Woodbridge students step up to fight domestic violence

By JESSICA D’AMICO
Staff Writer

The sound of so many guys in high heels clumsily clomping through the halls of John F. Kennedy (JFK) Memorial High School on May 28 will undoubtedly garner laughs, but the echoes of their footfalls will ring with solemnity for alumna Allison Sharkey and many others.

“Walk a Mile in Her Shoes: The International Men’s March to Stop Rape, Sexual Assault & Gender Violence” asks men to do just that — walk a mile in women’s highheeled shoes as a way of raising awareness about men’s sexualized violence against women, according to the organization’s website.

Crowned Miss New Jersey International in March, Sharkey, a recent graduate of William Paterson University, was tasked with choosing a platform for which to raise funds and awareness throughout her 2014 reign. She immediately focused on domestic violence.

“I chose it for my own personal experience, so it’s very close to my heart,” she said.

Sharkey said she was previously in a relationship in which she endured physical and emotional abuse before summoning the courage to speak out and get out of the situation.

“I have so many regrets about it,” she said, adding that she wishes she had done something sooner. When she did speak out, Sharkey was disappointed with the response she received in court. She said her case seemed to be taken lightly because it was not reported immediately.

“I couldn’t believe it. It tears me apart,” she said. “I felt defeated.”

Now triumphant on several levels, Sharkey — who will head to Jacksonville, Fla., to compete in the Miss International pageant this July — is turning her bad experience into something good for others. And she said she is eager to make an impression on the students at JFK Memorial High School.

“I’m really targeting the seniors there,” she said, adding that some people tend to think they would never become the victim of abuse. “I would be so happy if I can get one person to change their mind about this.”

Sharkey enlisted the help of social studies and history teacher Edward Kaul to make the event happen.

“It’s really an opportunity to bring awareness to the issue,” Kaul said. “We’re going to try to make it as fun and as light as the topic will allow.”

An estimated one in four women is affected by domestic violence at some point during her lifetime, according to 180 Turning Lives Around, a Hazlet-based nonprofit dedicated to ending domestic and sexual violence. Men can also fall prey to such abuse, but in smaller numbers. Women constitute about 76 percent of victims, according to the 2011 “Domestic Violence in New Jersey” report.

“The statistics are just mind-numbing,” Kaul said.

Sharkey acknowledged that men can also be subject to abuse, and said it may be difficult for them to report it.

With this in mind, both men and women will take part in walking the mile, which will consist of four laps inside the school building.

All proceeds will benefit the Woodbridge Domestic Violence Response Team, a volunteer organization that helps victims of domestic violence.

Kaul said he expects about 500 walkers, with many students from JFK Memorial and other Woodbridge schools participating, along with members of the public.

“We’re involving anybody and everybody,” Kaul said.

Sharkey and Kaul created a Facebook page for the event and have been distributing fliers throughout the area, as well as inviting family and friends.

Other school alumni have volunteered to help, with a DJ providing the soundtrack for the walk and another donating photography services.

On ask.sm, a website through which people can answer questions anonymously, Sharkey requested stories of abuse from “silent witnesses.” These will be posted on the walls for attendees to read, she said.

In addition, Sharkey is hoping to find speakers willing to tell their stories. She added, however, that she knows firsthand how difficult it can be to relive the pain of abuse.

For those who haven’t experienced that pain, doing so metaphorically by wearing heels will be the next best thing.

“Hopefully the guys will wear them,” Kaul said. “I’m going out and getting myself a pair.”

Kaul and Sharkey are accepting donations of heels for guys who need them. But walkers will be welcomed with or without ladies’ footwear.

For adults, the Fox and Hound Bar & Grill, Edison, is setting aside a room for after the walk, with food and drink specials for walkers to enjoy, according to Sharkey.

“I want to be able to say, ‘We did it, and let’s celebrate for the survivors,’ ” she said.

The May 28 event is set for 3-5 p.m., rain or shine, inside JFK Memorial High School, 200 Washington Ave., Iselin section of Woodbridge.

The entry fee is $5, and walkers can register at the event.

For more information, visit www.facebook.com/events/569969046444113/?ref_ d ashboard_ filter=upcoming or www.walkamileinhershoes.org.

To learn more about the Woodbridge Police DVRT or to find help, visit www.woodbridgedvrt.org.