Royce Winsten, 2013 Big Brother of the Year, listens as his “little,” Wayne, plays bass in Belmar on Jan. 15. In 1998, Waldo Sainvilus was a student at Asbury Park Middle School struggling with coursework when he was selected to participate in Project Ventures, a Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth and Middlesex Counties mentoring program to expose young people to the corporate world.
Every other week, Sainvilus traveled to New Jersey Natural Gas headquarters in Wall Township, where he was teamed with mentor Andrea Plaza. Through different activities, Sainvilus worked with Plaza to master writing skills, which were put to the test when he interviewed CEO Laurence M. Downes and wrote a story about the interview.
When Sainvilus began attending High Technology High School, a specialized school concentrating on science, mathematics and technology, he found himself again struggling in multiple subject areas, but with guidance from Plaza, he graduated in 2004. He would go on to graduate from Temple University, Philadelphia, with a degree in strategic and organizational communication.
Above: In 2010, Waldo Sainvilus visited his “big,” Andrea Plaza, who has been a source of support and guidance for the past 10 years. Right: Waldo in eighth grade. Today, Sainvilus is an event production manager with 206 Inc., an event marketing firm in Seattle.
The Asbury Park native attributes his success to the Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) program and the support of his mentor, Plaza.
“It was a really good experience and something I would recommend for everyone. We all need mentors or someone who can push you along,” Sainvilus said. “Sometimes we grow up in environments or communities where there is a lack of motivation, or what we see around us is not that positive. The fact that this program is in place to help the youth is really amazing.”
These success stories are common at BBBS, whose mission is to provide at-risk children facing adversity with strong and enduring, professionally supported one-onone relationships that change their lives for the better, forever.
“The population that we serve [comprises] good kids, smart kids that have been dealt a bad hand. We have kids where the parents are divorced, fathers are out of the picture, kids taking care of their siblings while their mother is working 12 hours a day trying to make ends meet,” said William Salcedo, executive director. “They just need someone, a mentor in their life. We have all had someone who showed us that there is a better way out there and we couldn’t do it by ourselves. Kids don’t know what they don’t know.”
Programs at BBBS are longterm and attempt to reach the child at an early age and mentor them until they turn 18.
Big Brother Royce Winsten and Wayne at Winsten’s home in Belmar on Jan. 15. ERIC SUCAR staff “Our program is a sustained systematic approach to helping with an array of problems: obesity in this country, help with the dropout epidemic, help with educational success, helping kids avoid risky behavior,” Salcedo said.
“Mentoring touches each one of those serious problems that are going on in our county and across the nation. The younger that we can match these kids, the better it is to point them in the right direction.”
The community-based mentoring program is perhaps the largest and most successful BBBS program, providing individualized attention and time spent between an adult “big” volunteer and a young “little.”
Twice a month, the mentor picks up the “little” at the child’s home and they spend two to four hours in a free or low-cost community activity such as hiking at a park, kayaking/ canoeing, mountain biking, shooting hoops, baking a cake, going to the library or playing on the beach. “All you really have to do is be there and make sure that your ‘little’ knows you care about him. That is what so many ‘littles’ don’t have, is someone in their life who they know really cares about them,” said Royce Winsten of Belmar, who was named Big Brother of the Year for 2013. “My theory has always been that people can change the world and you just do it one person at a time, one child at a time.”
Winsten became a “big” eight years ago and still remembers the first time he met his “little,” a 7- year-old named Wayne.
“He was such a little boy. He was very shy and didn’t know what to make of me. He was sitting on the floor when I came in, so I went and sat on the floor with him and I tried to connect, make eye contact. He was really avoiding my eyes,” Winsten said. “It was a bit disconcerting, but we started slow and my goal was to meet with him every other week and so we did that.”
Wayne came from a difficult family situation, didn’t have a lot of belongings, lacked a male figure in his life, was becoming a behavioral problem, didn’t like to read and wasn’t doing well in school, he said. Over the years, Winsten tried to instill the importance of reading by giving Wayne books and constantly asked him about school.
Today, Wayne is getting straight A’s, is reading more, has lost weight and is fit, and makes eye contact, Winsten said.
“The most rewarding thing for me has been seeing Wayne grow into a young man. Here is a kid that could have made some different choices. A lot of kids in his situation would have,” Winsten said. “Seeing him grow into a nice young man who is kind and polite and well-spoken and bright-eyed, and to think I may have made a difference is a reward that there are no words for.”
BBBS also offers school-based mentoring, a peer-to-peer program that matches high school students with elementary and middle school children.
Schools currently matched in the program include: Keansburg High School with Joseph R. Bolger Middle School; Communications High School in Wall Township with Hope Academy Charter School in Asbury Park; and the Academy of Allied Health & Science in Neptune with Neptune Middle School.
“You are serving as a role model to these kids who really need a positive person in their lives. It’s cool to have these kids look up to you. They think you’re fascinating,” said Solangie, a “big” who is a junior at Perth Amboy High School.
“Having my ‘little’ smile at least once during the time we spend together is the most rewarding. I see how I can make a difference in one child and it gives me more motivation to become a teacher to motivate a class of 30 children.”
Since its founding in 1976, BBBS has grown from helping a handful of families, to reaching 500 families in Monmouth and Middlesex counties in 2012.
There are always more in need, Salcedo said, adding that there are 50 children on the waiting list, and as those children get matched, more fill in the slots.
As BBBS moves forward, the goal is to expand outreach in schools and recruit more organizations to reach more than 1,000 children by 2017.
“I want to have a program in every community that would want to have a workplace mentoring program,” Salcedo said.
“Why can’t you have a restaurant mentor five students on the culinary world or have an accounting firm take on four kids to show them the accounting field?”
Upcoming Big Brothers Big Sisters events
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth and Middlesex Counties will host the following fundraising events to support programs and services provided to the community:
Bowl for Kids Sake, March 2-4, will take place at various bowling centers in Monmouth and Middlesex counties.
Individuals, as well as school, community and corporate teams, will spend time bowling with a focus on fun, friendship, camaraderie and, most importantly, the children in need of a positive role model.
The agency is seeking sponsors and teams to meet its goal of raising $80,000. Those wishing to bowl in teams of five are asked to raise a minimum of $100 individually, and students are asked to raise $50 individually through pledges.
Gourmet Food and Wine Tasting, April 18, features delectable cuisine from local restaurants in Monmouth and Middlesex counties.
The event will be held at Salt Creek Grille, 4 Bingham Ave., Rumson, from 7 to 10 p.m. Tickets are $125 each.
Beach Volleyball Tournament, September, will feature a fun-filled day of six- to eight-player team competition. Each team member must raise a minimum of $75. All skill levels are welcome; participants have the choice of competing in advanced or weekend warriors brackets.
Annual Gala, Oct. 19, includes dinner, dancing, silent and live auctions, and a raffle drawing. Guests will hear testimonials from “bigs” and “littles.”
For more information about the events or to become a Big Brother or Big Sister, call 732-544-2224 or visit www.bbbsmmc.org.