Letter to Fair Haven mayor about trees, freedom

Thank you for your response to my email of Dec. 15, 2011. In 1957 I owned a home on River Road in Fair Haven and had a crabapple tree in the backyard. I didn’t like the tree, so I cut it down. This was possible because in those days residents were free from the long nose of freedom stealing bureaucrats.

Under your new, probably unconstitutional, law I would have to do the following:

Obtain and complete a two-page $25-per-tree removal permit, which entails: a. Confirm the tree’s health, damage, and threat to public health or safety. b. Is it a holly or dogwood? Code enforcement officer will inspect if unknown. c. Any other applications pending. d. Give reasons to whoever is going to read this ridiculous application why I want to remove a tree from my privately owned, heavily taxed property. e. Describe the tree, diameter, and location of the tree to be executed and its replacement. f. Find a tree expert, supply name, phone number and address. g. Get tree expert’s recommendations and comments. Maybe I can find one who believes in freedom enough that he will agree with me that the tree is ugly and should be converted into firewood. h. Draw a map showing structures, driveways, proposed location of tree to be murdered, specimen trees (defined as any tree that is not a “significant specimen tree”) and replacement.

Next comes the code enforcement officer with 13 additional intrusions on our liberty.

If any of the above nonsense is not done correctly, we arrive at a $2,000 fine and 90 days in jail. If George Washington lived in Fair Haven and cut down the cherry tree, he would still be sitting in the Monmouth County slammer.

Please educate me: which one of you came up with “breast height”? Sounds like a quote from Chairman Mao’s red book.

Strike a blow for freedom and scrap this awful, burdensome power grab.

Barry Caulfield
Fair Haven