Summer may be on its way out, but wedding season is alive and kicking. With proclamations of eternal love, champagne-fueled dances and appetizers that one only dreams of, the celebrations promise something for everybody.
But all parties involved — from the lucky couple to the last guest to make the invite list — must spend a nice pile of cash to mark the occasion.
In 2012, the average price to throw a big, fat, American wedding climbed above $28,000, according to a survey released by TheKnot.com. Add an extra $10,000 or $20,000, and you get a number that’s close to New Jersey’s average, depending on the exact location, said Jamie Miles, the editor of the wedding-planning website.
To reach that average, plenty of lovebirds found ways to shave some change off the bigger expenses, the most notorious being the venue and the size of the guest list, she said.
“If you’re having this beautiful ballroom wedding at the W Hotel, it’s going to cost you much more money than having a small barnyard wedding in rural upstate New York,” Miles said. “If you’re having fewer people, you’re going to have fewer expenses. You can cut the budget in more than half.”
Hosting a wedding on just about any day except Saturday can do the trick for the venue, especially during the winter, Miles said. Brides and bridegrooms might want to avoid June, which she said is the top month for exchanging vows.
Then there’s the food and booze. Erik Kent, a co-publisher of NJWedding.com, said he’s seen plates go for anywhere from $35 to $250 a head. Luckily, we share our state with a ton of caterers, and at least one of them can meet a couple’s needs at a price they can stomach, he said.
A free-flowing fountain of liquor can also inflict major wounds on the host’s wallet, but the wedding guests might not be pleased to see that tradition get the axe.
“You still might want to have an open bar, but maybe just serve a signature cocktail, wine and beer, instead of allyou can-drink, top-shelf booze,” Miles said. Nice recovery.
Most attendees are uncomfortably full by the time the cake is cut, so hosts can serve smaller pieces without detection, Miles said. Hosts can choose to save even more money by storing an inferior decoy cake in the kitchen. That could lower the price from $12 to $1.50 per slice, she said. Smaller bands that provide a big punch can take the place of mini-orchestras, Miles said. It’s probably a dangerous idea to look for the cheapest act, though. Nobody wants to listen to the teenage singer who can’t hit the high notes in “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” by Journey.
Brides and grooms spent more of their own loot on weddings last year — at an average of 42 percent of the total cost — than they did in the past, according to TheKnot.com’s survey. Even with less backing from Mom and Dad, couples must remember to make this a special day, Kent said.
“There’s no such thing as a cookiecutter wedding anymore,” Kent said. “It’s a personalized event, and the best way that the couple can share who they are — as a couple and as individuals — with their guests is to express it at their wedding.”
That brings us to the guests. While it’s an honor to be invited to such a lifechanging event, the costs for attendees can easily break $500 between gifts, travel and accommodations, Miles said.
Unfortunately, there’s not much to do about gas prices and hotel rooms. If you like the couple, suck it up and enjoy the party. There’s wiggle room with gifts, which typically run about $80 for friends and $150 for family members, Miles said. The earlier a guest views the registry, the more likely he or she is to find an affordable item. Combine that with a little something else that “speaks to your relationship” with the future Mr. and Mrs., and the invitee is golden, she said.
If invited to the engagement party, the shower and the wedding, the guest should give a gift at each event, Miles said.
“Establish how much you want to spend on the couple and divide it up into 60 percent for the wedding gift and 20 percent each for the other gifts,” she said.
Here’s a final piece of information for those gentlemen who are currently mere guests, but are thinking about getting down on one knee: The old notion that you must spend three months’ salary on an engagement ring is bogus, Miles said. But since this diamond is supposed to be a symbol of your everlasting love — at least according to all of those TV commercials for jewelers — it might be wise to avoid the cheap route.