By Lea Kahn, Staff Writer
The story of black history and Black History Month is inspiring. It’s about knowing one’s history, and using it to bring diverse groups of people together rather than to separate them.
That was the message delivered by the Rev. DeForest B. Soaries Jr., the senior minister at the First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens in Somerset, and the first black man to hold the position of secretary of state in New Jersey.
Rev. Soaries, secretary of state from 1999 to 2002, was the keynote speaker Tuesday night at Rider University as the school wrapped up its annual celebration of Black History Month.
There are differences between black culture and other cultures, which is a point that was made clear during the funeral for Whitney Houston a few weeks ago, said Rev. Soaries. The media covering the funeral expected it to last about an hour or so, and not the three or four hours it would likely take, he said.
The news anchors described the event as a “homecoming,” although black culture refers to a funeral as a “home-going,” said the 60-year-old Rev. Soaries. That’s because “you are going over to the other side,” he said.
”The commentators saw the words but they couldn’t say the words (‘home-going’). That’s a very telling example of why we have Black History Month,” he said, adding that it is an example of how people can live together, but not understand each other.
”People who think they know us can’t describe where we are going,” Rev. Soaries said.
The minister pointed to the example of his cousin, who worked with a white woman who was her supervisor but who was also her close friend. His cousin lived with his family in their home in Montclair. It was not unusual for extended family and sometimes people who were friends but who were not biologically related to live under the same roof.
When a family member died, his cousin wanted to take the day off to attend the funeral, but the supervisor her friend said it would not be permitted under company policy because the person who had died was not “immediate family,” such as a sibling or parent, Rev. Soaries said. She took the day off and lost her job.
It was not a racist act, he said. The manager his cousin’s supervisor and friend had nothing against black people, but she inherited an institution and a policy that defined “family” in a different manner, he said.
Rev. Soaries then pointed to his own service as the secretary of state, which entitled him to be chauffeured by a state trooper. The trooper saw him as someone who had always been important.
”We are not who you see today. Everyone has a story. If you are going to respect each other, you have to know each other’s story,” Rev. Soaries said, as he launched into a tale about his grandmother and a shoebox.
Rev. Soaries said his grandmother carried the shoebox with her whenever she went home to Virginia. He was curious about the contents of the shoebox, and sneaked a peak inside it one day when she was not looking.
What was inside the box was lunch a piece of fried chicken, some bread, eggs and some tea.
She explained to him that during the six-hour ride to Virginia, she could not stop to eat lunch at a diner. The Jim Crow laws did not allow blacks to eat at a diner where white patrons were having a meal, he said.
”She said, ‘We can’t stop, because they don’t serve people like us.’ She said she put her snack in the shoebox, but things won’t always be like this. I did not understand,” he said, adding that he could not comprehend that “millions of people” were refused service because of who they were.
Rev. Soaries recalled that his grandmother was upset when the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in 1968. He admitted that he was not very familiar with the civil rights leader, although his grandmother said things would change because of him.
To the extent that something is wrong, someone has to fix it, Rev. Soaries said. He said his own inspiration comes from those who have made things happen, whether was George Washington Carver, who was an agricultural scientist who found new uses for peanuts, or Benjamin Banneker, who was a scientist and who made a clock with wooden works.
The minister told the students and adults in the audience they would feel better about who they are and where they are going if they know their own history. He also urged them to look for changes that need to be made, and then take steps to make those changes happen.
”We in this country can rise above all challenges. I pray that all young people decide not to just want something better, but to do something (about it). If you need some inspiration, then you need to look no further than someone who had to carry a shoebox,” Rev. Soaries said.

