handbag.
As I was standing next to my car after I arrived, the service station’s telephone rang and the gas attendant answered it. Then he hung up and it rang again and again, so he handed the cordless phone to the mechanic, because people were waiting to receive gas. I assumed they were having a busy day.
The mechanic got into my car and pulled it into the bay and the phone rang again. He had the cordless phone with him in the car and when he got out of my car, he said the strangest thing was happening.
Every time he answered the gas station’s phone, he heard his voice in my car. I said my car’s Bluetooth was kicking in, but it was impossible that it would be answering his phone since it is only set up to work with my phone. We both tried to figure it out and couldn’t. I said it was bizarre.
I left the car and started walking back to my office and heard the gas station’s phone ringing again. Suddenly it hit me. I took my cell phone out of my purse and saw that it was redialing the gas station since I never locked it after I made my initial call. I must have looked like a nut walking along the road because I started to laugh, and I laughed all the way back to my office.
When I shared that one with the kids, they all just shook their heads. As I walked away, I heard their phones making their texting noises. I fear they were texting each other to discuss putting me and my smartaleck phone someplace where the old fogies go to text and make calls under constant supervision.
P.S.— When I finished writing this column, I checked my phone and found that it had actually shut itself off. Smarty phone just had to have to the last word — or lack thereof!
Amy Rosen is a Greater Media Newspapers staff writer. She may be reached at [email protected].